


there is something to keep the light from passing through

by CydSA



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Canonical Character Death, Civil War (Marvel), Crossover, Demons, Fantastic Four Cameos, Fic Fixit, Hell, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mention of Off-Screen Death, Mentions of Violence, Multi, Purgatory, Sexual Assault, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, X-Men References, mentions of rape/non-con, this is HELL people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 61,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5336588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve is killed on the courthouse steps, Tony cannot handle the truth of his own betrayal.</p><p>He has to fix his mess.</p><p>He just <i>has</i> to make this right</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue:  I am sad and angry and I want everyone to be alive again

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a prologue. I'm not sure how long this one is going to be. Lord knows the Civil War trailer has made my heart hurt in so many ways.
> 
> Here goes....
> 
> titles are all Richard Siken...my spirit animal.

The cameras flashed in one long stream of light. 

Tony stared down at his feet. 

That was Steve lying there motionless on the courthouse stairs. 

He tried to wrap his mind around the thought.

“You need to get to safety, boss.” Happy tugged at his arm. “You could be next.”

Tony sank to the steps, lifting Steve’s head onto his lap. “Get help,” he ordered Happy.

“When you’re safe.” Happy didn’t budge.

Tony looked up at him. “Get help. Right. The fuck. Now.” His hands were wet. He didn’t want to look at them, refused to acknowledge that this was Steve’s blood running over his hands. 

He couldn’t focus on anything but Steve’s slack face. 

“Tony!” Natasha skidded up next to him, face ashen in shock. “What the fuck happened?” 

He lifted his gaze, eyes blind. “Carter. Rumlow.” He searched the crowds for a sign of them.

“Steve…” Natasha’s voice cracked on his name.

Tony looked back down. Steve wasn’t breathing. His blood was sticky and covered Tony’s suit. “He’s dead.” He said it, but he didn’t believe it. _Couldn’t_ believe it.

“No.” Natasha’s hand went to her mouth, eyes wide and horrified. 

Happy came back with Thor in tow. “I thought…” he began.

Thor crouched down beside Tony. “Give him to me, friend Tony. I will take him somewhere safe.”

Tony blinked. “But he’s dead.” His arms tightened around Steve.

Thor’s eyes were very kind. “And is deserving of all of the respect we can show him.”

“I don’t think I can let him go.” Tony’s voice was small. 

“Let me care for him.” Thor shone in the late afternoon light as though he was a beacon. 

Tony closed his eyes. “Take him then,” he whispered. “Just tell me where later.”

“Of course.” Thor gathered Steve’s body in his arms and stood. “Heimdall.” Tony watched as the brightly lit column of the Bifröst punched down through the skies. 

And then they were gone.

The noise swept in like a tsunami all at once, overwhelming Tony as shouts and sobs and sirens blared as reporters filmed the event.

He stood, staggering a little without the weight of his captain in his arms.

“I’ll fucking kill him!” The scream that cut through his mental fog had Tony spinning around in time to have Bucky smash his fist into his face. “What did you do with him?” Tony could recognize the fear in Bucky’s face. He relished the pain from the punch.

“Thor took him.” Natasha pulled Bucky off Tony. “Stop that.”

Bucky whirled on her, hands lashing out. “Fuck you. No.” Natasha took his legs out from under him, crouching over him with a Glock pressed beneath his chin. “Calm the fuck down, Barnes.”

Bucky was practically sobbing now. Tony stared at him, blood pouring out of his nose and feeling absolutely nothing. “I’m sorry.” What else _could_ he say? 

Steve was dead.

Steve was dead.

Steve.

Was.

Dead.


	2. a broken man on an ugly bedspread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's avoiding things. Pepper sets him straight. The team needs to heal. Starting with Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there is a happy ending.

Tony stared up at the ceiling in his room. His head hurt. His body hurt. Even his eyelashes hurt.

“That’s because you gave yourself alcohol poisoning.” Pepper’s grim tone had him realizing he’d said that out loud.

“Pep?” His voice sounded scratchy, hoarse as though he’d been screaming for days. He turned his head to look at her.

“Not right now, Tony, okay?” She looked exhausted, dark rings beneath her eyes and skin paler than normal, almost opaque in the light. “The last few weeks have been…” She sighed. “...challenging.”

“Weeks?” Tony tried to remember the past week. The past day. The past hour. 

Nothing.

“Steve.” He sat up abruptly. “Where’s Steve?” He had a feeling he knew but the sick churning in his stomach couldn’t be true.

“Tony…” This time Pepper’s voice was strangled, like she was holding back tears. “Steve’s dead.” She said it so bluntly that Tony knew she’d said it about a hundred times to him already.

“I killed him.” It wasn’t a question.

She shook her head. “Sharon Carter did.”

Tony flinched. “I may as well have pulled the trigger.”

Pepper put her hand on his. “Nobody could have foreseen what happened, Tony.”

“Wanda warned me.” Tony ignored her words. “She showed me, years ago, what the consequences of my actions with Ultron would be. She showed me standing in front of all my friends, their bodies at my feet.”

“It didn’t come true though, did it?” Pepper asked. “The team is still alive.”

“Steve isn’t.” Tony draped his arm over his eyes. “And he’s the only one who matters.”

“Tony.” Pepper sounded angry now. “Grow a fucking pair, you big baby,” she snapped.

Tony’s eyes went wide. Pepper didn’t get mad often, but when she did…. “What?” He moved his arm and pushed up to sit leaning against the leather headboard.

“You have a group of devastated friends who have also lost someone they love,” she said, voice like ice. “They need you to get your ass out of bed and help them grieve.”

Tony’s head snapped back as though she’d slapped him. “What part of “I killed him” are you not getting, Pep?” He pointed to his nose, still swollen bent a little to the side thanks to Bucky’s effective right hook. “I deserved this, and more.” He felt his chest closing up as he tried to breathe.

“Oh, Tony.” Pepper moved to the bed and pulled him into her arms. He buried his face in her neck, focusing on the soft scent of Shalimar as his breath hitched. “Nobody blames you for Steve’s death, Tony. Nobody but you.”

“Bucky…” Tony mumbled into her skin.

“Has been here with the rest of the team, waiting for you to be up to talking to him.” Pepper pulled back. “He’s so sorry for hitting you.”

“His best friend was dead in my arms and his blood was on my hands,” Tony said. “I think he gets a pass.”

“You’ve managed to drink up the entire eastern seaboard’s supply of Johnny Walker Blue,” Pepper said. “Are you ready to stop being an ostrich and talk to your friends?”

Tony felt the hangover pound through his body with a terrible vengeance. “Let me shower first,” he said, knowing he couldn’t put this off forever. 

“I’ll leave some water and painkillers on your nightstand,” Pepper offered. “We’ll be in the living room.”

He nodded his thanks and headed for the bathroom. He stood under the shower, looking through the glass wall to the Malibu coastline below. He wondered exactly how he’d managed to get here. His memory was a blank space. He’d clearly done a good job of getting his drunk on.

He leaned his forehead against the glass. “God, Steve. What do I say to them? How do I get through this? How do we do this without you?”

There wasn’t an answer.

Tony emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet a moment later. 

He was going to have to face the music eventually.

~o0o~

He made his way to the living room about ten minutes later. He’d pulled on a pair of soft cotton lounging pajamas that Rhodey had given him as a gag gift one year. Tony _loved_ them. 

Almost as much as the leopard print onsie that Steve had given him last year.

He paused at the open doorway to the living room, taking a moment to scan the room. 

Natasha and Bruce were huddled together by the piano, Bruce playing some melancholy thing that seemed to weep through the air.

Pepper was pouring tea, sitting in between Happy and Rhodey, smiling at something Rhodey was saying.

Clint slouched by the window, Wanda at his side, head tilted against his shoulder with his arm around her waist. 

Sam and Bucky were outside, Tony realized once he looked in the direction Clint was gazing. 

He took a deep breath. “Hey.” His voice broke on the word as everyone’s eyes turned to him. Only Sam and Bucky hadn’t heard him.

“Tony!” Natasha rushed over to him, eyes wide. “You’re here!” She stopped in front of him, clearly unsure what to do next.

He held out his arms. “Nat.”

She lunged for him, arms a vise around his waist as she clung to him. “Asshole,” she told him. 

Tony felt the damp warmth of tears. He wondered who she was crying for. “I’m sorry.” He had the feeling that he’d be saying that a lot today.

He lifted his gaze and looked into Bruce’s eyes. The kindness and sorrow there was almost too much.

Natasha stepped back, no evidence of her tears apart from that small wet patch on Tony’s shirt. “You shouldn’t have made me worry like that.” It sounded like a threat.

Bruce dropped his arm across her shoulders. “Take it easy, Nat.”

Her eyes were fierce. “We _all_ lost him, not just you.”

Tony tensed up. “But you’re not _why_ he’s dead, now are you?” He spat the words, the inevitable anger spilling out.

“Oh, you do not get to do that.” Bruce put his hand out. “You are the poster boy for self-destruction, Tony.”

Tony glared at him. “Telling me how I should feel, Bruce?” he sneered. “Well I guess I’m okay with being the bad guy.”

“Shut up.” Clint stepped into the fray. “You don’t get to be a martyr about this.” He poked Tony’s chest. “We all chose sides. Someone was going to get hurt.”

“Fuck you,” Tony snarled. “I was there. I know what happened.”

“Fuck _you_!” Clint shouted, shoving Tony’s shoulder. “It’s not all about you, you dick. Not everything in the goddamn world is about you!”

Tony moved into Clint’s space, facing off with him. “I practically pulled the fucking trigger that killed him!” He was having an out-of-body experience right now, seeing himself from above ranting at Clint like an asylum inmate. “I think I get to decide how I fucking feel about it!”

A hard slap across his cheek took him by surprise, snapping his head around and shocking everyone into silence.

Bucky’s mouth was a grim line. “Nobody gets to call fucking dibs on who misses Steve more,” he growled. “Grow the fuck up, all of you.” He stalked away, shoulders tight and head down.

“Jesus.” Clint wiped a hand over his face. “Fuck. What the hell is wrong with me?”

Tony collapsed onto the nearest surface as though his strings had been cut. “I think this might be part where we all wake up and find out that this has been a terrible dream.” He looked to where Bucky had vanished. “Shit.”

His gaze slid over to Pepper. She gave him an encouraging nod. He pushed himself back to his feet. 

Wanda walked to him, eyes shining crimson. “The vision I gave you has not come true, Tony Stark.” The years had not softened her accent, even though it had softened her attitude towards him. “There is still time.”

He glared at Pepper who held up her hands. “I didn’t say a thing, I swear.”

Wanda’s hand on his stinging cheek had him facing her once more. “Look,” she insisted. “Look.”

Tony twitched. “I don’t have great memories of you showing me things,” he said. Her eyes glowed and he shut up.

He looked.

~o0o~

_Steve held out his hand. “Are you with me?”_

_Tony heaved a sigh, not taking it. “It’s not a bad idea, you know that, right?”_

_Steve shook his head. “I lived in a time when people of a certain religion or nationality or sexual orientation had to register and it ended badly.” He put a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I’m pretty sure you’d have been wearing one of those symbols.”_

_“Possibly more than one,” Tony muttered. “So what then? We just say no?”_

_Steve rubbed his eyes. “I’ve already said no.” He met Tony’s gaze. “I’m surprised that you even entertained it, to be honest.”_

_Tony ducked his head away from Steve’s perceptive eyes. “I thought it would be a way to maintain some sort of damage control,” he admitted. “After what happened with Bruce in Wakanda and the crap we pulled with Ultron…” He held up a hand when Steve opened his mouth. “The crap_ I _pulled with Ultron.”_

_“The politicians are already running with it,” Steve pointed out._

_Tony squared his shoulders. “I’m used to dealing with them; I’ll just have to derail the talks.” He smiled at Steve. “You’re a little too much of a straight shooter for the suits up at the Hill.”_

_Steve returned his smile. “And you’re a little too smooth.”_

_Tony’s smile widened. “That’s why they call me Ice Cream.”_

_Steve hooted with laughter. “They do not!”_

_Tony clasped a hand to his chest. “Swear to God.” Then he sobered. “Sam told me that you’ve managed to track down your Bucky.”_

_Steve nodded. “We head out in an hour. I don’t want to give him time to disappear again.”_

_“Anyone got eyes on him?” Tony asked._

_“Natasha’s been watching from a distance,” Steve said. “She’s not happy with me.”_

_“She’s Russian,” Tony reminded him. “She’s never happy.” Steve held out his hand again._

_This time Tony took it. “You take care,” he told Steve._

_“Don’t let the snakes in Washington change your mind.”_

_Tony shook his head. “I’m with you, Cap.”_

_Steve put his sunglasses on. “I’ll have to teach you how the rest of that goes one day. See you later, Tony.”_

~o0o~

Tony yanked away from Wanda with a gasp. “It didn’t go like that,” he told her. “I told him that I was going to sign up for the Registration Act.”

She shrugged. “I only share my vision, I do not interpret it.”

Pepper came over. “You should go and talk to Bucky.” It wasn’t a suggestion.

“Okay.” Tony didn’t have a clue what he was going to say. He followed Bucky’s exit to the garden. 

“How are you doing?” he asked when he reached the low wall that was the only protection between land and death.

Bucky didn’t turn around. He stood with his hands in his leather jacket, staring out at the sea. “That’s Steve’s,” Tony noted dumbly.

Bucky glanced at him. “It _was_ his,” he said. 

“Fuck.” Tony scrubbed at his face. “I’m so fucking bad at this.”

Bucky’s mouth tilted up a little in the corner. “Steve once told me that for someone who talked so much, you sure didn’t say anything relevant.”

Tony scowled, kicking at the stone wall. “Steve liked to prod at me,” he said, using the past tense for the first time. It felt wrong in his mouth.

“It’s because you rose to it every time,” Bucky said. “He loved messing with you. Steve was a complete asshole.” He bumped Tony’s shoulder. “You okay?” 

Tony’s throat closed. “No,” he admitted. “I am very much _not_ okay.”

Buck sighed. “Booze doesn’t make the problem go away.”

“I know,” Tony replied. “It does make me forget it for a while, though.”

“I get that,” Bucky said. “When I realized how I felt about Steve I think I went on a bender for a week.”

Tony looked at him. “How you felt about Steve?” This was important. He knew it.

“In our day, boys liking boys meant jail time,” Bucky explained. “It meant Auschwitz if you lived in Germany.”

Tony held his breath.

“Steve loved his Peggy.” Bucky wasn’t looking at Tony anymore. He was gazing out at the endless blue of the ocean. “He was the loyal type.”

“He loved you too,” Tony choked out. “God, Buck, if you could hear how he sounded every time he talked about you.” It had made Tony sick with jealousy. Petty, green-eyed envy monster.

“I know.” Bucky sounded supremely sure. “But he only loved me like he loved Peggy when I came back to him in this time.” He turned his head to meet Tony’s eyes. “I’ve loved Steve all my life. Even when he didn’t love me in the way I loved him.”

“God.” Tony felt ill. “You didn’t just lose your best friend, did you?”

Bucky’s eyes were red-rimmed and glassy. “I lost the love of my life, Tony and I have no fucking idea how to live without him anymore.” He fell forward into Tony’s arms; face hot in Tony’s neck.

Tony staggered under his weight and maneuvered them to the ground, his back against the wall. Tears ran down his face as he felt Bucky shake apart in his arms. If the only comfort he could offer was this, then his ass could turn numb and he wouldn’t move.

Eventually the tears stopped. Bucky sighed, rolling his face onto Tony’s shoulder. He looked ashen and exhausted. “When last did you sleep?” Tony asked.

“Don’t remember,” Bucky admitted. “Waiting for you.”

“Why?” Tony was curious.

“Hit you.” Bucky’s words were slurring as he tipped over the edge into sleep. “Sorry.”

Tony felt his eyes burning again. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Buck. Nothing.” He closed his eyes, let the weak afternoon light warm his skin.

Bucky was a dead weight against him, sorrow making his sleep deep. Tony kept his arms around him. Guarded his slumber as Steve had done.

They stayed like that as the sun set.


	3. a man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he’s still left with his hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony makes a wish.

Thor came to find them. He looked down at Bucky. “Shall I take him from you?”

The words reminded Tony of what Thor had done _that_ day. “No.” He tightened his arms, waking Bucky when he squeezed too hard.

“Huh?” Bucky lifted his head off Tony’s shoulder. “You’re back.” He let Thor pull him to his feet, and then helped Tony up.

Tony hopped from foot to foot, trying to get the feeling back in his legs. “Where have you been?” he asked. The night carried a chill that had him shivering.

Thor looked at him. “I have been with my family for the past age.” His face was somber. It didn’t look right. “It was too painful for me to remain here with you all.”

Tony wanted to ask Thor what he’d done with Steve’s body, but he had an idea that it wouldn’t be the first time he’d asked the question. 

“You okay now?” Bucky grasped Thor’s shoulder.

“Yes, thank you for your concern, my friend.” Thor returned the shoulder-clasp. “My heart has been heavy with grief. We mourned Steve Rogers in feast and song in Asgard.”

Tony wished for about the millionth time that he possessed a fraction of Thor’s ability to express his emotions. He’d be so much healthier if he could. “I’m sure he’d have liked that.”

Bucky snorted. “Please, he’d have been staring down his nose at us, judging us all for our lack of self-control.”

Tony sputtered a startled laugh. “You’re absolutely right, of course.” They shared a smile. “He could be a bit of a prude.”

“I am happy to see that you are working through your sorrow as well, my friends.” Thor sighed. “I have just come to tell you that I may return to Midgard for a while.”

“How come?” Tony asked.

“My father, Odin, has requested that I remain in Asgard to learn the affairs of state of a crown prince.” Thor sounded pretty bitter at the thought. “I am forced to assume the throne on my father’s death even though it is nothing I desire in life.”

“What about Jane?” Tony knew how much Thor loved her.

He smiled. “My Jane has agreed to return with me for as long as I am needed. It has made my task less onerous.”

“Well, I’m glad that you’ll have your girl with you,” Bucky said. His eyes were sad. “You should spend as much time as you can with the people you love.”

Tony winced. Those words meant so much more to him now.

“That is my intention,” Thor agreed. “I have come to tell you of where the casket that bears our friend has been placed.”

Tony closed his eyes. 

“Where did you finally decide to take him?” Bucky asked calmly.

“We returned him to the ice he was found in.” Thor met Tony’s eyes. “I did ask if that would be acceptable to you, my friend, but you were not in a position to answer me.”

Tony shook his head. “I was drunk out of my mind; I doubt I even knew my name.”

“Oh, you knew your name,” Bucky told him. “You shouted it at people when they wouldn’t bring you more booze.”

Tony sighed. “How many apologies am I going to have to make?” he asked.

“Everyone understood your grief, Tony.” Thor dropped a big hand on his shoulder. “We all grieve in our own way.”

“Thanks.” Tony was clearly going to have to do some major damage control. “I’m going to just…” He waved vaguely back at the house.

“Our comrades are feeling much happier with your return to their company, my friend,” Thor declared. “I too, find myself joyful at your recovery.”

Tony dug his thumb into his eye. “Lord, Pepper is going to want _so_ many shoes.”

Bucky’s smile was warm. “A lady like Miss Potts deserves a pair for every day of the year, at least.”

Tony glared at him. “Not helping.”

Thor and Bucky went inside with him.

~o0o~

Things were a little more subdued inside than at the usual Avengers gathering. Bruce had given up on the piano, thank god, and was talking with Vision in a corner.

Pepper was still sitting next to Happy, but she had listed a little to the side and was sleeping against his shoulder. Happy looked a combination of too terrified and too delighted to move. Tony thought they looked good together.

Natasha and Clint were sharing a bottle of vodka, drinking straight out of the bottle. It looked horribly appealing.

Rhodey and Sam were teaching Wanda how to play poker. They seemed to be losing badly.

“You are ready to leave?” Thor asked, looking over towards Bruce and Vision. 

For an awful moment, Tony thought he meant Bruce.

But then Vision nodded. “I am eager to experience the differences between Asgard and Midgard, Thor Odinson,” he said. “You are sure it will not inconvenience your family?”

Thor chuckled. “There is nothing my father likes better than showing Asgard off to visitors.”

“You’re going with him?” Tony was a few steps behind the conversation it appeared.

“I am not of much use here, Tony.” Vision’s eyes slid over to where Wanda was studiously ignoring them. “I am not needed.”

Tony felt a pang. “I’m sorry that I just checked out for some time there.” He looked around the room. They were all paying attention to him now. “I’m a selfish man.”

“No, you aren’t.” Bruce’s voice was very mild. “You’re an idiot, an ego-maniac and a lunatic, but you’re not selfish.”

“Not anymore.” Pepper’s soft agreement made Tony look at her. 

“We bid you farewell until we meet once more,” Thor said, clasping Tony’s arm and practically crushing his hand.

Tony winced. “I look forward to it, big guy.” He rubbed at his aching hand. “I hope it isn’t too long.”

Thor shook his head. “Jane cannot stay away indefinitely. We will return before you have even missed us.” He paused. “That, however, is unlikely.”

That last one had everyone hiding their smiles. Thor’s arrogance wasn’t an offensive thing. It was as much a part of their friend as his hammer was.

“We’ll miss you,” Tony assured him, looking between Thor and Vision. “Both of you.”

Vision inclined his head. “Perhaps I can find some sort of meaning in the death of our captain.” He said it so plainly that Tony was taken by surprise at the sudden pain. He was obviously still in no way capable of dealing with Steve’s loss yet.

“We should leave.” Thor seemed to realize that Vision’s words had hurt them. He raised Mjolnir and called the lighting. 

“Not…!” Tony yelled as Thor and Vision crashed through his ceiling. “Fuck.” They all stepped into the center of the room and looked up at the gaping hole in the roof. “Goddamn, fucking asshole.”

Clint clapped his shoulder. “That’ll keep you busy for a bit,” he said, trying for a cheerful note.

Tony scowled. “That isn’t the first time that dick has done this.” He propped his hands on his hips. “I’m fucking banning Mjolnir forever.”

Pepper was already on her phone organizing someone to come over and fix it.

Tony sighed. “When did everything go to shit?” He looked around and thought that he might actually hate _everything_ in the room that he could see. 

“When Steve died.” Bucky’s low answer had Tony turning to him. “Since he died, it feels like it’s all falling apart.”

Tony scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t even know how to start.”

“Start what?” Bruce asked, coming up beside him.

“Start fixing the fucking disaster my actions created,” Tony snapped. He saw Bruce go a little pale. “Sorry.” He put a hand on Bruce’s arm, held him in place. “I’m freaking out because I don’t know how to make things better.”

Bruce nodded. “Maybe start with the Senate?” he suggested carefully. “The Superhuman Registration Act goes up for vote tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Tony blinked. “I’ve lost out on an entire month?” He felt sick.

“Make Steve’s death worth something, please Tony.” Bucky’s words cut sharp and deep. 

Tony sucked in a breath. “Wow, that hurt,” he marveled.

Bucky didn’t look sorry about it. “You blame yourself,” he pointed out. “Think about it as restitution.”

Tony met that steady cobalt gaze. Still so much the soldier. Bucky had always been at Steve’s shoulder, guarding his left with Sam at his right. Tony had once been there, until he’d stepped out from behind his captain and fucked everything up.

“I can do that,” he said.

Bucky nodded once. “I’ll see you at the Capitol in the morning,” he said, as though it was already decided. He headed for the door.

It seemed like a signal for everyone else. They moved too, leaving Tony. “Where are you all going?” he blurted.

“We need some rest,” Rhodey told him. “The real war begins tomorrow.”

“I’m not ready,” Tony admitted.

Pepper came up to him and patted his cheek. “So get ready,” she told him.

In a flurry of goodbyes, they were gone.

And Tony was alone.

~o0o~

Ignoring the new skylight in his ceiling, Tony realized he was ravenous and went to the kitchen.

Pepper, bless her controlling little heart, had ensured his fridge was well stocked. He grabbed water, an apple, some grapes, and a block of cheese. Taking his haul with him to his room, he sat on the edge of the bed and took a breath.

His chest ached. Some days he thought it was the ghost of the arc reactor, years gone now. 

Other days it was missing Pepper and knowing how much he’d screwed them up. 

Today it was Steve; a chunk of his heart torn out that he hadn’t known had belonged to another person.

The years since Ultron had been a time for Tony to discover that Steve was pretty much one of the best people he’d ever met. Earnest, honest, and with a biting humor that often took him by surprise, Steve Rogers was a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, squeezed into a skintight red, white and blue suit.

Tony missed him like a limb.

He ate the grapes, cut a hunk of cheese off the block and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he chewed mechanically. Thank god his room was not in the immediate vicinity of Thor’s masterful display of dickheadedness.

“I don’t believe in Heaven,” Tony whispered to Steve. “But if you’re out there somewhere across the great divide, I’d really appreciate a sign.”

He waited, hopeful despite his own beliefs. When nothing came, he sighed. “Wherever you are, I hope you’re happy, Cap. I sure am not.”

He put the bottle of water down on his nightstand and turned onto his side, staring out at the endless Malibu night through the wall of glass that made up his window.

“Blinds down, lights out,” he ordered F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“Of course, sir.” She sounded subdued as though she’d picked up on his mood. “I hope you sleep well.”

“Thanks,” he slurred into his pillow, brain beginning to shut down. “I just wish I could see Steve one more time and make it all right, tell him how I feel.”

“And how do you feel, Tony?” The voice wasn’t F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s but Tony was just a little too far gone to notice.

“Like somebody cut out my heart and threw it away.” Tony barely knew what he was saying.

“What if things were different? Where would you begin to make amends?” Tony lifted his head to peer at whoever was talking, but he was just _so_ tired.

“I’d support Steve, no matter what the politicians wanted.” He knew he was sleeping now. Knew that he was talking to someone while he was sleeping.

“What is the thing you most wish for in the world, Tony Stark?” This time the voice was insistent, demanding an answer.

“I wish I’d told Steve how much I loved him before I lost him.” Tony tossed onto his back, kicking out at invisible restraints. “I wish I could get that one chance.”

A low, soft laugh echoed through the night. 

“Done.”

~o0o~

When Tony opened his eyes again, it was morning. He yawned, feeling surprisingly refreshed. He turned his head to look at his phone. It was already ten in the morning. He’d slept for over twelve hours! 

He rolled off the bed, stretching and groaning as his bones clicked into place. Getting old….older, sucked.

He scratched his belly as he trundled into the bathroom. It was going to be a big day. He had to convince the Senate to drop the Superhuman Registration Act before the rest of the situation went to shit.

He stared blearily into the mirror. He looked a lot less haggard than he’d been expecting. Clearly that old adage about sleep being good for the complexion was true.

He washed his face in an attempt to wake up and then padded to the walk-in closet that was about the same size as his bedroom.

He stopped. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Is there any reason that you didn’t get rid of all my Dolce and Gabana suits? I distinctly remember asking for that about a year back.” He hadn’t been at the Malibu home in a while it seemed.

“I received no such order, Mr. Stark.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. sounded defensive.

“Bullshit.” He propped his fists on his hips. “You told me that it was wasteful. _I_ told you that I didn’t want anything from those judgemental assholes in my wardrobe.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but I assure you that, as I have perfect recall, I have no record of that conversation.”

“I know I can’t remember what I did yesterday, but I definitely remember that.”

“You went to a baseball game with Captain Rogers yesterday, sir.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. supplied.

Tony staggered back, hand coming up to grab at his chest. “Not cool,” he wheezed. “Fucking uncalled for. I never built you to be able to lie.” He took several quick breaths, trying to get his heart rate back to normal.

“Mr. Stark, my sensors are picking up an unusually fast heartbeat. Are you alright? Should I call Ms. Potts? Captain Rogers?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked.

“Are you malfunctioning?” Tony demanded. “I think you need to reboot your servers.” His hands were shaking.

“There is nothing wrong with my systems, sir. I ran the usual diagnostics this morning,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. assured him.

“Then why the fuck do you keep talking about Steve like he’s alive?” Tony yelled. “Are you just being malicious? You can’t be malicious, you’re a fucking machine!”

There was a brief silence that told Tony F.R.I.D.A.Y. was computing his words.

Then. 

“Captain Rogers is in his room, sir and his life signs are stable.”

“What?” Tony dropped to the floor, legs suddenly unable to bear his weight. “What?” 

“I’ve taken the liberty of asking Captain Rogers to come to your rooms, sir.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. sounded as shaken as it was possible for an artificial life form to sound.

“What?” Tony breathed again, the beginnings of a full-blown panic attack digging its talons into his chest. “What?”

The door to his suite slid open a minute later, and Steve rushed in, with Bucky at his heels. “Tony!” Steve dropped to his knees beside him. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. said that you were acting weird and that you said I was dead?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this feels wa-aa-aa-ay more angsty than the last one. Sorry about that. Hope you'll stick with me


	4. the spirit of the thing without the thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets some answers. And then there's Pepper....

Bucky stood behind Steve, frowning down at him. “You don’t look so great, douchebag.”

“Holy shit.” Tony stared up at Steve. He must be dreaming. “Pinch me,” he ordered Steve.

“What? No!” Steve glared at him.

Bucky leaned down and twisted the lobe of Tony’s ear in his fingers. “Ow!” Tony yanked away, too amazed to even swear at Bucky.

“Tony, what’s going on?” Steve asked.

Tony reached out a trembling hand and touched Steve’s cheek. “You’re alive,” he murmured.

Steve covered Tony’s fingers with his own. “Yeah, I’m alive, Tony. Why did you think I was dead?”

“Because you were. You _are_.” Tony felt the panic rising again. “I saw you die. In my arms. On the steps of the courthouse.”

“You’re not making any sense, Stark.” Bucky was looking at him with a narrowed gaze. “Sure you haven’t hit that thick head of yours on something and scrambled your brain?”

“You’re _dead_ ,” Tony insisted, eyes running over Steve’s face. “I had your blood on my hands.”

“I’m starting to think that maybe Bucky is right,” Steve said, pulling Tony to his feet. “You sure you didn’t get concussed after the fight with the Hulk?” His eyes were concerned as he peered into Tony’s face.

“Fight with the Hulk?” Tony wondered if he was actually in an alternate universe. “Steve, I fucking watched you die over a month ago.”

Bucky’s mouth was tight. “What the hell are you talking about?” He stepped in, put a hand on Tony’s forehead. “You don’t feel like you’ve got a fever.”

Tony shrugged his hand off. “I’m fucking telling you that you’re dead, killed by Sharon Carter and Brock Rumlow on the steps of the courthouse.”

Steve folded his arms, staring at him. “What was I doing at a courthouse?” he asked and Tony could practically hear the ‘I’m only humoring him’ tone in his voice.

“You were arrested for treason,” Tony bit out, hating the memory. He turned in a slow circle. “This must be a dream. There’s no other explanation.”

“Or maybe the _dream_ was that I died,” Steve suggested with a placating smile. “Maybe this is the reality and you just had a bad nightmare.”

Tony wanted to scream. “Something is _wrong_!” he shouted. 

“The fact that I’m alive is wrong?” Now Steve sounded wounded. 

Tony shoved his hands in his hair. “How do I get through to…” He stopped. “What’s the date today?”

“April third,” Bucky said. 

“Year.” Tony waved him on impatiently.

“Tony…” Steve began.

“What’s the fucking year?” Tony shouted.

“It’s 2015.” Bucky put a hand on Tony’s chest. “And you need to calm the fuck down.”

Tony sank back down onto the bed. “Two years,” he breathed. “It’s two years in the past.” He dug his fingers into the corners of his eyes. “What the hell is going on?”

_Perhaps I can explain?_

The voice in his head made Tony jerk up. “Who…?” Both Steve and Bucky had worried expressions on their faces.

_Do not say anything, just listen to me._ There was something familiar in that voice. _I am giving you a chance to change your history._

_Why?_ Tony asked. _Who are you?_

_It doesn’t matter, but if you wish, you may call me Uatu._

_This is real?_ Tony was almost too afraid to hope. He wondered whether he should be freaking out more, but he’d see so much crazy in his life that a time-travelling voice in his head was not the strangest thing to have happened to him.

_It is real._ Uatu assured him. _You wished for a chance to make things right with your Captain._

_I did?_ Tony could vaguely recall speaking to someone last night as he was falling asleep. _That was you?_

_It was indeed I._ Uatu affirmed. _I found your grief most troubling. I felt the urge to give you aid._

_And that help was a trip back in time?_ Tony asked. _Isn’t that dangerous?_ His mind was whirling. So many possibilities. He couldn’t wait to talk to Bruce.

_Yours is not the only reality, Tony Stark._

Well, that was something he hadn’t considered. _So, I’m in an alternate reality?_ He didn’t like that idea. _This isn’t_ my _Steve?_

_I didn’t say that,_ Uatu chided. _Merely that there are other realities. I am master of all of them._

_So you’re like Doctor Who?_ Tony was getting an idea of the guy. 

_I am no medic._ Uatu sounded affronted. _I am Earth’s Watcher._

Tony was frankly a bit disappointed. _So you’re not a Time Lord?_

_I am given my position by the Timekeepers,_ Uatu told him. _But that is no matter. What I am trying to tell you is that if you wish, you can remain in this time, before your betrayal. I am giving you the chance to correct your mistakes._

_Like for real?_ Tony asked. _I get a do-over?_ He could barely breathe.

_If you so wish,_ Uatu said. _But this is the only reality, the only timeline that you will know._

Tony frowned. _What does that mean?_

_Your memories of your future will fade as you live this life,_ Uatu said. _So be sure to start quickly or you will be doomed to forget and make the same mistakes again. I can only do this once._

_I still don’t understand why you’re doing this for me,_ Tony said. _I’m not that special._

_Oh, but you are,_ Uatu assured him. _And if giving you this opportunity has repercussions in the future, then it will be for the best. Your future in your current timeline is not a good one._

Tony desperately wanted to ask more questions, but he could feel Uatu’s presence retreating. _Wait!_ he called. _When will I know that it’s worked, that I’ve changed my future?_

_You won’t,_ Uatu told him. _Only I will know the new path. As it should be. Farewell, Tony Stark, we shall not speak again._

Tony blinked. Steve and Bucky were still staring at him. “You said something about two years in the past,” Steve said.

“Did I?” Tony hedged. “I must have hit my head. Hulk really needs to learn his own strength.” He tried a guileless smile up at his friends. “So, anyone feel like going out for breakfast?”

Bucky grinned at him. “We ate hours ago. It’s only your lazy ass that stayed in bed past ten.” 

Steve still looked doubtful. “Maybe we should get you checked out,” he said. “You took some pretty heavy knocks yesterday.”

Tony could suddenly remember that day, two years ago. They’d been testing Bruce’s ability to control the monster within. It had been partially successful. The Hulkbuster armor had been almost pulverized though.

“Nah,” he said, standing. “I’m okay, just what the kids today call a brain fart.”

“What kids?” Bucky asked, all skeptical eyebrow.

“Kid kids,” Tony insisted, heading down the stairs to the kitchen. Bucky and Steve trailed him, Steve still apparently hovering. “I know all the cool new jargon.”

“The fact that you just used the word ‘cool’ in a sentence to describe your coolness tells me you know shit,” Bucky drawled.

“Why do I always forget what an _asshole_ you are?” Tony muttered.

Bucky laughed. “Because you always forget what an asshole _you_ are,” he reminded him.

Steve shook his head. “How’d I get so lucky and end up with two assholes as best friends?” he asked the universe.

Tony stuck his foot out and cackled when Steve tripped over it, almost face-planting down the steps. He and Bucky high-fived each other when Steve cursed long and creatively.

Tony still wasn’t entirely convinced that this was real, but if it was a dream, then he was goddamn going to enjoy every moment of it.

Pepper handed him a mug of coffee before he said a word and kissed him. “Morning, hon, you were sleeping like the dead, so I left you to it.”

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Two years ago he’d still been with Pepper. “Hi,” he squeaked. “Thanks for letting me lie in.”

She looked at him a little curiously. “You okay?” she asked.

“Fine,” Tony croaked. 

“I think he has a concussion,” Steve announced, giving Bucky his coffee before pouring a mug for himself. “He’s acting weird.” Everyone stared at him, including Tony. “Weird- _er_ ,” Steve amended.

Pepper arched an eyebrow at Bucky. “Buck?”

“He’s being Tony,” Bucky shrugged. “If Steve’s worried though, then maybe you should get him to the doc just in case.”

“I’m fine!” Tony insisted. “Stop fussing at me!” He felt Pepper’s judgmental gaze down to his bones. “I swear.” He had to figure out how to break up with her before she figured out that he wasn’t the same Tony she’d gone to bed with the night before.

“You’re being a douche,” she told him.

“And this is different from my normal, how?” he asked.

Bucky snorted a laugh into his coffee, shoulder to shoulder with Steve. Looking with his newly enlightened eyes at the dynamic between them, Tony could see that Bucky leaned in a little closer than Steve did, looked at Steve a little longer, touched him a little more.

It was sort of tragically beautiful.

“Tony.” Pepper’s tone was severe. 

He flinched. “Sorry,” he muttered. “We need to talk,” he blurted.

Pepper went pale. “A conversation that starts with that phrase never ends well,” she said.

“Uh, we’ll go…” Steve edged towards the door, Bucky sidling along with him. “…somewhere that isn’t here.” They fled. Fucking cowards. Tony glared at them.

“What’s going on?” Pepper demanded, putting her coffee down, and walking over to him.

Tony put his mug down as well. He had a feeling things were going to be broken and not just Pepper’s heart.

“Pep, we’ve been together a long time, right?” he began.

She narrowed her eyes. “You’ve no idea how long we’ve been together, Tony. You’ve not remembered our anniversary once.”

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been a terrible boyfriend.” He frowned. “That sounds so high school.”

Pepper tapped a foot. “Spit it out, Tony.” She was used to his attempts to procrastinate.

“I think you deserve better than me,” Tony told her. And the thing was he completely believed it. “I’m not the sort of guy who makes a good life partner.”

Pepper folded her arms. “This is not new information, Tony. I’ve always known who and what you are.” She sat down at the table. “What’s this really about?”

Tony sat opposite her and held out his hands. She put hers in them. “You know that I love you, don't you?” He was so fucking bad at this.

Pepper nodded. “I’ve never doubted it.” 

“And I know that you love me.” She nodded. “But, Pep, are you _in_ love with me?” Tony remembered this time. They’d started living past each other by now. It had merely been a matter of time. They’d fought it, but they were already over.

“What’s going on?” Her voice held that quaver that Tony knew was the onset of tears. There was nothing he hated more than seeing Pepper cry. “I don’t understand…”

“You are my best friend, next to Rhodey,” Tony told her, holding her fingers tightly in his. “You know that, right?”

She nodded again.

“But Pep, I make you fucking miserable.” Tony met her gaze. Her eyes were already glassy with tears. 

“You don’t,” she whispered. “You make me crazy but you don’t make me miserable.” Her fingers twisted in his.

“You worry,” Tony told her. “Every time I go out there, you worry.”

“Extremis…” Pepper began.

“No.” Tony shook his head. “That was the right thing to do. You were never meant to live this life.”

She blinked and the tears spilled over. “This is the life that includes _you_ , Tony.”

He knew his smile was wobbly. “But you hate it.” She tried to pull away from him, but he held on. “Tell me I’m not lying and I’ll drop it.”

He waited. She stared at him, finally dropping her gaze to their hands. “Why now?” she asked. “Why today?” She looked back up at him. “What changed overnight?”

He owed her the truth. “I did,” he admitted. “You deserve someone who wants to lasso the moon and hang it around your neck.”

She tilted her head. “And you’re not that person.” It wasn’t a question.

“I’m too selfish for that,” Tony said. “And I love you too much.”

“You love me so much that you’re setting me free?” It was almost a sneer.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “It may not seem like it right now, but I swear to god, Pep, you’ll be happier without me.”

“I’m not quitting Stark Industries,” Pepper stated.

Tony boggled. “Are you fucking kidding me? The company would collapse in a second!” He shuddered. “The board would lynch me.”

Her smile was watery. “They would,” she agreed.

Tony finally let her pull away. “Are we okay?” he asked carefully.

She wiped at her eyes. “We will be,” she said, standing up and smoothing her skirt. “I think we should perhaps stay on separate sides of the country for the next little while though,” she suggested.

“You tell me where you want to be and I’ll make arrangements to go elsewhere,” he assured her.

“I think you should spend some time at the New York residence,” she said. “I prefer the sunshine.”

So did Tony, but she was letting him off lightly. “I’ll be gone before you get home,” he told her.

She nodded. “I’ll make arrangements to find another place,” she said.

Tony shook his head. “No, Pep, please, this is your house too.”

Her smile was wistful. “No, Tony. It’s always been yours. I guess that should have been a warning sign right there.” She walked out of the kitchen, stilettos clicking against the tiles. 

Tony didn’t watch her go. 

~o0o~

He wondered if eleven am was too early to start drinking. It was five pm _somewhere_ , he thought.

“Where are those two so-called friends of mine?” he asked F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are in the gymnasium, sir.”

He shoved away from the table. Even though he and Pepper had been done for a long time in his memory, it still hurt him to hurt her. At least this time around he’d broken it off before she hated him.

He trotted down the stairs, turning away from his workshop and heading for the gym. The smack of flesh and grunting had him grinning. Steve and Bucky were hyper-competitive. They enjoyed fighting each other almost as much as they loved ganging up on the rest of the team.

He turned the corner and pulled up short. Bucky had Steve down on the mat, strong legs pinning Steve’s arms to his sides and his prosthetic arm wrapped around Steve’s neck. Steve was red in the face.

“Buck!” Tony raced forward, dropping down to pull at Bucky’s arm. “Let him go! You’re strangling him!” He knew that he didn’t have the strength to actually get Bucky to let Steve go, but he wasn’t going to stand back and watch Steve die.

Bucky suddenly shoved Steve away, rolling back and up to his feet. “You keep your fucking mouth shut, Rogers.” His voice shook. 

“What the hell?” Tony stared between them. “Either one of you care to tell me what that was about?”

Steve got up slowly, sucking in air and rubbing at his neck. “Just a misunderstanding,” he rasped, catching Bucky’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Buck.”

Bucky’s mouth was tight. “You need to think before you say shit, Steve.” He stepped close, tilting Steve’s chin up. “I didn’t break the skin.”

“You weren’t trying to kill me,” Steve assured him.

“That is _not_ what it looked like from this side of the room,” Tony exclaimed, trying to remember if this had happened before. He was so shocked at what he’d seen that he had a suspicion that this was new. “I’d like an explanation.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s between me and Bucky,” he said, careful to avoid Tony’s gaze.

Tony glared at Bucky. “None of your business, Stark,” Bucky told him. “Even best friends have a fight or two.”

“You….” Tony sputtered.

“Where’s Ms. Potts?” Steve changed the subject.

Tony was frustrated. “None of your business,” he sniped and stalked out of the gym. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’ll need the Mach 10 suit ready to leave in five.”

There was a brief pause. “Sir, you have just finished the Mach 7 prototype.”

“Shit. Sorry, you’re right.” He shook his head. “I only developed Ten in…” He stopped when he realized he was being followed. He turned to look at Steve and Bucky. “What do you two want?” He didn’t know what was going on with them, but he needed to get some perspective. 

And work out a plan of action.

Operation Seduce Steve wasn’t catchy, but whatever.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked.

“New York,” Tony said. “Pepper needs a breather from me.”

“I’ll come with you,” Steve offered, stepping nearer. 

Tony took several steps back. “No thanks.” He held up his hands. “I’m going to enjoy the pleasure of my own company for a bit. I’m told that I’m charming and witty.” He sounded bitter.

“Tony….” 

“Nope.” Tony headed into his workshop, relieved to see the suit ready. “I’ll talk to you later.” He pointed between them. “And whatever that shit was about, sort it out.” He saw the bruises around Steve’s neck fading already. 

“You shouldn’t be alone right now,” Steve told him.

“I’m fine,” Tony bit out. “You’d be surprised just how very fine I actually am.”

“You just broke it off with your girl,” Bucky said. “I seriously doubt you’re okay.”

Tony lifted his chin as the armor started assembling around him. “You don’t know anything about me, Buck. Not really.” He grimaced as the faceplate clanged into place. “Pepper is better off without me.”

“Don’t leave like this, Tony,” Steve asked. 

“How did you know I broke up with Pepper?” Tony countered.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. mentioned that your heart rate was elevated and that Ms. Potts was crying,” Steve said.

Tony sighed. “Spied on by my own tech,” he muttered. “I’m going to reprogram the toaster. At least _that_ won’t betray me.” 

“Running from your problems isn’t a solution,” Steve said.

Tony stared at him. “Fuck you.” He keyed in the co-ordinates for Avengers Tower. “When you’ve faced up to your problems, then you come try to sort out mine, okay buddy?” He injected as much sarcasm as he could into his words. And Tony Stark had _buckets_ of sarcasm.

“I don’t have any problems,” Steve averred.

Tony pressed a gloved finger to the fading ring of bruises on Steve’s neck. “Sure you don’t.”

New York sounded really appealing right now. “Catch you later, fellas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting into the groove here. Starting over with these 3 is harder than I thought. Thanks for the love.


	5. I didn’t want anything, didn’t do anything, couldn’t do it anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha hunts Tony down. Bruce drops by. Tony confesses and asks Bruce to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be a delay to the next update - holidays are upon me & I have family visiting from across the world.  
> Happy holidays to all who celebrate. I'll catch you all in 2016.

Tony loved New York. She was loud and a little dirty, brash and a complete bitch, but she was the city of his dreams.

He spent the last two days reacquainting himself with his life in this time. He was starting to understand what Uatu had meant. Things that he knew had happened two years ago were taking him by surprise, as though experiencing them for the first time.

He’d ignored his phone, his comm-link and all forms of social media. He just didn’t want to deal with people right now. He tinkered in the workshop on the lower floor of the tower, marveling at how much had changed in just two short years.

The third day, Natasha broke in.

“So, dickhead, you finished crying into your whiskey?” Her rasping drawl had him grinning.

“The other red-headed goddess in my life!” he exclaimed, scuttling over. 

When he reached out to hug her, he got a knife beneath his chin. “I’m so pissed off at you,” she said in a tone that clearly meant evisceration if he said the wrong thing.

“Okayyyyy….” He cautiously stepped out of her reach. “Why?” She was still learning to trust him. He had to be careful with what he said around her.

“You left.” Natasha stated this as though it was an answer.

“And?” Tony prompted, still confused.

“You. Left.” Natasha’s mouth was set in an uncompromising line.

“I. Know.” Tony replied in the same tone.

Natasha’s eyes went murderous. “You didn’t tell me where you were going!”

“I told Steve and Bucky!” Tony protested. “And Pepper knew too!”

“You didn’t tell me.” 

Tony could see his life flashing past him behind his eyelids. Groveling was expected apparently. “Pepper and I broke up,” he blurted. He would try distractions and bids for sympathy first.

“I know.” Her eyes softened to only mildly homicidal. “I’m sorry, but if we’re brutally honest, nobody was expecting it to last.”

“Hey!” Tony felt the need to protest. Mildly. Because, yes, it was true, but still….

“Are you okay?” she asked, always uncomfortable with emotions.

“I’m fine,” Tony assured her and then yelped when she grabbed his finger and bent it back just short of snapping the bone. 

“Don’t do that again.”

She let him go and Tony tucked his abused finger under his armpit, glaring uselessly at her for a moment. He thought about defending his actions, but decided that cowardice was the better part of survival. “You plan on staying?” he asked instead.

She nodded, indicating the duffle bag she’d dropped at the entrance to his workshop. “Same rooms?”

Tony waved her off. “Tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. if you need something.”

“We’re not done with this conversation,” Natasha said. Why did everything she say sound like a death threat, Tony wondered.

He turned back to the schematics for the Mach 7 suit. He had almost wept at the clunky movement on his trip across country. He may as well use his knowledge of the future to advance his own technology, right?

The workshop door swished open again. “I’m sorry, I will never go anywhere ever again without telling you,” he intoned without turning around. “That was fast.”

“Uh, okay, that’s good to know.” Bruce’s mild voice had Tony spinning around, a smile already widening his face.

“Brucie-bear, Brucie-baby, Bruce my goose, Bruce the boss!” he sang as he danced over to his brother from another mother. Or another science experiment gone wrong. He shrugged, grabbing him in a hug, squeezing so hard that Bruce’s glasses skewed across his face. “What brings you here?”

Bruce adjusted his glasses. “Nat called. Said you were in town. I thought I’d give you a couple of days to settle in before dropping by to say hi.”

If there was anyone that Tony wanted to share his time-travelling experience with, it was Bruce. But until he knew the future consequences he’d hold his tongue. “Aw, you came for a play-date,” Tony crooned, tugging Bruce towards his workbench. “Let me share with you the treasures of my knowledge.”

Bruce’s eyeroll was only mostly sarcastic. There was a little bit of fondness thrown in there too, Tony noted. He peered down at the schematics. “You’ve given an overhaul to the operating system,” he said.

“This is why you are my favorite.” Tony beamed at him. 

Bruce frowned. “What set this off?” he asked. “This is light years ahead in technology.” He lifted his head to look at Tony. “What’s really going on?”

Tony turned his head from Bruce’s perceptive gaze. “I broke up with Pepper,” he said apropos of nothing.

“Nat told me,” Bruce said. “She’s mad at you.”

“She threatened me,” Tony acknowledged. “Apparently it doesn’t matter who else I inform of my movements, if I don’t tell her, then I’m a dead man.”

Bruce’s mouth curved in a small smile. “She’s pretty scary when she’s angry.”

“It’s why you two are so perfect for each other,” Tony grumbled.

“Steve was the one who actually told me that you were here,” Bruce said. “He called me when you left.”

Tony groaned. “He’s such a fucking mother hen.” He scrubbed at his face. “I just needed some time away from the BFFs.”

“I thought you liked Bucky,” Bruce said.

“I _do_ ,” Tony insisted. “It’s just that the UST between the two of them is going to drive me crazy.” 

“UST?” Bruce tipped his head to the side. “Is that an army term?”

“Unresolved Sexual Tension,” Tony explained with a flap of his hand. “I was literally drowning in pheromones.”

Bruce blinked. “Steve and _Bucky_?” He sounded totally shocked.

“You’re not being a homophobe are you?” Tony glared at Bruce. 

“No!” Bruce looked offended. “I just thought that any UST was between _you_ and Steve. I’m surprised Pepper didn’t call you on it ages ago.”

Tony gaped. “ _ **ME**_ and Steve?” He was probably pinging bat sonar right now his voice went so high. “I never…”

Bruce held up a hand. “Tony, your sexuality is so fluid it should be liquid.” His dry comment had Tony grinning.

“Thanks, Brucie-babe.”

“Not a compliment,” Bruce assured him.

“Rude,” Tony muttered. Then he slumped against the workbench. “Have I been that obvious?” he asked, chewing on his thumb nail.

“Only to those who are looking,” Bruce said.

“Well, that’s not exactly comforting,” Tony mumbled.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Were you wanting me to braid your hair and paint your toenails and sit and talk about whether Steve _likes_ you, likes you?” Bruce spoke in a cutesy little girl voice that made Tony snort.

“Everyone thinks you’re the nicest of all of the Avengers.” Tony pointed a finger at him. “If only they knew what a colossal dickhead you are.”

Bruce smiled. “I don’t think the world could handle it.” 

Tony shook his head. “You are such a goddam fake, Banner.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. ‘Pot, meet kettle,” he drawled. 

Tony scooted his ass up onto the workbench. “Back to my obviousness,” he said. He tried to remember just when he’d begun to look at Steve as something other than his captain, someone more than a friend. “You sure nobody else knows?”

“Well, Nat obviously does,” Bruce said, sitting on the roller chair and pushing himself across the room with a lazy foot. 

Tony narrowed his eyes. “ _She_ told _you_ , didn’t she?” he demanded. “You weren’t all ‘Mr. Only to Those Looking’!” He pointed an accusing finger at Bruce.

“The reason I have a girlfriend is so that I can abuse her woman’s intuition,” Bruce said loftily.

Tony choked on his own saliva. “Please god, don’t let her hear you say that,” he begged. “You’ll be a eunuch in a heartbeat.”

Bruce grinned. “She’s feisty. I like that in a woman.”

Tony shook his head. “You are actually the worst of all of us,” he marveled. “Nobody knows what an asshole you are.”

“I’ve spent years carefully nurturing my image,” Bruce agreed. “It’s easier than you’d think.”

Tony took the glass that DUM-E was offering him. “What is it?” he asked, peering suspiciously into the contents. 

DUM-E bleeped something at him, nudging his thigh with his other claw. Tony sighed. “I think you’re trying to kill me,” he said, patting DUM-E with one hand while downing the liquid in the glass.

“You are certifiable,” Bruce mused. “Not one other person on earth would drink whatever the hell that robot has put in that glass.”

Tony burped. “Bloody Mary without the booze,” he said, tipping his glass towards Bruce. “I’ve not had anything to drink since I got here.”

“Okay, seriously, what’s going on?” Bruce frowned. “You’re not behaving normally.”

Tony sniffed, handing the tumbler back to DUM-E, who trundled off with a pleased beep. “I’m trying to be a better man,” he stated, attempting the same lofty tone that Bruce had used to talk about Natasha.

The skeptical eyebrows went up. “I _am_!” Tony insisted. “If I plan on wooing our Capybara, then I need to be as squeaky clean as I possibly can.”

Bruce looked doubtful. “That’s sort of deceitful though, isn’t it?” He leaned forward. “Steve knows you, Tony. He likes you as you are. You don’t need to be someone different.”

“I need to be better,” Tony insisted with all the zeal of the newly converted. He had a **PLAN**! “Steve is always so disapproving of everything I do.”

“Tony…” Bruce sighed. “I’m sure Steve just likes to wind you up because you get so nuts when he calls you on your crap.” Tony opened his mouth to protest. “You do the exact same thing,” Bruce continued.

“I do not!” Tony was aghast. 

Bruce just stared at him.

“I don’t!” Tony insisted. Then his shoulders slumped. “Well, I don’t _mean_ to,” he amended.

“There’s something different about you.” Bruce peered into his eyes. Bruce had always been perceptive, Tony thought.

“Maybe I’m a time traveller from the future,” Tony joked, going for a distraction.

Bruce went motionless. “Kidding!” Tony yelped.

“No,” Bruce said thoughtfully. “That actually would explain a lot.”

“What?” Tony panicked. “I was just messing around. There’s no possible way I could actually be from the future.” He really needed to stop fucking up.

“How did you do it?” Bruce asked, ignoring Tony’s alarm. “Was it science, math?”

“Magic.” Tony tried to deflect. Surely Bruce wouldn’t believe…

“Huh.” Bruce leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “Wanda Maximoff magic or Stephen Strange magic?” he asked.

Tony groaned. “I was _kidding_!” he insisted.

“No, you weren’t.” Bruce shook his head. “You ran away from Steve and Bucky, you’re suddenly all about acknowledging the ridiculously huge torch you’ve been carrying for Steve for the past few years, and you’re sober.” He ticked off the points on his fingers. “You’re not the Tony Stark I saw three weeks ago at the White House.”

“I told you that I was trying to be a better man so that Steve…” Tony tried.

“How far back have you come?” Bruce spoke right over him.

Tony rubbed his eyes. “Two years,” he mumbled. Bruce was the sneakiest motherfucker in the universe. And don’t let anyone tell you differently.

“Something happened,” Bruce mused. “Something so bad that you needed to come back and fix it.” He tapped a finger against his mouth while he thought. “Something involving Steve because that is pretty much all you’ve been talking about since I got here.”

Tony went into full-fledged panic. He could practically hear the warning bells clamoring in the back of his mind. “Don’t ask me shit, Bruce. I can’t. I’m already fucking with the timeline.” He stopped. “Forgetting things that made the shit hit the fan. I need to focus, to stop what happened long before it happens.”

Bruce stood, walking over to Tony. He dropped his palms on Tony’s shoulders. “How can I help?”

And that was why Bruce was pretty much the best bro Tony had. Not even Rhodey would have just accepted Tony’s words at face value.

“Tell me the Superhuman Registration Act hasn’t come up yet,” Tony asked.

Bruce shook his head. “The what?”

Tony breathed a sigh of relief. “That is wonderful.”

“The _what_?” Bruce demanded, stepping away from Tony.

“It’s the reason I’m here,” Tony explained. “It was mostly my fault and now I can stop it before it starts.”

“What is it?” Bruce asked, his eyes growing stormy.

Tony didn’t need Bruce to Hulk out on him. “A mistake,” he hurried to say. “A fucking terrible mistake that I’m going to make sure never happens.”

“They want to register us?” Bruce whispered. Tony forgot how smart Bruce was sometimes. That mild-mannered exterior hid a mind like a blade. 

“They thought…think…we’re dangerous,” Tony said. “But we aren’t. And I’m going to make them understand it.” He thought of Sokovia, how much damage had been done, how many had died despite their best efforts. And wondered whether they were maybe right. 

He shook his head. He couldn’t let that thinking take over again. That’s where he’d messed up the first time around. But it was harder to remember the future. He reminded himself of the hot rush of Steve’s blood over his hands and focused on Bruce’s distraught expression.

“Is this because of what I did?” Bruce asked, voice hoarse.

“What?” Tony’s eyes went wide. “No! God, Bruce, it’s what _all_ of us did.” He reached out to Bruce who flinched away.

And Bruce’s face reminded Tony just how much he’d fucked up. “I need you to do something for me, okay?” He grabbed Bruce’s face between his palms. “Promise?”

“I’m not promising anything,” Bruce muttered through squashed lips. 

“If I start sounding like a crazy Iron Hitler, I need you to remind me that I came back to change it.” Tony knew that he was soon going to forget the reasons for going through this again. He was already seeing this timeline blurring into the one he’d lived already.

“I don’t understand…” Bruce said.

“Just remind me that the SRA meant the end of the Avengers.” Tony didn’t want to tell Bruce, couldn’t tell him, that Steve had died as a direct result of his support of the Act.

“Tony…” Bruce’s eyes were troubled.

“You’re the only one who knows, Bruce.” Tony heard the urgency in his voice. “I need to know that you won’t let me fuck it up again.”

Bruce took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine, I’ll remind you that you travelled back in time to stop the end of the Avengers.” He sounded weary. “Although I don’t know how you’re planning on getting rid of them.”

Tony dropped his forehead against Bruce’s shoulder in relief. He had someone else who know. Someone who wouldn’t let him forget his purpose. Because it was more than just Steve’s life that he’d come back to save.

He’d come back to save them all.

Himself included.


	6. knot the tie and go to work, unknot the tie and go to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets back together. Steve and Bucky show up. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo! Happy New Year to one & all. I'm back at work & back at writing.   
> I do apologise but Tony persists in being snarky even when I want him to be angsty.   
> Also, Bucky is so sassy :D

They started trickling in after that. One by one, the team crept into the tower, took up residence in their suites and made Tony feel whole again.

Natasha and Bruce had mobilized the crew, called them and told them that the Avengers Tower was inhabited once more. 

Clint was the first of the original team to arrive, eyes haunted and bleak. Tony took one look at him and pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry.” He’d forgotten. This was just after Laura and the kids had been killed by Rumlow and the last tendrils of the Hydra beast. 

Clint clutched him, face buried against his shoulder. “I thought about not coming,” he muttered into Tony’s shirt.

“I’m glad you did,” Tony said. “Times like this, you need your family around you.” The heart-wound was still visibly fresh now, barely a couple of months old, not years scarred over like in Tony’s time.

“I sold the farm,” Clint confessed. “It wasn’t a home anymore.”

Tony swallowed hard, keeping his arms around him. “I’m sorry,” he said again. It was completely inadequate.

“Yeah.” Clint’s breath against Tony’s skin was damp. “Nothing much else to say.”

“You know you always have a place here, right?” Tony forced Clint to lift his face, meet his eyes. “Always.”

“Thanks, man.” And Clint drifted around for a couple of days, a shade of his former self. Natasha would catch Tony’s gaze, her own as helpless as his. Only time would heal that gaping hole. 

Time and a certain person who unexpectedly took root in Clint’s heart. But _this_ time was far from that.

~o0o~

Rhodey came next. He landed outside on the Iron Man platform and shouted, “Tony Fucking Stark! Get your ass out here!” 

Tony rushed at him, throwing himself at his best friend and almost knocking himself out against the War Machine armor. “Fucking asshole,” Tony wheezed as Rhodey squeezed him.

“Ah baby, I know how much you love me,” Rhodey crooned. He released Tony with a grin. “How come Bruce is the one who called me and told me that you were here?” The armor rolled off as he stepped along the platform. F.R.I.D.A.Y. handled War Machine as efficiently as she handled Iron Man.

“I was nursing my wounds,” Tony told him. 

Rhodey’s eyebrows climbed up over his fivehead. “Wounds?” He sounded disbelieving. “Steve told me that _you_ broke up with Pepper and not the other way around.”

Tony decided that F.R.I.D.A.Y. needed a realignment of priorities. “Did that crappy AI of mine tell _everybody_?” he grumbled. 

Rhodey dropped an arm over Tony’s shoulder. “Why?” he asked.

Tony sighed, letting Rhodey steer him into the living room and down onto a sofa. He slumped against him. “It was time,” he said.

“Nothing to do with the gigantic crush you have on a certain boy in red, white and blue?” Rhodey asked.

Tony glared at him. “That was a drunken confession.” He poked Rhodey in the ribs. “And you swore that you wouldn’t tell anyone.” The only secret Tony had that he wouldn’t ever share with Rhodey, was that he was a time traveller. Tony snorted a small laugh. His goddamn life.

“I didn’t,” Rhodey assured him. “But now the coast is clear.”

“Colonel Rhodes, I have just ended a decade long relationship with the woman of my dreams, please do not foist me into the arms of another.” Tony lifted his nose snootily.

“You’re so weird,” Rhodey said, but he was smiling.

“And yet, you love me,” Tony said. 

He was smiling too.

~o0o~

It was almost anti-climactic when Thor showed up. Tony had been waiting for him ever since Jane had called to tell him that Point Break was on his way.

Thor grabbed him, lifting him in his huge arms and swinging him around. “It is good to be back in the new city of York,” he boomed. “I find I have missed the stench of this most noble town.”

Tony tapped his shoulder, gasping for air. “Oxygen!”

Thor put him on his feet with a contrite brushing off of his jacket. “I always forget how fragile you mortals are,” he mumbled by way of apology. 

“You have Jane,” Tony pointed out, straightening his clothes. “She’s way more fragile than I am.”

“My Jane is a woman of superior strength,” Thor declared, eyes bright with the light of a zealot. “She is most capable of accepting my hammer!”

“Oh my god,” Tony groaned into his hands. “I could have lived a thousand lifetimes without knowing that.”

Thor looked confused. “I have erred?” he asked.

“It’s not exactly socially acceptable to discuss your … hammer in polite company,” Tony hedged.

Thor looked down at Mjolnir. “But my Jane is enamored of my hammer,” he protested.

Tony laughed so hard that he choked. Several helpful thumps on his back from Thor helped him recover.

~o0o~

Inevitably, the newest members of the team followed a couple of days later. Vision, Wanda and Sam stared around them when Tony welcomed them to his not-so-humble abode. 

Vision was as serene as ever, completely at ease wherever he chose to be. Tony refused to think about where he slept. Or _if_ he slept. 

Sam moved into Rhodey’s quarters, preferring to share the Spartan décor there. The training that Natasha and Steve had been giving them had paid off. They were already a team, close as brothers.

Wanda vibrated as she stood, gaze wide and discerning. “You made this home for your family,” she said, looking at Tony with those too perceptive eyes.

He squirmed. Just a little. “Well, I’m a guy who likes comfort, plus I like my friends to be comfortable.” He waved a magnanimous hand. “Mi casa es su casa.”

She hummed her reply and strolled out of the room.

Tony collapsed on a chair. He forgot sometimes just how much work these guys were. 

Then he sat up straight. 

When the SRA had been drafted, Steve hadn’t found Bucky yet. Bruce was wrong. Tony remembered now that Bruce hadn’t been here for the start of it all. He’d been hiding in a jungle in Borneo or somewhere equally remote. By the time Bruce had come back to New York, the SRA was already in motion.

He started shaking. How the hell had he forgotten that? He realized quickly that this was what Uatu had meant. He needed to start keeping a record of his memories. Not only so that he didn’t fuck up again.

He felt the panic attack take over, bright lights flashing behind his eyelids as his breathing grew short. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. call Bruce,” he croaked as he fought the darkness. 

“I’m here.” It was Steve’s voice in his ear. Not Bruce’s. 

Tony forced his eyes open. “Steve?” 

Big arms pulled him close, one hand grabbing Tony’s and placing it against a broad chest. “Breathe Tony. Breathe with me.”

The steady thump-thump of Steve’s heart pushed the spikes of panic back a little. Tony dropped his head to Steve’s shoulder. “You’re here.” He focused on the softness of Steve’s well-worn tee, the heat of his skin, the scent at his throat.

“Wasn’t going to let everyone else have fun without me,” Steve quipped, clearly trying to distract him. “Besides, Bucky and I owe you an apology.”

Tony rolled his head so that he was face-first against the warmth of Steve’s neck. “Yeah,” he rasped. “You were assholes.”

“Takes one to know one, Iron Baby.” Bucky’s sardonic reply had Tony lifting his head to glare at him.

Bucky grinned. “Hey.” He gave a pinkie wave that should have looked stupid but instead looked cool. 

Tony was surrounded by people who were the epitome of cool. Right now he was the utter opposite of cool, with his sweat soaked shirt and his heaving chest. He was the kid that got picked last for the basketball team.

“You make absolutely no sense, you know that, right?” Steve said in his ear.

Tony realized he’d been mumbling his thoughts out loud. Bucky snickered and Tony flipped him off. 

“Any reason that happened?” Steve’s question was too studiedly casual. He was incapable of subtlety. Captain America was the actual opposite of subtle.

“Just had a moment,” Tony said, pulling away. For a moment Steve’s arms tightened around him, but then he let him go.

“You okay now?” Bucky asked, crouching down to stare at Tony. His cocky grin had been replaced with concern. “You normally don’t get anxiety attacks out of the blue.”

Tony waved them both off. “Maybe I’m taking a little strain with all the people that have decided to move in.” His tone was waspish. He didn’t need Bucky’s all-too aware gaze on him. 

Steve was usually pretty clueless to modern emotional cues having been frozen solid for so long, but Bucky saw right through him. It had taken Tony by surprise. And then intrigued him.

“You’re lying.” Bucky was as blunt as Thor’s hammer as he got back to his feet.

“Buck…” Steve put a hand out, but Bucky stepped back and away from them.

“You overreacted back in LA,” Bucky said, eyes narrowed. “Ran away instead of insisting that we cater to your every broken-up boyfriendly need.”

Steve started looking interested. Tony couldn’t have this. “I didn’t run away,” he insisted. “Pepper asked me to leave so I did.”

“She left as well,” Steve offered. “The movers came later that day and took all of her things.” He cocked his head observing Tony intently. “Bucky’s right. You’re not telling us the truth.” Steve folded his arms.

Steve’s arms were a fairly clear barometer of Steve’s feelings. Right now, he was determined. Tony had to get him off this topic. “I needed some time to myself,” he said. “It was more difficult than I thought it would be.”

“I’m still not clear on why you broke it off with her.” Steve was watching him too closely, too carefully. 

Maybe honesty would get him off Tony’s case. “I thought that Pepper deserved someone who loved her completely. That person wasn’t me.” He said it baldly, a half-truth that was designed to make Steve back away.

“But you did.” Steve frowned. “You _do_.”

Of course it was Bucky who put the thing together, who cleverly joined the dots. “You’ve got feelings for someone else.”

Tony made a finger pistol out of his thumb and forefinger. “And the prize goes to Sergeant Barnes!”

“What?” Steve stared at him. “Who?”

Tony glared. “None of your business, buster.” He didn’t dare slide his gaze over to where Bucky stood. He was as transparent as glass to him. Because they were actually the same person born fifty-ish years apart. 

Poor Steve.

“Someone _you_ wouldn’t approve of,” Bucky guessed. Tony kept his eyes on Steve.

“Is that true?” Steve asked when Tony stayed silent.

“None. Of. Your. Business.” Tony pushed to his feet. “Now, if the interrogation is over, I’d like to have a shower and change into something a little less rank and sweaty.” He didn’t look at them as he swept past.

But, dollars to donuts, they were having some sort of silent eyebrow conversation that would just piss Tony off.

~o0o~

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Tony was _not_ difficult. And Natasha’s opinion didn’t count just because she’d ‘worked’ for him for a heartbeat back in the day.

He scowled at the gauntlet in his hand, frustrated with the lack of technology that was so freely available two years into the future.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. please make a note that the double-slit experiment is wrong and that particles remain particles and are not observed as waves.”

There was a short silence. “Very well, sir, but the evidence from the experiment…”

“Trust me, I know.” Tony jabbed viciously at a particularly recalcitrant joint. “Make a note.”

“Yes, sir.” Her tone indicated that she thought he was being stubborn. 

“From the future, remember?” he snarled. She recorded every conversation in the tower, apart from in the suites, so Tony knew that she knew.

Again, a hesitation. “I remember, sir.” 

“You don’t believe me?” Tony stopped his work, abruptly astonished. “How can Bruce believe me and you don’t?”

“I am an artificial intelligence, sir. I am programmed to calculate absolutes, not possibilities.” She paused. “Logistically, the likelihood of you having travelled back from the future is approximately five billion to one. Give or take a million.”

Tony propped his fists on his hips. “But I told you that I did!” He didn’t like the idea of his creation doubting him.

“It is a statistical fact that people who are certifiably insane often believe their own lies,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. offered, entirely unhelpfully.

“You’re calling me nuts? I’m rebooting you tomorrow,” Tony threatened, throwing the screwdriver down with a growl. “What is on my schedule tonight?”

“You have a meeting with General Ross at seven tonight,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. told him.

Tony felt his knees wobble. He sat down abruptly. “General Thaddeus Ross?” he asked, wanting to ensure he wasn’t freaking out unnecessarily. 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Oh god.” Tony scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Do what?” Steve’s question had Tony shooting to his feet.

He scrambled wildly for an answer, “I don’t want to meet with a suit.”

“General Ross is no longer a general,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. advised. Tony wondered how to duct tape an AI’s mouth closed.

“Thank you, Lois Lane,” Tony snapped.

“She is a…” F.R.I.D.A.Y. began.

“Shut up!” Tony yelled.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. shut up. But her silence was weighted and judging.

Steve just stared at him.

“I’m fine,” Tony said.

“You’re shouting at your non-existent lady computer person,” Steve pointed out, deliberately talking like the brainless idiot Tony _knew_ he wasn’t because he knew that it made Tony crazy. 

“I hate you,” Tony scowled.

Steve shrugged and grinned. “Nah, you love me.”

Tony choked on his own spit.

He almost hacked out a lung while Steve smacked him on his back. It was starting to be a pattern. “Are you okay?” Steve asked, his blue eyes far too close to Tony’s face.

Tony flapped a hand, sucking at air desperately. “Fine,” he gasped. “I’m fine!” He straightened with a grimace. “I think you people are trying to kill me today.”

Steve watched him, eyes speculative. “You had a mini meltdown because I made a joke about you loving me.” That was the problem with Steve. He was _too_ fucking smart.

“No I didn’t,” Tony denied.

“Yes, you did.” Steve crossed his arms and Tony gave a mental groan. It was those goddam arms. Thick tree-trunks of muscles that made his mouth water. Tony wanted to climb him like a tree. He could totally be Steve’s monke…

He clenched his fists. He had better self-control than this. “No, I didn’t.” There, he sounded calm.

Steve’s eyes went wide. “It’s me.”

Tony’s mind went into frantic rat mode. _Hide! Hide! Hide!_ “Why yes, Steven Rogers, it is you,” he quipped.

“You broke up with Pepper because of me.” Steve took a step towards Tony.

Tony scuttled back. “Ahahahahaha,” he shrilled. Not his finest response.

“Sir, your vitals are spiking,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. probably thought she was helping. He wanted to put a bullet through her artificial brain.

“I’m right,” Steve breathed. “You _love_ me.”

“Nope!” Tony skipped away from his reach. “I don’t. I hate you with the fire of a thousand su…mmmf.”

Steve kissed him.


	7. to them he is a mirror, but to you he is a room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky discovers them kissing. Awkward! And then a surprising confession. Tony has a heart to heart. The Avengers assemble for one of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still trying to wrap my brain around the surreal news that David Bowie has returned to his home planet. From Loving the Alien to As the World Falls Down, he was the single most important musical influence in my life. #RIPThinWhiteDuke

Tony stopped thinking.

Steve was kissing him like he meant it. A proper, swoony, romancing-the-fuck-out-of-you, kiss that made his knees weak and his heart stutter.

He grabbed onto Steve’s shoulders and held on as he opened his mouth. Steve immediately pressed in, his tongue soft and wet against Tony’s.

He felt Steve’s hand come up to cup the back of his head, holding him in place. He _really_ wasn’t planning on moving.

Steve shuffled closer, his body a hard, hot line against Tony’s. Something harder and hotter poked at Tony’s hip. He tilted his pelvis and pushed back. 

Steve actually whimpered. It was beautiful.

“Tony, I was looking for Steve.” Bucky’s voice had them springing apart, hurtling towards opposite ends of the workroom with embarrassing speed.

It was, of course, entirely apparent what they had been doing, what with the red lips, rapid breathing and misshapen pants. 

Tony wanted to die.

Or crow in triumph.

He was a petty, petty man.

“Well, well, well, Rogers, you finally got the balls to do it,” Bucky drawled.

Wait.

What?

Tony blinked. “Uh.”

“What does he call himself?” Bucky asked Steve. “Genius?” He slid laughing eyes over Tony’s astounded face. “You look pretty stupid right now, genius. Close your mouth.”

Tony snapped his jaw shut. “What the hell was that?” he squeaked. Growled. A manly growl of squeakiness. He was clearly going mad. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. I think I should get a CT scan. I must have hit my head because I think the Winter Soldier just gave Captain America his approval to kiss Iron Man.”

“That appears to be the case, sir,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. agreed. He missed J.A.R.V.I.S. so much at moments like this. J.A.R.V.I.S. would totally have played along.

“The boy scout has been pining for months, Stark,” Bucky told him.

Steve was bright red. “Shut up, Bucky,” he ordered.

“No denial,” Bucky observed with a grin.

“I’m swapping you for a new best friend,” Steve grumbled.

“Sure you are,” Bucky drawled. He stepped over to Steve. “Nobody else would put out like I do.”

Wait.

What?

Tony blinked again. “Uh.” 

His brain was definitely exploding, he thought. There was no actual way that Bucky Barnes had just outed his relationship with Steve after catching them kissing.

“You are really slow today,” Bucky noted, trailing his fingers down Steve’s back. “And spectacularly unobservant.”

One thing Tony had found out, _really_ quickly, about Bucky, was that he was a complete dick. It had been love at first sight. 

“You…Steve…uh…” Brain cells were clearly dribbling out of his ears. “What the fuck?”

Steve dropped his face into one big hand. “You’re such a jerk, Buck.” Even the tips of his ears were red, Tony noted.

Tony held up a finger. “Am I to understand that Captain America and the Winter Soldier have been schtupping in secret?”

Steve lifted his head to glare at him. “Nice.” His voice was flat.

“Oh no,” Tony wagged the same finger. “You do not get to act like you’re judging me.” He looked over at Bucky. “How long?” He knew that he’d get the bald truth from Bucky.

“About five minutes after he found me.” Bucky’s reply was prompt and succinct. 

“Bucky!” Steve’s eyes were wide with horror. “Shut the hell up.”

“You said ‘hell’,” Tony said. “Five dollars, please.” He held out his hand.

“What for?” Steve looked confused.

“I’m starting a swear jar for you, Cap. I think I may get rich.” Tony saw Bucky’s shoulders shaking and he grinned. “So, I wonder what the punishment is for the person who defiled a national treasure,” he mused.

“I get saddled with the treasure’s other boyfriend,” Bucky fired back.

Tony took a breath. “I wasn’t expecting this.” And he hadn’t been. All he’d come back for was a chance to save Steve. A chance to tell him how he felt. A chance to make better choices.

“I love him,” Bucky said, simple and devastating. “What makes him happy, makes me happy. You make him crazy, but also very happy.”

“ _He_ is standing right here,” Steve pointed out, tone dry as the Sahara.

Tony flapped a hand at him. “Hush you, we’re negotiating.” Tony was the best negotiator. “You were saying,” he prompted. Steve groaned and flopped down in Tony’s chair. DUM-E trundled over and offered a sympathetic claw. Steve took it.

“Steve wants you.” Bucky’s blue eyes were very clear, very sure. “He never thought he’d get the chance to have you though.”

“Why not?” Tony asked. “I’m very have-able.”

“That you are,” Bucky agreed. “But you were with Pepper. Happy with Pepper.”

“Oh,” Tony said. But in the future he hadn’t been, and Steve had still not made a move.

“That’s why we were fighting.” Bucky met Tony’s gaze. “I told him to man the fuck up and quickly, or you’d move on to someone new.”

Tony felt a little offended. “I was in love with Pepper. I wasn’t planning on getting a new bed-buddy overnight.”

Steve spoke up, “It’s why I never said anything. You seemed happy together.” He sighed. “I thought you’d realize you made a mistake and ask her to take you back. Buck told me to take my chance.”

“And so the two of you fought over my honor like mature men in mortal combat?” Tony preened. Steve glared at him. 

“I have no idea what he sees in you,” Bucky confessed.

“I am a fucking catch,” Tony declared. “Times magazine agrees.”

“I’m completely insane,” Steve said, rubbing his eyes. His mouth was still a little swollen from their kiss and Tony was easily distracted. “Bucky is bad enough, but adding you to the mix is like mixing fire and gasoline.” 

Tony refocused. “Adding?” Because they had been talking about Steve and Tony up until now. And Steve and Bucky. Steve and Tony _and_ Bucky. His mind went hazy for a moment. 

“Tony?” Bucky waved a hand in front of Tony’s face. “You in there?”

Tony blinked. “Adding?” he repeated. “I thought…”

“I’m not giving Steve up,” Bucky said. “Not now that I’ve finally got him. I’m just saying that I’m willing to share. If you’re interested.” He said it so simply, as though time-sharing a person was a thing that everyone did.

“This happen a lot in the war?” Tony asked Steve.

“Oh lord,” Steve groaned. “I am regretting _all_ of my life choices right now.”

Bucky grinned at him. “Babe, you know you’re already planning the logistics of it.”

Tony swung his head to stare at Steve. “Really?” He felt his heart give an excited little leap. Only a few days and already things were looking way better in this timeline.

“Shut up,” Steve muttered, but he didn’t deny it either.

Tony held up a hand. “So let me get this straight,” he said. “Heh, straight.”

“You’re a twelve year old in the body of an old man,” Steve told him.

Tony manfully resisted the urge to stick his tongue out. He reached for the _one_ mature bone in his body. “You want me to join you and Bucky in a relationship that would involve the three of us. Together. As a threesome. Together?” Saying it out loud made it even less believable.

Steve met his gaze. “If you wanted to, we’d be very happy.” His eyes were clear. “But if you don’t then we’d understand and there would be no hard feelings.” He sounded as though he choked on the words.

“Firstly, that’s a big, fat lie,” Tony told him. “You’d be all sad-eyed Capsicle and his miserable one-armed mercenary.” He heard Bucky stifle a laugh. “Secondly, I’d be an utter moron to say no, and we all know that I’m no moron.”

Steve looked abruptly hopeful. It was honestly like the goddamn sun had risen. “So, that’s a yes?”

Tony snorted. “That’s a fucking **hell, yes**!” He wasn’t sure which god he’d pleased in an earlier life, but he was going to thank Thor anyway.

Bucky and Steve exchanged a look. Again with the eyebrows. Tony was going to have to learn this language. “Are you sure?” Steve asked. “Bucky gets a little possessive.”

Bucky rolled his eyes hard enough that it looked like it hurt. “Stevie here likes to cuddle at night.” Steve glared at him. “He’s like an unshakeable octopus. I reckon he thinks I’m going to leave him while he’s sleeping.”

Tony snickered. “Captain America, epic cuddler. I can see it.”

Steve turned his glare to Tony. “I’ve changed my mind. You’re _way_ too high maintenance.”

Tony grinned at him. “Can I call you ‘my boo’?” he asked. “Or pookie bear? Or wait, this one is better, love muffin.”

Bucky shook with laughter. “God knows, life isn’t boring with you around, Stark.”

Steve sighed. “So many regrets, _so_ many.” But he was smiling at Tony, blue eyes sparkling with joy.

Right then, Tony knew that he’d do whatever he had to so that Steve Rogers remained on the earth. Even if it meant having to burn the whole world down.

~o0o~

When they headed to the communal living room, Tony saw Natasha and Bruce leaning against each other as they looked at something on the tablet in Bruce’s hand. They were laughing at whatever it was.

Sam and Rhodey were playing an aggressive game of “Go Fish”, with Thor offering unhelpful assistance. The air was blue with extremely creative cursing, some of it from Thor.

Vision was nowhere to be seen. His usual companion, Wanda, was curled up in a large recliner with a book. Her eyes were closed.

Clint stood on the huge courtyard, hands in his pockets as he stared out at the city. Steve took a step towards him. Tony put a hand on his arm. “Let me,” he said.

Clint didn’t turn at the sound of the sliding door opening and closing. “They all in there worrying about me?” he asked, his back still to Tony.

“They’re your friends, of course they’re worried,” Tony said, coming up beside him.

“Didn’t think they’d be sending you to check up on me,” Clint confessed. “You’re usually the one they have to send someone to apologize for.”

“Hey!” Tony’s protest was mild as he bumped Clint’s shoulder. “I’m a gift.”

Clint’s mouth curled up at the corner. “You’re something alright.” He looked at Tony. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not,” Tony said. “And not one of us thinks you should be.”

Clint lifted an eyebrow. “That’s a new tactic,” he noted. “Most everyone else has been telling me that time heals all fucking wounds.”

Tony shrugged, leaning one hip against the thick glass wall surrounding the platform. “It still hurts when I think about my parents.” He looked out at the cityscape. “And finding out that Bucky was the one…” 

“I don’t know how you do it,” Clint told him. “I want to eviscerate Rumlow, make him suffer as much as I can.”

Tony nodded. “I get that, I do.” He sighed. “Just remember that Bucky was brainwashed. So is Rumlow. You’ve known him longer than I have and he was a good man.”

Clint’s headshake was short and vicious. “It was a choice he made. Rumlow, I mean. He wasn’t brainwashed like Bucky was.”

Tony stared at him. “How do you figure that?” He was genuinely curious.

“Heil Hydra,” Clint whispered. “That’s what he told me when he called me so that I could listen to my family’s execution.”

“God, Clint.” Tony’s chest hurt. “I didn’t know.” And he hadn’t known. Not even in the future. Things were already unraveling.

“You’re the only one I’ve told,” Clint said, throat sounding closed. “Not even Nat.”

Tony didn’t have a word to say. So he just stood there with Clint, shoulder to shoulder in silence as they watched the world bustle below them.

Sometimes silence was the only reply to a question that had no answer.

~o0o~

Tony didn’t know for how long they were out there. He was abruptly aware of the chill in the air. He shivered. “We should head inside,” he suggested. “The sun’s going to be setting in a minute.”

“I’m going to stay out here for a bit,” Clint said. He turned his gaze to Tony. “Thanks.”

“Any time,” Tony assured him, clasping his shoulder. “Whatever you need.”

He stepped into the living area and everyone looked at him. “He’ll come in soon,” he told them. He wasn’t going to share what Clint had told him. That was Barton’s secret to tell.

“Is he…?” Natasha asked, eyes worried as she stepped towards him.

“Angry,” Tony said. “Coping.” 

She nodded. “Thank you.”

He wasn’t comfortable with gratitude. It made him squirrelly. “I didn’t do anything.”

She flicked his ear. “Don’t do that.” Her tone was fond. “You’re exactly what he needed. The rest of us have been hovering.”

Tony looked over to Steve and Bucky. They were watching him intently. It was a little unnerving. He wanted to go to them, to burrow into the heat of Steve’s body, but this was all still new and he wasn’t sure of his boundaries.

Steve held out a hand, taking the decision away from Tony. It was embarrassing how quickly he scurried over to them, almost throwing himself into the small space between them. 

“You okay?” Steve asked softly. Tony nodded into his shoulder. Bucky ran a comforting hand down Tony’s back. It was still surreal that they were this, that they could _be_ this. He could practically feel every eye on them.

“Jeez, I step outside for some fresh air and come back to a threesome.” Clint’s laconic drawl had Tony smiling. 

He settled in a little closer. “You’ll always be my favorite bowman,” he crooned.

Clint shook his head. “How do you make everything you say sound filthy?”

Tony’s smile widened. “Because pretty much everything I say has a filthy thought behind it,” he said.

Steve pinched him. “Stop it,” he said.

Clint went to sit by Natasha and Bruce. “Now that we’re together, I have a request.” Because it was Clint, because of what he was going through, Tony reckoned they’d do almost anything to help.

“Name it,” Steve stated, confirming Tony’s thoughts.

“Rumlow. I want him dead.” Clint’s mouth was tight.

“Why?” Steve asked. He didn’t say no.

Clint met Tony’s gaze and nodded. “Because that sick son of a bitch called Barton and made him listen to him murdering his family.” Clint closed his eyes as Tony spoke.

There was a moment of shocked silence as they all took a breath. Natasha’s eyes went glassy. 

“Okay,” Steve said. “We’ve got your back.”

Clint nodded, eyes still closed. “Thank you,” he said, voice hoarse and thick with tears.

Tony lowered his gaze to his hands. Bucky and Steve were holding onto him as though he was a center that would prevent them from flying apart. He wasn’t going to be the one to make that come true.

“Okay,” he agreed.

“He’s a dead man walking, he just doesn’t know it,” Natasha snarled. 

Tony was very on board with this plan. If they killed or captured Rumlow now, then he wouldn’t be around to pull the trigger and assassinate Steve. His breath quickened just thinking about it. 

That _wasn’t_ going to happen. Not this time.


	8. someone is digging your grave right now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Bucky have a long-overdue conversation. Tony makes his appointment, along with a couple of friends

Tony left the team to discuss their strategy. He had an appointment to keep.

He showered quickly and selected a charcoal grey suit with a white shirt and scarlet tie. He was tucking the shirt in when the door opened and Bucky slipped in.

“Hey,” Tony greeted him, turning away to grab the tie, looping it over his neck.

Bucky pushed his hands away and started the classic knot Tony liked. “So, Barton wants Rumlow dead?” he asked, concentrating on Tony’s tie. He carefully kept his gaze lowered.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “I mean, he slaughtered Laura and the kids. I’m surprised Clint didn’t ask earlier.” Clint had never asked. Not in Tony’s timeline. And perhaps that had been the tipping point for the Avengers. Why they’d fallen apart so easily when the SRA had come up.

Bucky stopped moving. “Do you ever…?” Tony heard hesitation and fear in his voice. “I mean, about me? Do you ever feel that way?”

Tony wanted to be sick. He grabbed Bucky’s face in his hands, forcing his eyes up. “Never.” He met Bucky’s anguished gaze. “ _Never_ , Buck, swear to god.”

Bucky’s eyes closed and he let out a breath Tony hadn’t realized he was holding. “Okay,” he said. “That’s good.”

Tony held onto him. “Every single goddamn thing you did as Hydra’s puppet was not your fault.” He waited for Bucky to open his eyes again. “You know that, right?”

Bucky shrugged one shoulder. He hadn’t moved away, his hands still holding onto either end of Tony’s tie. “In my head, sure,” he said. “But in my heart, I want to kill myself when I think about the things I did.” He was so much more honest than Tony could ever hope to be.

“What Rumlow did to Clint’s family, is _nothing_ like what you did to my parents,” Tony insisted. He know that was where this was coming from. 

When Bucky had realized that _he_ was the one who’d pulled the trigger and killed Howard and Maria Stark, he’d run. This time they’d all chased him down. The combined determination of all of the Avengers had resulted in him being found a lot faster the second time around. 

Knowing now what he knew about Steve and Bucky’s relationship, things made a whole lot more sense. Steve had been distraught. It had taken Bruce dressed up in his big green muscle machine to keep Steve back while Thor and Tony went after Bucky.

“I killed your parents, Tony.” Bucky shook his head. “And you’ve never said anything.” His knuckles were white against the red of Tony’s tie.

“There was nothing to say,” Tony replied, eyes still intent on Bucky’s face. “You know I don’t blame you. I’ve _never_ blamed you, Buck. If I did, I’d have left you to freeze to death in that god-forsaken jail in Siberia.”

Bucky’s breath was less shaky this time. Maybe he was starting to believe Tony. 

“We should possibly have had this conversation right after we found you,” Tony said, lifting one hand to push several long strands of hair out of Bucky’s face. “I really can't stand thinking about you having this on your heart all this time.”

“I don’t want you to hate me. It’s not just Steve who’s crazy about you,” Bucky confessed, none of the familiar cock-sure attitude in his face. This was the real Bucky, the guy that Steve had been willing to give up his life to save.

“I have a lot of admirers,” Tony said with a smile. “You’ll need to be more specific.”

Bucky’s eyes were finally clear of that sorrow. “You’re a special snowflake, Stark.” His mouth quirked a little.

Tony moved a little closer. “You have no idea just how special I am,” he murmured against Bucky’s lips. It was their first kiss. Bucky was so careful, so tender. Unexpectedly so.

He held Tony in his arms like something precious, something to be treasured. Tony dug a hand into Bucky’s hair, rolling his hips a little. Letting him know that he wouldn’t break. Bucky moaned into his mouth, kissed him with a little less finesse, a little more desperation.

Tony liked kissing. It had always felt the most intimate of sensual behavior. Fucking was what animals did, kissing was for humans. He opened his mouth, let his tongue trace Bucky’s teeth and then tangle with Bucky’s tongue. 

“Jeez, you guys should get a room or something.” Steve sounded amused. 

Tony flipped him off without moving his mouth from Bucky’s. 

“While I’d be pretty happy to watch this for the next hundred years or so, your robot lady butler told me to remind you about your appointment.” Steve was trying to annoy Tony it seemed.

Tony pulled back with a reluctant pop of lips. “You know how much it pisses me off that you call my incredibly high-tech artificial intelligence a robot butler, don’t you?”

Steve beamed at him. “Why do you think I do it?”

“Between you and Bruce, you’ve got the whole world fooled into believing that you’re nice guys.” Tony shook his head and took over the knotting of his tie.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked.

Steve’s eyes were narrowed as he stared at Tony. “You said you didn’t want to go to this meeting,” he reminded Tony.

“I have to,” Tony grumbled. “Even if it’s just to get the bastard off the scent.”

“What scent?” Steve asked.

Tony shook his head. “Nothing, if I have anything to do about it.” He picked up his jacket. “Let’s hope this doesn’t take too long.”

“You want some company?” Steve hadn’t moved from the doorway.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Truthfully, he hates superhumans. His daughter died as a result of a fight with Banner and another of Hydra’s experiments. Me, he tolerates because he knows that my real superpower is my brain.”

“Where are you going?” Bucky repeated, looking between them.

“I’ve apparently set up a meeting with someone who I really don’t like.” Tony grimaced at the mirror.

“Why?” Bucky asked.

“That’s the billion dollar question,” Tony said. He sighed. “I can’t talk about it just yet.”

“Secrets already?” Steve’s mouth thinned. “Not a great start, Tony.”

“How about giving me the fucking benefit of the doubt,” Tony snapped back. “If the meeting doesn’t go well, then believe me, I will fill you all in.”

Bucky stepped between them. “Who are you going to see?” he asked, back to Steve.

“The Secretary of State,” Tony answered. “He called for a meeting about something he has in the pipeline. I’m going to try to head him off at the pass.”

He looked at Steve. “How about this, when it’s done, regardless of the outcome, I’ll tell you about it?” It was as good a compromise as he was willing to give.

Steve met his gaze. “You’ll tell me everything?” He sounded skeptical.

“Everything about the meeting.” Tony knew that it was only semantics, but the bases still needed to be covered.

Steve’s mouth twisting told Tony that the rewording had not escaped him. 

“Sir, Happy has the car waiting for you.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. broke into their stare-off.

“Thanks,” he said, sweeping past Steve and Bucky. “I’ll see you later.”

~o0o~

When Happy stopped outside the huge brownstone house, Tony let out a breath. “You sure about this, Mr. S?”

Just then a cab pulled up and Reed Richards climbed out. “Fuck.” Tony rubbed his eyes. “Thanks Hap, I’m not sure how long I’ll be.”

“You just call me when you’re done,” Happy assured him. “If I’m not out front when you come out, then wait, okay?”

Happy had become a lot more paranoid since the Extremis situation. “Sure,” Tony said, pushing the door open. He’d forgotten that there had been others in this original meeting with Ross. “Richards.” He didn’t offer his hand.

Neither did Richards. “Stark.” He was just as abrupt. “Do you know what this is about?”

“It has something to do with a registration act.” Charles Xavier’s smooth voice had them turning to him. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else.”

Tony snorted. “Birds and stones, Charles.”

Xavier nodded. “It makes sense, to sell it to us first and then for us to pass it on.”

“He’s a sneaky son of a bitch.” Tony didn’t want to admire him, but it took serious balls to approach the leaders of three of the world’s superhuman teams and expect them to show up.

“What are you talking about?” Richards asked. 

Tony wanted to sneer at him. He had a ridiculously petty and childish reaction to Reed Richards. It possibly had something to do with the fact that Richards was a certified genius and was almost as prolific with his inventions as Tony was. 

Almost.

“I believe that the world is about to change,” Xavier said, wheeling to the front door where an impassive doorman stood. Tony and Richards followed his lead. “And not for the better.”

~o0o~

Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross was a tall, imposing man. If Tony was the easily awed sort, he’d have been intimidated. Because he was Tony Stark…not so much.

“Sir,” Reed Richards was the first to hold out his hand. Tony saw the slight hesitation before Ross took it.

“Doctor Richards,” he nodded. “Professor Xavier, Mr. Stark,” he tipped his head to them but didn’t offer his hand. Still the same asshole then, Tony thought. “Thank you for taking this meeting.”

Trailed by two brawny guys in suits and dark glasses, he led them to a small lounge area and indicated that they sit. “Can I get you something to drink? I have an excellent Bruichladdich that has been waiting for the right occasion.” Tony could tell that he was offering out of politeness, not any desire to make them feel comfortable. 

He watched the muscle take up a position on either side of the door. Clearly covering the exits.

“No, thank you,” Xavier shook his head. Richards also refused.

“Sure,” Tony said. “I like a good, peaty single malt.” Again, just that imperceptible flinch that had Tony thinking the bottle would be binned as soon as they left.

Ross poured the glasses himself, careful not to touch Tony as he handed it over. “Cheers,” he said, tilting his glass.

Tony lifted his glass as well, taking a tiny sip for appearances. 

“I’m sure we can dispense with pleasantries,” Xavier said in his cool British way. “We are all aware of how very little you approve of mutants and superhumans.” 

Tony was impressed. The professor was usually the tactful sort, careful with his words and actions.

Ross put his glass down. “I’ve called you here to discuss the SRA,” he announced without preamble.

“SRA?” Reed frowned. “I don’t believe I’ve heard of it.”

“Superhuman Registration Act,” Tony supplied helpfully, enjoying the quickly hidden surprise in Ross’ eyes. “Our friend over here is trying to form a governing body to regulate us crazy superhero types.”

“What?” Reed looked shocked. “Why?”

Ross sat down, back straight. “There has been some concern,” he began. “The past few years have seen a significant amount of damage and death as a direct result of the so-called superhumans operating within various teams on earth.” He spoke stiffly. He sounded rehearsed. “There has been public pressure for accountability following those events.”

“Public pressure?” Xavier’s tone was dry. “You mean you’re only too happy to listen to the few voices of dissent among the millions of grateful.” Tony had always liked Charles.

“I mean that the changing political landscape shows that it is only reasonable for all ‘super’ heroes to have proper training and oversight,” Ross corrected. “It just makes sense to know who to call, and _how_ to call them in the event of an emergency.”

“What about their privacy?” Tony asked. “Some of them have families.” He met Ross’ gaze. “Some even have children.”

Ross looked away. “If they are out there, in the public eye, then they are inviting…”

“Death?” Tony bit out. “Anyone think to tell Laura Barton that?”

Xavier put a hand on Tony’s forearm. “Tony.” That calm voice had Tony step back. He hadn’t realized he’d stepped right up into Ross’ space. He saw the bodyguards tensing up out of the corner of his eye. 

“What have you armed them with to handle us?” he asked Ross. He hadn’t come unprepared either.

“I didn’t think there would be any need,” Ross said, but the slide of his eyes towards the burly men gave him away.

“No.” Richards’s hands shot out, arms elongating so that they whipped around the bodies of the men who were already reaching into their jackets. “Stay.”

Tony appreciated the tone. He turned back to Ross who got to his feet. “Now, why would you feel the need to arm your bodyguards with weapons clearly intended to hurt us?” he mused.

“I didn’t intend to hurt you at all.” Ross backed up as Xavier rolled forward. “Stay back.” His eyes were hunted, suddenly nothing of the stoic military man in his gaze.

“He’s terrified of us,” Richards said. He squeezed just hard enough that Ross’ two goons passed out. Tony watched in fascination as his arms retracted again.

“We may not be buddies, but damn if that isn’t one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen,” he told him.

Richards grimaced. “Damned by faint praise indeed.”

Tony looked back at Xavier. Ross was frozen in place, absolute fear in his face. “Get out of my brain, you fucking freak!” Ross shouted, hands clawed out and reaching for Xavier.

“Nuh-uh.” Tony watched as Richards grabbed at Ross’ arms. “Play nice, Mr. Secretary.”

“That just sounds dirty,” Tony observed.

Richards shot him a look. “That’s because your mind is a cesspool.”

“Gentlemen.” Xavier’s quiet remonstration had them flush like chastened children. 

“Let me go,” Ross growled, every inch the cornered animal.

“Not until you answer a few questions for us,” Xavier said. “Reed, please help Secretary Ross to a seat.”

Tony grinned, mentally rubbing his palms together. This scenario had never been part of that original meeting. 

Things were about to take another step into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was unexpected :D Hello Professor!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me.


	9. hand of the emperor, arm of the empire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony helps Ross to see the light. Xavier suspects something. Just one more stop, Steve....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken an interesting turn. Thanks for hanging with me :D

Ross was furious. “I’ll make you regret this,” he swore.

“Have you noticed how all the villains say the same thing?” Tony asked Richards curiously. “They’re all ‘grr, argh, you will pay’, and then nada. All style and zero substance.”

Richards tried to hide his smile.

Xavier sighed. “When you’re quite finished, Tony.”

“Don’t front, Prof,” Tony said, wagging a finger at him. “Your psychotic magnetic boyfriend has told me what a pain in the ass you were in your wild youth.”

Xavier looked pained. “I have no idea why Nick Fury ever thought you were mature enough to be an Avenger.”

“It was always all about the money, Charlie boy.” Tony rubbed his thumb and forefinger together. “Mine, specifically.”

Richards shook his head. “There is not enough money in the world to induce me to add you to my team.”

Tony made a disparaging sound. “As if I’d join you even if you asked.”

“Boys.” Xavier glared at them both. “Can we please focus on the task at hand?”

“Sorry, Professor.” Reed appeared suitably chastised. 

Tony just sat back in one of the excruciatingly uncomfortable chairs and took a sip of his whiskey. “Go on,” he waved his glass. “I’ll jump in when I see fit.”

Xavier heaved another sigh. “Very well.” He looked at Ross who was watching them with defiance. “Do you understand why none of us will ever support this Bill?”

Ross struggled against the hold Richards had on him. “You’re proving the necessity of the Bill by your actions right now,” he snarled.

Xavier nodded to Richards. “You can let him go. I’ve got him.”

It never failed to amaze Tony that all it took to immobilize someone was the power of Xavier’s mind. Richards moved away, still keeping within grabbing distance of Ross. Tony approved. He’d always been a slippery sonofabitch.

“Secretary Ross, we are not going to hurt you,” Xavier told him. “We would just like some answers.”

Tony put up a hand when Ross remained stubbornly silent. “Allow me?” he asked, not taking his eyes from Ross.

Xavier waved a hand. “I’d prefer not to rummage around in his head,” he admitted. “It is very tiring on someone who is intent on keeping me out.” 

Ross went pale, one hand clenching into a fist. “I’m the US Secretary of State,” he declared. “You cannot hold me hostage!”

“Oh, we’re not in a hostage situation,” Tony assured him. “We’re merely a group of businessmen discussing the future of our wondrous land.”

“I remember that once upon a time, people were made to register themselves, based on race, religion, color and creed.” Xavier’s voice was almost dreamy. “That didn’t work out so well for everyone concerned.”

Tony shuddered. He’d been so eager to make amends for Ultron that he hadn’t seen the similarities. “We can’t let it happen,” he said, his throat very dry.

“We won’t,” Xavier said, steel suddenly in every word. He stared at Ross. “Who else is part of this?”

Ross shook his head. “I’m not telling you anything.”

Tony knew though. He’d signed on for the whole thing. He could name each and every person who was involved in pushing the SRA into law. He knew who those were in other countries. Those who, once America had taken the first step had followed suit. 

“I can give you names,” Tony offered. “As long as you don’t ask where or how I know.” Bruce knowing about his little Back to the Future trip was already asking for trouble.

“Why should we believe you?” Richards asked. “You’ve never trusted us before.”

Tony turned his head to look at hm. “Because if you _don’t_ believe me, in a couple of years we’ll tear each other apart and not one of our teams will be unaffected.” He put his glass down. “We may not be friends, Reed, but we need to be allies. We need to make sure that the SRA is _never_ passed.”

Ross stared at him, mouth agape. “You don’t know anything,” he whispered. “You can’t.”

Tony met his gaze, allowed him to see the simmering rage in his eyes. “Secretary Ross, there is nothing in the world that spurs me on harder than someone telling me I can’t do something.” He leaned forward, hands clasped loosely between his knees. “Trust me when I say, I would rather use every penny I have to stop you, than allow the SRA to happen.”

“I don’t understand,” Ross said. “It’s barely a thought yet, hardly an idea.” He seemed to be talking to himself.

“Fear makes people do terrible things,” Xavier said. “And because we are so different, you fear us.” He sighed. “No matter what we do to save you, you will always be afraid.”

“The mutants are abominations,” Ross hissed. “Freaks of nature that need to be leashed.” 

“Stop talking,” Tony gritted. “Let me be perfectly clear. Whatever you’re planning, whoever you’re talking to, wherever you’re taking this, it won’t happen. Not under my watch.” The guilt was almost crippling. Now that he could see it for what it was, Tony couldn’t bear the thought that he’d supported the SRA in any way.

“You can’t stop it,” Ross stated. 

“We just managed to get rid of Hydra,” Tony said. “We’re not going to exchange it for another version of the Aryan race. Humans aren’t the superior species anymore.”

“ _You’re_ human,” Ross said. “I thought that you of all people would understand the need to regulate these creatures that exist among us.”

Tony narrowed his gaze, holding up a hand when Richards would have stepped forward. “Many of _these creatures_ happen to be my friends.” 

“Then you need to be policed like they should be.” Ross sounded so fucking sure of himself. It made Tony want to hurl. 

“How about no?” Tony asked. “I’ve risked one hell of a lot to be here, to make sure that the SRA never comes into existence.”

Xavier was staring at him with all-too discerning eyes. “You know something,” he said. “More than you’re saying.”

Tony nodded, not taking his eyes off Ross. “I do. And I’m not going to say anymore.” He shook his head as Richards opened his mouth. “I _can’t_.”

Xavier clasped his hands. “I’ve known you for most of your life, Tony,” he mused. “And while you’ve been wild, you’ve never been dishonest.” 

Tony held his breath.

“Reed, I think we should give Tony the benefit of the doubt,” Xavier said after a moment. “I trust him.”

“I _don’t_ ,” Richards said. “No offense, Stark, but you’re a loose cannon.”

Tony shrugged. “None taken, I don’t have the best track record.” And wasn’t this a shit-storm of his own making?

“Do you trust _me_?” Xavier asked Richards.

“Of course,” was the prompt reply.

“Then somehow, we have to do as Tony says and ensure that the SRA never sees the light of day.” Xavier stated it plainly enough that there would be no argument.

Tony felt every muscle in his body relax in relief. “Thanks, Charles.”

Richards looked like he wanted to argue, but whatever he saw in Xavier’s eyes shut him up. “So what do we do?” he asked instead.

Tony watched Ross’ eyes moving from side to side, searching out an avenue of escape. “The way I see it, you have two choices,” he told Ross.

That ice-cold gaze snapped back to his. “What?” 

“You can give up the idea of the SRA right now, forget it ever existed and tell all of your friends that it’s dead in the water.” Tony paused.

“Or?” Ross was wise to sound doubtful.

“Or I can get one of my friends to remove it from your mind forcibly.” Tony didn’t dare look at Xavier and Richards. Neither of them were the sort to make threats. Tony knew that sometimes, however, the only way to fight violence or hatred was with violence and hatred.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Ross breathed, his face paper-white.

“I would dare a whole hell of a lot for the people I care about,” Tony said. “Right now, you’re the only obstacle to making sure they’re all safe.”

“Tony.” His name in Xavier’s mellifluous voice was a command. “There is always another way.”

Tony shook his head. “Believe me, if I thought there was any other way, I’d take it.” He made a move towards Ross, noting the recoil away from him. “What’s it going to be, Mr. Secretary?”

“This is treason,” Ross told them. He looked over to Xavier. “You’ll let this happen?” he asked.

“You’re asking me to defend you when you want my friends to be registered like the Nazis registered the Jews?” Xavier’s tone was disgusted. “Short of killing you, I’m not sure I’d stop Tony.”

Ross flinched again, this time it seemed directed inward. “That wasn’t what I intended it to be.”

“I’ll give you two days,” Tony said. “I suggest you don’t go running to those friends of yours in Colombia or Iran.” He saw Ross’ eyes widen. “Yeah, I know all about them.” He felt filthy. “They won’t be able to protect you.”

“What do you expect me to do?” Ross asked. “Things are in motion that cannot be undone.”

“Stop trying to sound more important than you are,” Tony snapped. “Just think of me as your resident psychic. I know every move you’re going to make before you make it. So, make things easier on everyone and especially on yourself, just do as I ask and everything will be fine.” Suddenly Tony was exhausted.

“It’s not like that,” Ross said to Xavier. “I’m not Hitler. I’m not a monster.” He seemed sincere. Tony wasn’t sure he should give him the benefit of the doubt.

“I’m sure that’s what he thought when he wrote Mein Kampf,” Xavier replied. “And yet that is not how history remembers him.”

Ross rubbed a hand over his eyes. “My daughter died because one of your kind didn’t do his job.”

Tony sighed. “Nobody regrets what happened more than Bruce.” He met Ross’ gaze, saw the anguish of a father who wanted to avenge his child. “He would never have hurt her. And she would never have wanted you to hurt him.”

Ross gave a brittle nod. “She loved him.”

Tony felt his mouth curve in a sad smile. “Yeah, she did.” He pushed himself to his feet. “And he loved her very much too.”

“There haven’t been any incidents since Sokovia,” Ross noted, almost absently.

“We’ve been working on the issue of collateral damage,” Tony said. “The Other Guy has a better handle on his temper.”

Ross stood too. “Two days?”

Tony held out his hand. “Don’t make me regret giving you this time to sort your shit out,” he said. “Betty always said you were the best dad. Mine wasn’t that great. Honor her memory.”

Ross took it. “I’ll call you when it’s done.” They shook hands, eyes meeting. “I meant to protect humanity.”

“I believe if we all sat down around a table, we could come up with something that would work for everyone,” Richards said.

“You could set that up,” Tony said. “I’d be there. Cap too.”

“As would I,” Xavier said.

Ross nodded. “I think I’d accept that,” he said. 

“Good talk,” Tony said, spinning on his heel and walking out without waiting for the other two.

~o0o~

Happy jumped out of the car when he spotted Tony. “Boss?” He sounded worried.

“Let me in,” Tony rasped, his body starting to shake. He heard Xavier call out but motioned for Happy to close the door and lock it.

“You look like crap,” Happy said bluntly.

“Thank you, Tyra Banks,” Tony bit back. “Shut up and drive.” He closed his eyes as he leaned back against the soft leather.

He clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. It was over. Surely? If Ross hadn’t been so gung ho about the SRA, then Congress would never have voted it into being in the first place.

“You need a drink?” Happy asked, ignoring his order. “You look like you need a drink.”

Tony shook his head. “I’m fine,” he muttered. “Didn’t think it would be that intense.”

“What?” Happy probed. “And what were Professor Mind-reader and Doctor Elastic doing there?”

“Avoiding a war,” Tony said, shivering as reaction set in. He’d just gambled with all of their futures.

“What?” Happy yelped. “What the fuck?”

Tony waved a hand. “Doesn’t matter. Stopped it.” He hoped. 

His phone rang. The caller ID flashed _O Captain, my Captain_. “Hey,” he said when he answered it. “You miss me?” He was too tired to even try to sound flirtatious.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked, immediately concerned.

Tony sat up straight. “Nothing,” he said. “Why would you think anything was wrong?”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. suggested that I call you,” Steve said.

“Goddamit,” Tony snarled. “I swear I’m going to reprogram that AI so that all she can do is toast bread and brew coffee.”

“She was worried about you,” Steve told him. “And listening to how shaky you sound, I’m worried too.”

“I’ll tell you everything when I get back to the tower,” Tony assured him. “I’ve just got one more stop to make before I come home.”

“Another secret meeting?” Steve asked, something bitter in his tone.

Tony counted to ten silently. “Actually, I’m going to see Nick Fury,” he said.

“Director Fury?” Steve sounded surprised. 

“ _Former_ Director Fury,” Tony corrected. “And yes, the very one.”

“Why?” Steve asked.

Tony sighed. “I need to ask him about someone,” he said. “And that’s all I’m going to say about it.”

Steve’s silence was heavy with disapproval. “So it is another secret?”

“This one isn’t mine to tell,” Tony said. “I’ll talk to you later.” He ended the call abruptly.

Happy met his eyes in the rear-view mirror. “So, we’re going to the Director’s house?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Tony said, rubbing a hand across his eyes. “Onward, McDuff.” He searched for Fury’s number in his phone and dialed it.

Happy rolled his eyes, but obeyed, setting course for the small brownstone in Queens that Nick Fury had ‘retired’ to.

“What do you want, Stark and how much is it going to cost?” Fury didn’t bother with a greeting.

“Hello to you too, Nicholas,” Tony said, pressing the button that would seal his part of the car off. He didn’t want anyone listening in on this conversation.

“Skip the making nice,” Fury said. “You never make social calls.”

Tony snorted. “So much for being polite.”

“Your little troupe of bandits is back under your roof,” Fury said. “You’ve managed to piss of the US Secretary of State. And now you’re calling me. Forgive me if I’m twitchy.”

“How the hell..?” Tony wanted to do an immediate bug sweep. 

“I may be retired, but I’m still in the damn game,” Fury snapped.

“You’re Lucifer,” Tony decided. “There’s no other explanation.”

“Get to the point.” Tony heard the amused smirk in Fury’s voice. Not that the asshole would ever let him see it.

“I believe you have something that belongs to us,” Tony said, trying for subtlety. 

“Have you been in Thor’s mead again?” Fury asked. “I have nothing to do with the Avengers Initiative.”

“This is from before,” Tony said.

“Quit the pussyfooting,” Fury griped.

Tony decided that subtlety have never been his strong suit anyway. “I want you to give Phil Coulson back.”


	10. your world doesn’t make sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets Fury to make a promise. Oh lord not another weird object. Clint phones a friend(s)

Fury’s silence was answer enough. 

“Aha!” Tony crowed. “I fucking knew it!” He punched the air with a fist. “You cagey bastard! You totally used Agent to make us work together.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Fury said flatly.

“Hey, Cyclops, I can spot a lie at twenty paces. You’re not even trying.” Tony waited.

“Don’t come here,” Fury said.

“Too late, I’m on my way.” Tony peered out of the tinted window to determine where they were. “We’re about ten minutes out.”

“ _We_?” Fury asked.

“Happy’s driving,” Tony explained.

“I’m not at home,” Fury said.

“Still coming,” Tony sang.

“I’ll drop by the tower later,” Fury said. “Now’s not a good time.”

Tony paused. “No bullshit?” he asked.

Fury sighed. “No bullshit.”

Tony opened the partition. “We can head back home, Hap.” He ended the call without saying another word.

“The big guy not playing nice?” Happy asked.

“Oh, he’s playing nice,” Tony said. “That’s what’s scary.”

~o0o~

When Tony got off at the floor of the living area, he was surprised to find Bruce and Thor staring at something that looked like a really ugly crown. “What’s up, buttercups?” he asked as he strolled nearer. 

It looked like there were several snakes entwined around each other. Each snake’s head had different colored eyes. It gave Tony the heebie-jeebies, alternating with ‘ooh, shiny!’

It was also something entirely new. Another hiccup in the timeline thanks to his little detour. He wondered just how the universe was going to redress the balance. Because at the very least, that’s what it would do.

“Thor said that Jane found this out at White Sands,” Bruce explained. “We’re trying to figure out what it is.”

Tony tipped his head to the side. “Somebody’s unwanted Mother’s Day gift?” he suggested.

“It’s at least a couple of thousand years old,” Bruce said, fixing Tony with a glare.

“Fine, somebody’s unwanted Spring Equinox gift?” Tony grinned when Bruce groaned, dropping his forehead onto the table. “Seriously, though, any ideas?”

Thor frowned. “I must admit my puzzlement grows,” he said. “It appears to be an unassuming piece of jewelry.”

“But?” Tony prompted.

“But I sense much power within,” Thor said. He seemed reluctant to touch it.

“The markings seem to be almost Egyptian,” Bruce noted.

“Now, I’m no historian,” Tony said, “But I’ve not heard of Egyptian artifacts being discovered on American soil before.”

Bruce shook his head. “No, there hasn’t been any record, which makes it even more fascinating.”

Tony let his eyes go wide. “Do you think that means that Stargate is real?” He loved winding up the ‘serious’ scientist.

Bruce gave him another unimpressed look. “You really need to keep fact separated from fiction, Tony.”

Tony waved a hand at Thor. “Excuse you, fiction sitting right here as fact.” Thor beamed at him.

Bruce sighed. “You are very tiring.”

Tony reached out a finger to touch the object. “Don’t,” Thor barked, grabbing Tony’s wrist. “We don’t know its origins.”

“Jane touched it,” Tony pointed out, only a little petulantly. 

“She was very careful not to let her skin come into contact with it,” Thor said, still holding Tony’s arm.

“It is the Serpent Crown,” Wanda announced as she came into the room with Vision at her heels.

“The what?” Tony asked.

“The demon god Set is the original owner of this piece of wickedness,” Wanda stated, staring down at the crown.

“And surprising exactly nobody, the Avengers get their hands on it,” Tony muttered.

“So it’s another magical thingamajig that we don’t really understand,” Bruce said. “I’m getting a send of déjà vu here people.”

“I understand it,” Wanda said, eyes glowing crimson. “It should be destroyed.”

“Or we could hand it over to the new S.H.I.E.L.D. honchos and let them deal with it,” Tony suggested.

“No mortal can fight the power of Set,” Wanda told him. “I suggest that you grind it to dust and scatter it to the four corners of the earth.”

“Yeah, I doubt Jane Foster and her crew would be very impressed with me if I destroyed a priceless artifact,” Tony said with a twist of his mouth. 

“I think we should all agree to avoid angering Darcy and her Taser,” Bruce agreed.

“Perhaps she would understand if we told her of its evil?” Thor sounded doubtful. Tony resolutely refused to think of him as a golden retriever, thanks Bucky, you asshole.

“We only have Wanda’s word that it’s evil though,” Bruce pointed out.

“I do not lie!” Wanda propped her hands on her hips. “The crown has spoken to me!” She looked as though she wanted to do some smiting. Bruce went an interesting minty shade. Tony shot off a message to Natasha. She needed to get here before things got ugly and green.

Tony started Googling ‘serpent crown’ while Bruce and Wanda had their stand-off. Sometimes he thought that Bruce just liked being contrary.

“What’s going on?” Clint and Natasha got off the elevator and headed towards them.

“Freaky object,” Tony explained with a wave of his hand, eyes still on his phone. “No touchy.”

“Wanda says it’s evil,” Bruce said, injecting just enough scorn to piss off the angry witch lady.

“Its source is evil.” Wanda scowled at him. “You purposely misunderstand me.”

“Biggest. Shit-stirrer. Ever.” Tony pointed at Bruce. “Don’t let the mild-mannered Clark Kent disguise fool you. He’s a dick in disguise.”

Natasha’s lip curled. “He certainly has one,” she agreed.

Everyone made a pained noise, including Bruce.

“TMI, Nat, TM fucking I,” Tony scolded.

Vision picked up the crown while they were all bickering. “It is not of this dimension,” he said.

They all stared at him, holding their breath. Nothing happened.

“He is not made of flesh,” Wanda said. “It will not use him.”

“Use him?” Steve walked in, Bucky at his side. “I don’t like the sound of that.” He glared at the crown in suspicion. 

“Set, the demon wishes to return to the mortal realm,” Wanda said, watching Vision. “The Serpent Crown is his key to the lock between worlds.” Everyone else, including Thor, took a step back.

“Well, that sounds perfectly horrible,” Bruce drawled.

Tony looked at the crown. “Demon?” he squeaked. “We have absolutely zero knowledge of how to deal with a demon.”

“Uh,” Clint put up a hand. “I may know somebody.” They all turned to stare at him. “What? I _have_ had a life outside of the Avengers, you know.” He sounded a little defensive.

“And who would this someone be?” Steve asked, his mouth grim. “We can’t bring just anyone in on this.”

“The ‘someone’ is actually two brothers. Trust me when I say that they’ve seen more shit than even we have.” Clint smiled.

“Not possible,” Tony said.

“How about I give them a call and you can compare dicks, okay?” Clint gave him a flat look.

“Mine’s bigger,” Tony assured him. “Don’t need to look, I’m a billionaire.”

“You’re an asshole,” Clint told him. “Dean is going to eat you alive.”

~o0o~

Tony told Vision to put the Serpent Crown in his vault until the exalted Winchesters arrived. Clint had called them already and they were about two hours out according to him. On a job. 

Tony, Steve and Bucky hung out in the living room with Clint, waiting for the Winchesters while the others headed to the gym. Working out a little boredom by beating each other up wasn’t the worst way to pass the time.

Tony, being the leery bastard his father had raised, googled them, and was horrified to see them show up on several FBI Most Wanted sites. And then be listed as ‘deceased’.

He waved his tablet in front of Clint. “We don’t have enough crazy in our lives? You have to bring in a couple of murderous, ‘dead’ psychopaths?” Steve rescued the tablet from Tony’s flailing grasp.

“People hate what they don’t understand,” Clint told him, and it sounded so much like what Charles had said earlier that Tony shut up.

“So they’re not killers?” Steve asked, frowning down at what he was reading.

“Oh, they’ve killed,” Clint assured them. “But as far as I know, only the bad guys. Demons, werewolves. Wendigos, shape shifters, you know, the monsters?”

Steve blinked. “And you really think we should ally ourselves with them?” He sounded very doubtful.

“They had my back several times, long ago when I was a carnie,” Clint said.

Tony’s ears pricked up. Clint never really talked about his time before S.H.I.E.L.D. He and Natasha had remained silent about their past. “Carnie?”

Clint shot him a grin. “Where do you think I learned how to shoot?” he asked.

This was all brand new information to Tony. He wanted to quiz Clint more but he could see that was all he was going to get. He made a mental note to get Hawkeye drunk and pry the rest of the story out of him some day.

“I’m not comfortable with this plan,” Steve stated.

Tony nodded. “Ditto.” While he was all for meeting new people, he had a feeling that the Winchesters would be an entirely new level of insane.

Bucky shook his head. “None of us have the first clue how to deal with demons,” he pointed out. “From what I’ve seen about the Winchesters, they could get a doctorate.”

“How do you know about them?” Steve asked. He frowned in suspicion. 

“There are books written about them,” Bucky said. “A guy called Carver Edlund wrote a series based on their lives.”

“Fic…shun….” Tony enunciated. “I checked those out. Apparently there is an inappropriately close relationship between the brothers.”

“Oh,” Bucky said, all wide-eyed innocence. Bucky hadn’t been innocent since the day he was born. “You mean like the inappropriate relationship you, Steve and I are having?”

Bucky was a sneaky fucker, Tony thought with reluctant admiration. Steve went bright red and Clint practically hacked up a lung he was laughing so hard. “They are brothers.” It was Tony’s only defense.

“With nobody else to rely on in their world,” Bucky said. “Besides, they can’t get pregnant and pass on their screwy genes, so what’s the problem.”

“Bucky!” Steve exclaimed. “Can we please change the subject?”

Bucky smirked. He was such a shit. Tony adored him. “Sure thing, Cap.” 

It was sort of hilarious, Tony thought. He was in unchartered water now, nothing of this had happened in his previous timeline. Could something as simple as telling Captain America that he had a heart-boner for him be the reason for such a massive shift in his timeline?

Whatever he had done, it seemed as though his new time had taken a completely different turn. The SRA was hopefully a fading memory and he had a whole new mystery to solve in the Serpent Crown. 

He could remember less and less now from that former life. The only things that were still strong memories was the image of Steve dying in his arms. He prayed that he’d done enough to stop it happening. 

But that was a time two years in the future. All he could do now was focus on making sure they never got to that point.

~o0o~

Tony woke with a start when Steve put a hand on his knee. “They’re here,” Clint said, on his feet and heading for the elevator. “I’m going to meet them by the garage.” 

Tony rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?” he asked Steve, noting that a pool of drool adorned Steve’ shoulder. He wiped it off with a grimace. “That must have been attractive.

Steve’s smile was something to see, soft, tender and literal hearts in his eyes. “You don’t get enough sleep,” he said. “No way I was waking you up.”

Tony lifted his hand to Steve’s cheek. “You’re such a romantic,” he said, tugging Steve closer. The kiss was as soft and tender as Steve’s smile. It made something inside Tony curl up and want to cuddle.

He pulled away slowly, reluctant to stop. Bucky sat on a chair watching them with a small smile on his face. “Now that’s a pretty thing to see,” he noted.

Tony held out a hand. “Feeling lonely, Buck?”

Bucky got to his feet, moving like a lazy tiger, all leashed strength and rippling muscle. “Enjoying the show,” he drawled, leaning down to press a kiss to Steve’s mouth. “Looks like my lessons have paid off, babe.”

Steve gave him a sorry attempt at a scowl. “I’ve always been a good kisser, Buck. You just _think_ you’re the one who has game.”

“You have _no_ game, Steve.” Tony was emphatic. “In fact, if there was a thing like negative game, you’d have it.” 

This time the scowl was real. “I’ve got game,” Steve insisted.

“How about this?” Tony held up a hand. “We all know that I’m the king of game, so here’s a challenge.” Both Steve and Bucky looked at him. “Hey, doubting Thomases, just hear me out.”

Steve waved an impatient hand. “Go on.” 

“So, I’ll go to a bar, pretending to be on the lookout for a hook-up,” Tony began, getting enthusiastic at the idea. “Then you two can both try to pick me up. And the best one wins.” He beamed at them in triumph.

“Please, we both know you’d pick Steve,” Bucky scoffed. “You’re biased right off the bat.”

“Hm,” Tony tapped his lip. “You could be right.” He brightened. “How about I choose the person you both try to chat up and let them decide?”

Bucky looked intrigued. “That could work,” he nodded.

Steve didn’t agree. “How are we supposed to ask this stranger to judge us?”

“And why do _you_ get to choose?” Bucky added.

“Let’s be real here,” Tony said, trying not to laugh. “You’re both fossils from another age. You know nothing about modern dating.”

Both of them glared at him. “Am I lying?” Tony asked.

Steve sighed. “I just know this is going to be a disaster,” he muttered.

Just then the elevator dinged, signaling its arrival. They all turned to look at it. As the doors slid open, Tony leaned forward.

Clint got out first, a genuine grin on his face. It had been a while since he’d smiled like that and Tony was prepared to deal with anyone who could put that expression on his friend’s face.

The guy who followed Clint was tall. Like Thor tall. Tony did a quick scan, taking in watchful eyes, shaggy hair and legs that didn’t quit. The second guy was shorter, but not by much. He was also almost ridiculously gorgeous. Steve Rogers levels of gorgeous. Tony didn’t know what it said about him that all his ideals of beauty were somehow on the various faces and bodies of his teammates. 

“Guys, this is Sam Winchester,” Clint introduced the long drink of water first. “And his brother, Dean.” The pretty boy’s eyes were harder than anyone’s had a right to be. There was history there, Tony thought.

“Steve Rogers.” Of course Steve was the first to stand and offer his hand. Even though he’d been as dubious as Tony, those old-fashioned good manners were as much a part of him as his blue eyes.

Sam shook Steve’s hand. There was no posturing, no macho trying to get a harder handshake in. Sam was clearly comfortable with who he was. “I’ve heard a lot about you,” Sam said, a faint drawl detectable in his voice.

“All good,” Dean added, stepping forward and shaking Steve’s hand. He sounded like he’d gone several rounds with a throat grinder and lost. “Big fan.”

Sam’s eyes slid to his brother and Tony saw the fondness in his gaze. “Dean was determined not to keep you waiting.”

Dean glared at Sam. “Shut up,” he mumbled. “It’s goddamn Captain America, you heathen.”

Steve looked over at Tony and Bucky. “You want to come over, fellas.” It wasn’t a request.

Tony was the first to respond. He shoved his hand at Dean. “Tony Stark.”

“Iron Man,” Dean breathed. His eyes were very bright.

“No, that’s me,” Tony said, tongue firmly in cheek.

Sam’s gaze narrowed. “Oh god, you’re one of those,” he said.

“One of what?” Tony asked.

“One of him,” Sam said, indicating Dean with a thumb. “A cocky asshole.”

Bucky snorted a laugh, stepping up to shake Sam’s hand. “There are several of us around, but yeah, he’s the worst,” he said. “Bucky Barnes.”

“Who calls their kid Bucky?” Dean asked. “It’s like calling him Bear.”

“Bear Grylls is a cool guy,” Sam said, frowning at Dean. “He’s a survivalist.”

“He’s a nutbag,” Dean said. 

Tony started laughing. “These two are going to fit in just fine,” he told Clint.

“Told ya,” Clint said with a grin. 

Sam’s mouth curled in a smile. “You mean you’re all psychopathic murderers?” he asked, dimples cutting a devastating line in his cheeks.

Apparently Clint was a tattle-tale. Tony glowered at him. “Not cool, you’re supposed to have my back,” he told Clint.

“That’s their job,” Clint said, nodding at Bucky and Steve. “Mine is to annoy you as much as possible.”

Before Tony could reply, the elevator dinged again. “That the rest of the team?” Dean asked, looking alarmingly eager.

“Don’t think so,” Tony said. “Unless F.R.I.D.A.Y. told them you guys had arrived.”

The doors slid open and Phil Coulson walked in. “Director Fury says that trying to blackmail him will only end in misery.”

They all stared at him. “Agent?” Tony said.

“You told him you wanted him to give me back,” Coulson said in his dry as dust voice, making jazz hands. “Ta-da.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, anyone who's read anything I've written knows how much I adore Supernatural. The way this story s heading seems like a perfect fit for my boys....


	11. what else was in the woods? A heart, closing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson's arrival triggers things. Including Tony throwing a hissy fit. Coulson is the BEST therapist. Tony totally loves him. Like, platonically. Cos he's awesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so this chapter isn't much more than a way for me to work through my Coulson feels. Indulge me

Tony watched Clint’s eyes go wide and shocked. “Coulson?” The name was barely a whisper.

Coulson turned his pale gaze on Clint. “Hawkeye,” he said by way of greeting. “I was very sorry to hear about your family. Laura was a lovely woman.”

It was like something finally broke inside Clint. His eyes went bright and he staggered against Tony. He stumbled with the sudden weight, tumbling back onto the sofa with Clint in his arms.

“Oh god.” Clint’s breath was choppy. Tony could recognize the signs of a panic attack about two hundred miles away.

“Hey,” Tony forced Clint’s face up. “Barton, look at me.” He made Clint meet his eyes. “Breathe with me,” he commanded, imitating Steve when he’d arrived here. He grabbed Clint’s hand and slapped his palm against his chest. “Focus on my heartbeat,” he ordered, keeping his gaze steady on Clint.

“He hasn’t cried yet.” Coulson wasn’t asking a question.

“Not that I know,” Steve answered, hovering over them, looking helpless.

“She’s gone, Tony. She’s gone.” The simple phrase was devastating to them. They’d known Laura, loved her as one of their own. The Barton home had been the one safe place they’d managed to find in the midst of all the Ultron chaos.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Clint,” Tony said, pushing Clint’s face into his shoulder. It was all he could think to say. 

Tony’s shirt was quickly dampened as Clint shook silently against him. Every now and then his breath hitched as he tried to get himself under control. Eventually the storm passed. Tony looked around helplessly at his friends. He had no idea how to handle this.

Sam crouched down in front of them, staring at Clint. “Why didn’t you call me?” he asked. “Why didn’t you tell us?” His eyes were multi-colored. Every angle of light seemed to bring out another color. Tony was a little bit fascinated.

Clint pulled away from Tony, struggling to keep his breathing even. He swiped at his face, brushing away the tears. “Couldn’t do anything,” he said, his voice raw. “Nobody could.”

Tony looked up at Dean and saw sorrow etched in every line of his face. “What happened?” Dean asked, edging nearer to his brother.

Tony was getting the dynamic here. Sam was the sort of hero who would stand beside you and fight with you. He had a feeling that Dean would shove you behind him and face the monsters alone.

“They were murdered.” Bruce’s blunt words broke into the fraught atmosphere. Tony hadn’t even heard the elevator arrive once more. The rest of the team came in with him.

“Who did it?” Dean growled. He was clearly itching to go out and destroy someone. A man after his own heart then, Tony thought.

“A former Hydra agent,” Natasha said, walking up to Dean. “Hey asshole.”

Dean’s mouth curled in a tiny smile. “Hey bitch.” 

Tony watched in astonishment as Natasha, emotionally crippled, vicious Natasha moved into Dean’s arms without another word.

He stared at Steve. “What the fuck?” he mouthed. Steve shook his head. 

He put up a hand. “Ahem.” 

“Yes, Tony, I know them too,” Natasha said, her voice muffled in Dean’s embrace. “Stop gold-fishing.”

Tony snapped his jaw shut, suddenly furious. “You know, I’m pretty fucking tired of being the team punching bag,” he said, pushing himself to his feet. “You’re living in my home, eating my food, using my water and power. How about a little respect?”

He didn’t wait for anyone to respond, just headed to the open elevator and viciously punched the button for the lab floor. He looked up to see Steve’s shocked face as he started to follow Tony to the elevator. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.!” Tony snapped. “Now!”

The doors slid closed on Steve. Tony leaned against the back wall and closed his eyes. There were so many secrets in the team. So many stories that had never been told. Not to each other, anyway. It was part of the reason they’d split at the seams. They had been so busy protecting those secrets that the people who’d wanted them divided and conquered, had won.

He stepped off the elevator and headed into the lab. “No admittance, F.R.I.D.A.Y.” He paused as the bulletproof glass doors eased closed. “And that includes Ms. Potts and Captain Rogers. Is that understood?” 

“Yes, sir.” She sounded subdued. “Your vitals are not stable, Mr. Stark.”

“That’s because I feel like I’m going fucking insane,” Tony told her. “These Winchesters, I need to know more about them. Everything you can find.”

“Yes, sir,” she repeated. “May I suggest that you take something to slow your heart-rate?” She paused. “And I should warn you that the elevator is on the way down.”

Probably Steve with his sad Captain face and his disappointed eyes, Tony thought spitefully. “No. One.” 

He gritted his teeth and went into the small office at the back of the lab. The sofa was long enough for him to lie there in comfort, and the messy blanket was evidence of a night’s sleep on it. He lay down, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Everything has changed,” he murmured to himself. “New people added to the mix, Coulson back before the last time, Ross apparently capable of reason….” He sighed. “So when is the shit going to hit the fan? And how much of it is going to be my fault?”

“Thank you.” Coulson’s voice had Tony shooting up. “It’s comforting to know that you’re blaming the right person.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. you fucking useless piece of craptastic technology!” Tony yelled.

“Don’t shout at your AI,” Coulson said, voice mild. “I have all your override protocols.”

“How the fuck…?” Tony was genuinely flummoxed. “You’ve been gone for years, and yet you waltz back in here and are already a pain in my ass.”

“May I remind you that I’m back at your request,” Coulson said, sitting carefully down on the rickety chair that Tony refused to get rid of because it had belonged to Howard and he had no daddy issues fuck you very much.

“I meant for you to be here for Clint,” Tony muttered, lying back down. 

“And why would I be needed for Agent Barton?” Coulson asked.

Tony sighed. “I feel like I’m on a therapist’s couch,” he said instead.

Coulson snorted. “There is no therapy out there that can cure what ails you, Tony.” He paused. “Now, what’s really going on? How did you find out I was alive? Only Director Fury and Maria Hill knew.”

“Not even your precious Pepper?” Tony sneered, feeling small and mean.

“I thought she was _your_ precious Pepper,” Coulson said, no hint of annoyance in his voice. He wasn’t allowing Tony to bait him.

Tony turned on his side, shoving his hands beneath his head so that he could stare at Phil. “What does it take to piss you off?” he asked.

“A shot to the chest with a magic staff pretty much works every time,” Coulson said, desert-dry.

Tony barked a laugh. “You’re hilarious,” he said. “Why didn’t I remember that you’re hilarious?” He didn’t mean to sound accusing.

Coulson leaned back in the chair. “Because you hate having a handler,” he said. 

Tony wanted to make a stupid comment about handling him, but he remembered the friendship he’d formed with Phil in the future. “I hated you,” he said conversationally, watching as the minutest of tics at the side of Coulson’s mouth was the only indication that he’d struck a nerve.

“Thank you,” Coulson said.

“Stop pretending you didn’t spot the use of past tense,” Tony said. “Safe to say that isn’t the case anymore.”

“Why not?” Coulson tipped his head to the side, considering Tony. “Nothing has changed apart from the reports of my death being greatly exaggerated.”

“ _I’ve_ changed,” Tony told him. He watched Coulson blink in that slow, calculating way of his. 

“Talk to me.” 

And the thing was, Tony _really_ wanted to. But he’d already made so many changes to what was coming that he panicked at the thought of what else he would mess up.

“What do you know about time travel?” he asked, keeping his voice low. Nobody could hear them, but anyone other than Bruce Banner would lock him up and throw away the key if he talked about being from the future.

“You’d be surprised,” Coulson said. “Many of the superhumans that I’ve been dealing with over the past few years have astonishing powers. That one of them could travel through time wouldn’t shock me at all.”

“Huh.” Tony hadn’t really thought about it. He remembered a vague conversation in about a year or so that should have been a big old red flag to him. 

“Are you trying to tell me that you’re a time traveller?” Coulson had always been quick.

“No!” Tony sat up again. “I’m not crazy.”

Coulson’s look was droll. “All genius is part madness, Tony. That’s a fact.”

Tony slumped back against the sofa. “I’m messing everything up,” he whined, scrubbing at his face. “He didn’t give me any guidelines.”

“ _Who_ didn’t give you guidelines?” Coulson asked. 

Tony felt hunted. Coulson always did this to him. Wore him down like a river on a rock. He was a mountain, goddamit! 

“Nobody,” he said, going for airy and sounding squeaky.

Coulson just stared at him, waiting. Tony began to fidget. He was terrible at waiting people out. It took about thirty seconds. “It was a dude thing person whosit called Uatu. Called himself Earth’s Watcher or some shit. Wanted to give me a chance to fix something.”

Coulson leaned his elbows on his knees, linking his fingers together. “Uatu, you say?” 

Tony nodded. “Have you heard of him?” Please God let him have heard of him and then perhaps there might be something a little less bonkers about this entire situation and it might not actually be a wish-fulfillment dream…

“Tony?” Coulson had a little frown between his eyes that meant he’d been talking while Tony had spaced out. “Did you hear what I said?”

Tony thought about lying. “No,” he shook his head. “Sorry, Phil, can you just repeat it?”

If Coulson was confused at Tony using his Christian name, then he didn’t say anything. “Director Fury has mentioned a race of aliens that passively observe and record events for those who will come after the universe ends. He calls them the Watchers.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” Tony sighed. “So I made contact with the Ancient Aliens.”

Coulson blinked. “What?”

“Never mind,” Tony waved a hand. “What do you know about these Watchers?”

“Not much,” Coulson shrugged. “Director Fury spoke about them as benevolent and unwilling to intervene. Apparently we fuck things up in the future.”

Tony practically choked on his spit. “Lord, Phil, warn me when you’re going to get filthy, will ya?”

Coulson’s mouth curved in a tiny smile. “Now where’s the fun in that?” he asked. He sobered. “Are you telling me that the Watcher assigned to our planet decided that something you did was so awful that he altered time so that you could fix it?”

Tony nodded. “Trust me, it was. I think you’d have killed me yourself.”

“You’re not the monster you believe you are, Tony.” And there was the Phil that Clint finally fell in love with, Tony thought. Later though. Much later.

“I know,” he said. “But I allowed something to happen in the past that had terrible consequences for the future. Apparently Uatu says that I’m important and that I _really_ would fuck things up if I stayed on that path.”

Coulson nodded. “Okay.”

Tony waited. Nothing came. “Okay?” he asked, not sure what that meant.

“Okay,” Coulson said. “So how much do you remember of the future now, and have you made any major changes since you got back?”

Tony rubbed at his eyes. “To be perfectly honest, I’m remembering less and less which isn’t a bad thing. Uatu told me it would happen as I changed the future that I already lived. However, certain milestones are still pretty clear in my head.”

Coulson nodded. “I’m not going to ask,” he said. “It’s better that I don’t know.” He looked at Tony carefully. “Who else knows?”

Tony knew that he was going to tell Coulson _everything_ eventually anyway. “Only Bruce.” 

“Did you say anything about Uatu to him?” Coulson probed. 

“No.” Tony shook his head. “Just the time travel. The ‘how’ seemed a step too far into the woo-woo crazy. Although I _did_ tell him it was magic.”

Coulson gave him a flat look. “Really, Tony? Magic?”

“Whatever.” Tony hunched his shoulders. “He let it go.”

“I sincerely doubt that,” Coulson murmured. “If I know Dr. Banner then he’s been trying to figure out how you did it.”

Tony chuckled. “You are probably right,” he admitted. He suddenly felt a whole lot lighter. “You know, in the future, you and I are best buds.”

“Sure,” Coulson said with a smirk. “And the moon is made of blue cheese.”

Tony pointed at him. “Just you wait,” he threatened. “I grow on you.”

“Like fungus on a tree,” Coulson said, but he smiled. “Now, how about you stop hiding away and go up and apologize to the friends who have no idea what you had a conniption about.”

“Conniption?” Tony scoffed, following Coulson to his feet. “You are such a throwback, Agent.”

Coulson rolled his eyes. “And you talk like a thirteen year old girl, Stark.” 

Tony squared his shoulders as they headed back up the stairs. “On a scale of one to evisceration, how pissed off is Nat?”

“About vivisection,” Coulson said. “She still has some abandonment issues to work out.”

“Fuck,” Tony breathed. 

“Man up, Tony.” Coulson clapped a hand hard on his back. “You have apologies to make to several folk, including our guests.”

Tony groaned. He’d forgotten the Winchesters “This is going to hurt.”


	12. I fumble forward through the valley as winter, as water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters start figuring things out. Lots of talking. LOTS. There's a curveball nobody was expecting - especially Tony. And now he needs to start telling the truth.....well some of it anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for sticking with me. Apologies for the lateness. I am having a really bad week. Hopefully the next part will be up sooner rather than later.

When Tony stepped out of the elevator, Natasha punched him in the stomach. He doubled over, wheezing and clutching his belly.

“You’re a dumbass,” Natasha informed him. 

“Sorry,” Tony choked out. “I may have over-reacted and am a _complete_ dumbass.” He sucked at air, trying to remember how to breathe.

“You did.” Natasha spun on a sharp heel. “Of course we appreciate you.” Tony was just grateful she hadn’t kicked him in the nuts with those.

“Is it always like this?” Dean’s distinctive gravelly voice had Tony trying to straighten up. Coulson offered a hand.

“No,” Clint replied. “Usually it’s much, much worse.” He sounded almost cheerful. Tony wanted to kiss these brothers who had put that sound in his voice again.

“Marvelous,” Dean drawled. He smiled at Tony. “You okay there, pal?”

“Eh,” Tony still sounded as though he’d swallowed helium. “I’ve had worse.” He saw Natasha narrow her gaze. “But a long time ago!” he added hastily. “It involved torture and blood and pain and my heart being ripped out.” He watched her nod in satisfaction, and breathed a sigh of relief.

“You just never know when to shut up, do you Tony?” Steve’s question was almost fond. He watched Tony from the sofa. 

“My mouth has possibly gotten me into trouble a time or two,” Tony admitted, hobbling towards him. He gave Natasha a wide berth. Collapsing against Steve, he asked, “What did I miss?” Steve obliged by wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“While you were downstairs trying to find your big girl panties, the Winchesters were filling us in on demonology.” Clint’s smile was sharp. “Shit is going down.”

“What shit? Down where?” Tony shot back.

Sam looked up from his laptop. “Set is an ancient demon,” he said. 

“Thank you, Einstein, we got that much, which is why we called _you_ ,” Tony said.

“Play nice,” Bucky told him. 

Then Tony met Sam’s gaze. “Oh my god,” he said. “Those eyes should be declared lethal weapons!” Sam’s slow smile was a revelation. Suddenly everything Carver Edlund had written made sense.

If Tony wasn’t in an already complicated and committed relationship then he might have been tempted. Of course, Dean might disembowel him if he tried. Dean had that wild, possessive air about him. Tony reckoned it was a case of like recognizing like.

Dean snorted. “Don’t let him fool you,” he said. “Sammy knows exactly what the puppy eyes do.”

Sam slanted a glance over to Dean and for a moment it felt as though Tony was intruding on something. “I mostly only use it for good,” Sam assured him.

Tony gave a startled laugh. “And Clint says that _Dean’s_ the cocky asshole?”

Sam looked proud of himself. “A lifetime of bad influence,” he said.

“Set.” Steve’s voice brought them all thumping back to earth. 

Tony sighed. Steve was the original party-pooper.

“The Set we are familiar with is an Egyptian being.” Sam said briskly, tuning his laptop around so that they could all see.

“Wasn’t that one of the god’s names?” Bruce asked.

Sam nodded. “Looks like the Set of Egyptian origin actually had its roots way back.” He read from the text, “ _The serpent god Set was created approximately 3 billion years ago, when the being known as the Demiurge spread its substance over the Earth and "birthed" the Elder Gods, of which it was one._ ” He looked up. “That’s about as old as we’ve dealt with.”

Dean sat down next to Sam, reading over his shoulder. “ _Set "birthed" several lesser snake demons itself, such as Damballah and Sligguth; but it hungered for power, and decided to obtain it by eating the weaker gods and absorbing their magical essence. The process worked, but it also devolved Set, turning it into a demon._ ” He grimaced. “Well, fuck.”

Tony held out his fist and Dean bumped it. “Sounds like fun.” He could practically feel Steve glaring at him.

“Is there anything about how to kill it?” Coulson asked, ignoring them. Trust Agent to get to the heart of the matter.

Sam frowned. “From what I’m reading, Set isn’t actually on earth. There’s something here about a pocket dimension and Set being able to access his powers by means of the crown.” He scratched his belly. “I’ll have to wade through a whole bunch of crap to find out some part of the truth. Wikipedia isn’t exactly long on accuracy.”

Steve looked over at Thor. “Do you think maybe you could head back to Asgard and ask your father about Set?”

Thor nodded, his eyes fixed on the drawing seven headed-serpent on the Wikipedia page. “Something of this name Set stirs my memory. I will return to Asgard and ask my father Odin about this serpent demon.”

“Wasn’t that what you just said?” Tony murmured to Steve.

“Sh,” Steve told him, but Tony could see him fighting a grin. “Thanks Thor.”

Thor nodded and began swinging Mjolnir. “No!” Tony yelled. “Get onto the balcony and catch the Bifröst without breaking my home!”

Thor looked wounded, his hand falling to the side. “Ah, friend Tony, I have been remiss in my behavior. I have destroyed your places of dwelling in my eagerness to return home in the past.”

“And I’m sure you’ll do it again,” Tony said. “Just try to remember to take it outside before you leave?”

Thor’s shoulders slumped and he dragged himself out to the balcony.

“Now you’ve hurt _his_ feelings,” Natasha hissed. “Go make it right!”

Tony was properly terrified of Natasha so he hurried after Thor to do just that. “Thor! Buddy! Point Break!”

Thor turned to look at Tony, his eyes still a little tragic. “I am a most discourteous friend,” he told Tony. “How can I correct my grievous error?”

Tony held up a hand. “Whoa, Thunderdome, you don’t have to beat yourself up about it. Just be more careful in the future. And if you do it again, I have money. It won’t break my bank.”

Thor didn’t look any happier. “I shall bring you a gift from Asgard,” he declared. “As recompense for my lack.”

Tony decided that arguing with him wasn’t going to help. “Sure,” he said. “Bring me a jewel or mead or something.”

“I shall bring you something of great worth,” Thor vowed. “This I swear.”

“Cool,” Tony said, stepping back. “I look forward to it.”

Swinging Mjolnir once more, smiling again, Thor was enveloped in the radiant light of the Bifröst and vanished.

“Now that’s some cool shit.” Dean’s drawl had Tony turning around. “Not something you see every day.”

“Thor takes a little getting used to,” Tony admitted.

“None of you are quite how I imagined you,” Dean said, leaning against the balcony wall and looking out over New York.

“We all put our pants on one leg at a time,” Tony said. He turned his head to see Bucky walking towards him. “Hey.”

Bucky’s smile lit up his face. “Nat wanted to know if you had made nice with the big guy.” He lifted a hand and ran it over Tony’s back. It was all still so new that Tony got a thrill from simply being able to touch.

“He’s sorry for destroying my home and will bring me jewels,” Tony assured him, leaning back against Bucky’s bulk. 

Dean’s sharp eyes missed nothing. “So you’re…?” He motioned between them.

Tony nodded. 

“With Steve,” Bucky added with a mischievous twinkle.

Dean’s jaw dropped. “I’m not sure whether to say congratulations or be appalled.”

Tony knew his smile was smug. “Definitely door number one,” he said. And scowled. “Not that we’ve actually managed to get any further than some kissing.” He glared at Bucky. “You need to fix that,” he said.

Bucky shrugged. “Steve is in ‘protect the world’ mode, nobody’s getting lucky just yet.”

“This is possibly the strangest conversation I’ve ever not been a part of,” Dean commented.

“Stick around, Winchester,” Bucky said. “When Banner and Tony get their geek on, it’s a whole other level of what the fuck.”

Tony elbowed him. “My brain is the most beautiful thing about me,” he snipped. Then paused, thinking. “Although my dick is a pretty close second.”

Dean laughed helplessly. “Sammy still blushes like a teenaged girl when I talk dirty, you guys will make him have a coronary.” Tony wasn’t touching that particular confession with a barge-pole. What happened behind the doors with these two was between them. 

Bucky tugged at Tony. “Come on, brainiac, let’s go and tell the scary lady that you obeyed her.”

Dean followed them back inside. Bruce and Sam were hunched over Sam’s laptop, muttering occasionally to each other. Clint was drinking a cup of coffee, talking to Natasha. 

“Where are the bird-boys, woo-woo lady and her shadow?” Tony asked. He knew how much it irritated Steve which is why he did it.

“They went foraging,” Clint said. “Avengers in the wild. Should make the nine o’ clock news.” Tony exchanged a grin with him.

“Wilson is the only one who is even remotely house-trained,” Bucky said. “The last time Wanda and Vision went to get food, we ended up eating raw fish.” He made a face.

“Sushi is a delicacy, you Philistine,” Tony remonstrated. “Only cultured people get how awesome it is. Paired with champagne, there’s nothing better.”

“Burgers and fries with beer, now that’s real food,” Dean said. He and Bucky were clearly soul-mates, Tony thought.

“Pizza is the perfect food,” Clint mused. “And beer.” Dean tipped his own beer at Clint.

“Caviar and Vodka,” Natasha declared.

“You’re all heathens,” Tony informed them. “Get out of my house.” He pointed at the elevator.

“Anyone seen something like this?” Sam broke into their conversation, pointing at a picture on the screen. It was the print of a black hand, thumb and four fingers splayed out.

Tony peered at it, leaning over Sam’s shoulder. “Why does that look so familiar?” he wondered.

“General Ross has something like that tattooed on his arm,” Bruce said, face troubled. “I remember it from when Betty and I were together. I can’t think that this is good.” 

“Well, crap.” Tony sighed. “That explains a whole fuckton.”

Everyone looked at him. Steve frowned. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“Remember that meeting I had earlier?” Tony rubbed at his yes. “Well, it was with Thaddeus Ross. I thought I’d managed to put out a wildfire.”

“But?” Steve prompted.

“If he’s a member or whatever of Set’s little party, then whatever he told me to get Xavier, Richards and I out of there was just a bunch of bullshit,” Tony said. 

“You’re not making sense,” Clint said.

Fuck. He was going to have to tell them all about the SRA. He took a deep breath. “The crazy ex-general who is currently our Secretary of State has started to gain support for something he calls the Superhuman Registration Act.”

“The what?” Steve frowned. 

“You asked me about that before,” Bruce said. “When…” he stopped, eyes going wide. “Shit.”

Tony nodded wearily. “Yeah.” He met Steve’s gaze. “He wants to govern all superhumans by means of a register.”

Coulson pursed his lips. “That would be….unfortunate,” he said. “Director Fury needs to know about this.” He dug a phone out of his pocket and pressed a button. He stood up, walking away from them as he rattled off a code that Tony struggled to hear.

“You told Bruce?” Steve’s eyes were dark. “And not me?” 

Crap, Tony thought. Now he’d have to deal with Steve’s hurt feelings too. How to handle this without doing too much damage to this new and fragile thing they had.

“He didn’t actually _tell_ me anything,” Bruce said, covering Tony’s ass. “He just asked me if I’d heard about it.”

“And where did _you_ hear about it?” Natasha folded her arms menacingly. Tony barely stopped himself from taking a step back.

“That’s why he asked me,” Bruce said. “He’d heard rumblings and wanted to check if I’d heard the same.”

“Why didn’t he ask me?” Natasha’s eyes were narrowed. “Steve and I are way more aware of politics than you are. And so is Rhodes.” She shook her head. “What aren’t you telling us?”

Tony wondered whether the joys of working with super-smart people outweighed the pain-in-the-ass knowledge that he couldn’t keep much secret from them. He opened his mouth to fill the suspicious silence.

“The Director has confirmed that the SRA is in play.” Coulson came back to their group. “Things are further along than expected."

Dean held up a hand. “Excuse me, can someone catch us up?” Tony got the feeling that Dean wasn’t the sort to ask politely a second time.

“Yeah, ditto.” Clint looked as pissed off as Natasha did.

Tony wondered just how much he should tell them. “I first got wind of the SRA thanks to some old school buddies who are part of the wheels of the Congress machine,” he began. “With the whole world knowing that I’m Iron Man and the shitstorm that resulted from Ultron, they’ve tried to keep me posted with what’s going on.”

He wasn’t lying. The truth was he’d only found out about the SRA long after it had gone through the first rounds of Congress approval. And by then it had been too late.

“And just what _was_ going on?” Sam’s question was mild, but his eyes were laser sharp.

Tony rubbed at his eyes, head suddenly aching. “That Ross was trying to steamroll the law into Congress.”

“So you decided that you’d meet with him and what?” Steve demanded, hands propped on his hips. 

Tony had to order his dick to behave, because Steve angry was pretty goddamn sexy. “It wasn’t my decision,” Tony replied. “Ross called the meeting. And I wasn’t alone. Charles Xavier and Reed Richards were in the same meeting.”

Coulson blinked. “He had all three of you in the same room?” he asked.

Tony nodded. “He wanted us to sign up for the registration. I managed to persuade Xavier and Richards that it wasn’t a good idea.” He slumped into a chair. “And I thought I’d gotten through to Ross as well.” He flicked a gaze back to the mark of Set. “Are you sure he has that on his arm?” He looked up at Bruce hopefully.

Bruce nodded. “Yeah. He doesn’t often let it be seen, but once…” he stopped, clearing his throat. “Yeah.”

Tony knew what Ross had done to Bruce. How he’d hunted him like the biggest game prize on the planet. “Okay.” He kept his voice soft, not wanting to have Bruce relive bad memories. 

“The registration?” Steve prompted. “Talk, Tony.”

Tony hadn’t wanted any of them to know about this. He met Coulson’s level gaze. The slight nod gave him the impetus to get it out. “The Superhuman Registration Act is meant to name and number all superhumans on the planet so that the governments know where they are at all times.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Natasha said. Tony didn’t dare look at her.

“That sounds like the Nazis with the Jews.” Steve wasn’t polite about it.

“Exactly,” Tony said. “Which is why I wanted to head it off before it grew legs.” He was tired and frustrated. It seemed as though the only sure thing about the future was that the SRA would exist. No matter how he tried to change it.

“And you didn’t think that it was important enough to tell us?” Steve’s tone was dangerous. 

Tony was screwed no matter what answer he gave. 

“Instructions from Director Fury were need-to-know only.” Coulson was Tony’s unexpected savior. “Tony wasn’t allowed to talk about it.”

The sense of desperate relief and gratitude that washed through him almost knocked him over. “I gave my word,” Tony said. Of course, he didn’t say to whom he’d given it. 

“I think I’d better have a long chat with the director in the very near future.” Steve’s growl was pretty cute, Tony thought. At least he wasn’t mad at Tony much anymore. 

“You do that,” Tony said with a grin. “As long as I get to watch.”

“I’m not forgetting the fact that you kept this a secret from us, Tony.” Steve’s face was set in stern lines. “This Registration Act could cause a lot of trouble for us and our friends.”

Tony sighed, sobering again. “I _couldn’t_ tell you, Steve. The reality is that sometimes there are things that I can’t tell you.”

Steve didn’t look happy about it. “This isn’t something that only affects you.”

“I know,” Tony said. “But I didn’t want it to get any bigger than it was. I thought I’d managed to cut off the head.” He winced. “That sounded way too much like Hydra.”

“Are you saying that the US Secretary of State is trying to pass a law that forces the superheroes to register and he’s a disciple of a demon from another dimension?” 

Dean’s question had them all turning to look at him. 

“Put like that, I reckon the world is in a shitload of trouble.” Bucky’s mouth twisted. “So, anyone got a plan?”

The silence that followed was _not_ a comfortable one.


	13. we're helpless in sleep and struggling at the bottom of the pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury assembles the Avengers. Bucky gives Tony insight. The Winchesters have a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. It has been one hell of a year thus far. Thanks for sticking with me.

Steve wasn’t talking to Tony. He was still visibly angry that he’d not been kept in the loop about the SRA, but Tony couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ tell him anything more.

Sam and Bruce were going over all the information they had on Set together. F.R.I.D.A.Y. passed on every piece of date she could find and they sifted through it, weeding out the crap from the not-quite-crap.

A worrying pattern was forming. The mark of Set was showing up on more and more people. Prominent people who wielded power in many countries.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Bucky murmured, clearly not having the same issues that Steve had.

Tony nodded. “Whoever, wherever Set is, he’s planning a takeover.”

“Bloodless coup?” Dean asked, coming out of the kitchen with a plate loaded with sandwiches. He handed one to Sam who took it almost absently. 

Rhodey, Wilson, Wanda and Vision had returned carrying bags of supplies. The team had descended on the food as though they’d been starved for days. Tony noticed that the Winchesters had elbowed for food as quickly as his friends had. 

“That sounds about right,” Steve nodded, bringing Tony back to the present. Apart from the two research nerds, everyone else was lying around in various stages of food coma. Tony couldn’t believe that Dean was _still_ eating.

“How did I not see this?” Tony muttered.

“No-one saw it, Tony.” Bruce looked up at him. “If Jane hadn’t found the crown and Thor hadn’t brought it here, then Set would have taken over the world with barely a whimper.”

Tony shook his head. “No, I mean…” He stopped. He shouldn’t say anything more. 

Coulson ended the call he’d been on for the past half an hour. “Director Fury has asked that we all come in,” he said. “You two as well.” He nodded at Sam and Dean.

“What about the X-Men and the Fantastic Four?” Clint asked, passing Coulson a plate of sandwiches.

Coulson took it with a surprised thank you. “We’ll be working with them too,” he said. “This is bigger than us. Bigger than any one team.”

“We’re not really team players,” Dean began.

“ _All_ ,” Coulson repeated with a hard look Dean’s way.

There was a complicated series of eyebrow movements between Sam and Dean that fascinated Tony. Sam came out the obvious winner when he said, “When do we leave?”

~o0o~

Tony always twitched when he came into the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. He didn’t know why, possibly it was because he knew that every move, every word, was recorded and seen by Nicky Fury.

Coulson led the way to a bank of elevators. Turning to look at them he said, “I sincerely doubt that we will all fit into one lift.” He cast his eyes over them. “Captain, I suggest you take Widow, Hawkeye and Colonel Rhodes with our guests and the others can come with me.”

Not meeting Tony’s gaze, Steve nodded, obediently heading for another elevator. Tony sighed, stalking to the back of the lift. Bucky stood beside him as the others filed in. “He’ll get over it,” Bucky said, keeping his voice low.

Tony’s snort was inelegant. “He holds a grudge like a baby,” he said. “As if he hasn’t kept a secret before.” He waved an angry hand at Bucky. “Case in point.”

Bucky grabbed Tony’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “He’s had a lifetime of being the face of something,” he said, still speaking softly. “He feels like Ross approached you because he only thought of Steve as a figurehead and you were the actual leader.”

Tony stared at him. “Are you shitting me?” he asked.

“No-one is defecating,” Vision said, looking puzzled. 

Tony wanted to hit his head against something hard. “It’s an expression,” he explained for what felt like the millionth time. How was Vision so fucking smart and yet so fucking stupid when it came to applying that brain? “Seriously, Buck, Steve’s pissed off at me because he wasn’t called to Ross’ office as the big bad leader of the Avengers?”

“Do you honestly think Steve is that petty?” Bucky asked.

Wilson slouched against the elevator wall, staring at them. “You know Steve isn’t petty,” he growled, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. 

Wanda nodded her agreement. “The Captain is many things, but petty isn’t one of them.”

Tony threw his hands in the air. “Well, what the hell are you trying to say then?” he asked Bucky.

Bucky met his gaze squarely. “You know how he feels about you, Tony. You going it alone was a slap in the face.” 

Tony felt that squirrelly feeling twist deep inside again. “I didn’t mean to exclude him.” He wanted to _protect_ Steve, not hurt him.

“He’s lost almost everyone he loves.” Bucky’s voice was harder now. “He’s made new friends in this time, but you and me, we’re his family. And in Steve’s mind, family is _always_ honest with each other.”

“Okay.” Tony tucked his chin against his chest. He was going to have to figure out how to placate Steve without telling him too much. “Thanks, Buck.”

Bucky nudged him with his shoulder. “We’re all learning how this works, right?” He smiled a little. “It took me a long time to convince Steve that I wasn’t planning on running again.”

Tony nudged him back. “Well, of course you have to be the mature one in this relationship,” he said with a smirk. “You are almost a hundred years old after all.”

“Such an asshole,” Bucky muttered, but it sounded like an endearment. Tony would take it.

~o0o~

The others were waiting when the doors slid open. Steve’s gaze went straight to where Bucky and Tony stood, hands still clasped together. “Ready?” he asked, eyes shuttered.

Tony tugged Bucky with him, reaching out for Steve. “Facing the Cyclops is always challenging,” he quipped, feeling something settle inside when Steve took his hand without hesitation. 

“Stop calling him that,” Steve admonished. 

They followed Coulson down a long corridor, grey and glass. Tony’s architects had built something functional and beautiful and somehow S.H.I.E.L.D. had managed to make it spectacularly boring. “Why?” Tony asked. “It’s not like it’s not true.”

“He’s going to hear it one day,” Steve cautioned.

“Hear what?” Fury’s question had Tony spinning with a squeak, karate-chopping the air.

“Bells!” he yelped. “Goddamn bells!”

Fury’s smirk was especially annoying today. “As if I don’t know every stupid name you’ve come up with, Stark.” He fell into step beside the three of them. “You don’t know what _I_ call you though.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Are you messing with me?” he asked.

Fury shrugged, hands deep in the pockets of his stupid long black leather jacket. “You’ll never know.”

Tony wanted to kick him. A warning look from Steve had him subsiding. “Director, what do you know…?”

Fury held up a hand, stopping Steve’s question. “Once we’re in a less conspicuous space,” he said.

Another set of hydraulic doors and the sudden popping of his ears, told Tony that they were in a pressurized room. There was a large table with about a dozen chairs spread around it.

Tony looked around at his team. Waited for Steve. “You need to tell us everything,” Steve ordered Fury. “And no hedging.”

Fury indicated that they sit. Tony sat at Steve’s right, Bucky at his left. Interestingly, Dean pulled up a chair next to Tony, Sam beside him. The rest of the team took various places.

“The Serpent Crown wasn’t supposed to turn up,” Fury began with an annoyed grimace. “Dr. Foster removed it before we could move in.”

“That would have gone down exceptionally well with Tall, Blond and Electrically-Challenged,” Tony noted.

Fury nodded. “Which is why we decided to let things play out.” He looked at the Winchesters. “We were certainly not expecting _you_.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “That sounds a lot like you know who we are.”

“He likes to pretend he knows everything,” Tony told them in a stage whisper. “Most likely he just got a run-down when you arrived here. He hates surprises.” He grinned when Fury glowered at him. It was the little things really that made life worth living.

“Not helpful, Tony,” Steve murmured, but Tony could totally see him fighting a smirk.

Dean leaned back in his seat. “So you know who we are and what we’re capable of?” he asked.

Fury inclined his head. “I know,” he admitted. “I’m not sure you should be a part of this, though.” He held up a hand when Dean opened his mouth. “Your war is on another front,” he said. “Keeping the Darkness at bay is just as important in dealing with Set.”

Tony blinked and then narrowed his eyes at Clint. Just who were these guys? Google had clearly failed him.

“The Darkness is contained for now.” Sam’s reply took Tony by surprise. “We wouldn’t have come if we weren’t sure it wouldn’t jeopardize our situation.”

“Anyone else want to know the exact specifics of said situation?” Tony asked, looking around. “No-one?” 

Dean turned his head to meet his eyes. “We aren’t just demon hunters,” he said. “We protect humans in other ways.”

“That sounds very mysterious,” Bucky drawled.

Tony flailed a hand toward him. “See? Not the only one!”

Fury rubbed the spot where the skin wrinkled between his eyes that Tony privately thought of as his ‘Why the Fuck do I have to Deal with this Shit?’ spot. “The Winchesters have their battle and the Avengers have theirs, Stark.” He sounded like he was clenching his jaw.

“Which is why I called them,” Clint said. “As soon as the word ‘demon’ cropped up, I thought of them.” He took a breath when Nat touched his arm. “We have no fucking idea what we’re doing.”

“And they do?” Bruce asked. “I mean, inter-dimensional wanna-be demon gods aren’t exactly anyone’s milieu.” Tony loved that Bruce used words like ‘milieu’ when he talked. It made Hulk’s grunting even more entertaining.

“Trust me, we’ve spent enough time in other dimensions to know what we’re doing,” Dean said. Tony wanted to hear _all_ of their stories. Dean leaned his elbows on the table. “So, Sammy has a suggestion…”

All of them turned to look at Sam. “Uh.”

“C’mon, dude, tell them what you told me,” Dean urged.

Running a hand through his hair, Sam cleared his throat. “So, the usual way to deal with a demon is trap it in a salt circle and exorcise it,” he began.

“But the demon we’re after is in another dimension,” Clint pointed out.

What the hell? Tony wondered how he’d managed to fall into a world that included exorcising demons as table talk.

“Thanks, Einstein,” Sam said, but he was smiling. Clint flipped him off. “We treat Set like we treat Crowley.”

Everyone blanked at him.

“King of Hell?” Dean looked around the room. “Seriously, does nobody know what’s going on in the world?” He threw his hands up. 

“Why don’t you explain it to us, in small words, so that we can follow?” Tony loved it when Steve got his sass on.

Dean slumped back. Apparently being snarked at by Captain America was one way to shut him up. His brother just grinned.

“So, Crowley,” Sam tried again.

“King of Hell, right?” Tony grinned back at Sam. His earnest face reminded him a little of Steve. 

“Right,” Sam agreed. “So, when we want to have words with him, we summon him.”

Bruce held up a hand. “Wait, you just dial up the King of Hell?” He blinked. “Isn’t that sort of dangerous?”

“Fuckin’ A,” Dean agreed and clamped his mouth shut at an admonishing look from Sam.

“We have an agreement,” Sam said.

“With the King of Hell.” Steve’s voice was faint, as though he couldn’t believe he was saying the words.

“Yeah,” Sam said. “He’s a pain in the ass but we know him.”

“Better the devil you know, right?” Dean said, his eyes sparkling at the joke he’d obviously been dying to use.

“Heh.” Tony hid his smirk when Steve shot him a look. 

“While this is very interesting, I don’t see what this has to do with the cult of Set that has sprung up on earth under our noses.” Fury sounded like he was crushing glass. 

“Chill, man,” Dean said. “Sammy’s just getting to the good stuff.” Tony _did_ laugh then. Fury’s one eye about popped out of his head. 

He didn’t dare look at any of his team. It wouldn’t have been pretty.

“I’m perfectly chill,” Fury gritted.

“I’m thinking that the mark these people carry aren’t just proof that they’re acolytes,” Sam said, clearly wanting to keep things civil.

Tony blinked. “Oh.” He became the focus of everyone’s gaze. “You’re saying that they’re not human.”

Sam basically beamed at him. “And Iron Man gets the prize.”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that.” Tony flirted like he breathed and there was no way that anything was going to happen with Dean and his pensioner boyfriends in the room. “What did I win?”

“Tony.” How was it possible that his name could be used as a reproach or admonishment?

Sam bit back a laugh. “The chance to learn a little Latin?”

“That doesn’t sound like much of a prize,” Tony grumbled.

“We’ve identified at least one hundred individuals around the globe who bear the mark of Set,” Bruce said. “Are you expecting us to exorcise them all?”

“No, of course not,” Sam said. “I’m saying, let’s summon Set and have him do it _for_ us.”


	14. knot without rope, bloom without flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers assemble....and things devolve rapidly. Thor returns and a sort of half-assed plan emerges. Nothing about this pleases Fury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just an FYI - this story ended up taking an unexpected turn. Apologies for the lack of sexy times. I promise they're coming. We just need to deal with a demon god-king-thing.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos. They keep me going.

Tony watched as Fury started shouting. He sat back when Dean added his two cents. He observed Natasha and Clint have a silent exchange and come to some sort of telepathic agreement. He folded his arms across his chest when Rhodey told Sam Winchester flat out that he was a nutjob. 

It was only when Bruce turned an alarming shade of minty green that he stepped in. Tony stuck his fingers between his teeth and blew. The shrill sound of his whistle had them all shutting up. He thumbed at Bruce. “The Other Guy _really_ isn’t liking the conflict, fellas.”

Steve went pale. “Not another word,” he hissed at everyone.

Natasha got up and put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “Deep breaths, sugar.” He turned to look at her, visibly fighting the transformation. “Do we need a lullaby?”

Bruce grimaced, shaking his head. “I’m okay,” he said. “Just the noise.”

Natasha gave them a significant look. Tony interpreted it as, ‘shut the fuck up or I will end you in many painful ways’. 

“You okay, Bruce?” Tony asked. 

Bruce put a hand on the table, fist clenched. “Yeah.”

“Why is it that whenever we’re in that not-so-capable hands of the friendly neighborhood S.H.I.E.L.D. operation that the shit hits the fan?” Tony wasn’t expecting an answer.

A crash above their heads heralded the arrival of Tony’s favorite god. “He’s hee-ee-re…” he hummed.

“Who?” Dean tilted over to whisper. 

“Thor’s about to make an entrance and it’s going to be glorious.” Tony confided. “Thor’s awesome.”

The doors opened and Thor strode in. Tony thought that he’d never seen anyone who looked more like the cover of a bad bodice ripper than Thor.

“This room is supposed to be secure,” Fury growled. As usual, with the Avengers, he’d lost control of the situation.

“I am able to open any door,” Thor declared, cloak billowing out dramatically. Tony heard Bucky snicker. Then he noticed the woman who’d followed Thor in. 

“Jane!” Tony leapt to his feet and ran to hug Thor’s…Thor’s. Jane Foster was possibly the only person other than Bruce that Tony considered an intellectual equal. Plus she was very nice to look at.

She hugged him back. “Tony, it’s so good to see you.” She smiled at the rest of the team. “All of you.” Her sharp gaze settled on the Winchesters. “You, I don’t know.”

Dean got to his feet with a little hip swagger. “I’m Dean Winchester and this is my brother Sam, and I am _very_ pleased to meet you.” Yup, Tony thought, flirted like he breathed. Absolutely nothing real about it though.

Thor wasn’t a subtle man. He stepped front of Jane. “Jane Foster is my paramour,” he announced with a frown at Dean. “I think I should forbid you to speak with her.” He looked over at Steve. “Why have you brought these remarkably appealing strangers here?”

Bucky’s shoulders shook.

Dean blinked.

Sam got to his feet, offering a hand to Jane. “Excuse Dean, he’s not quite house-trained.” 

Jane shook Sam’s hand with the same enthusiasm she did most things. “It is seldom that I meet a man with a stature so near to Thor's,” she said.

Sam shrugged. “I’m tall for a human.” He looked at Mjolnir, hanging off Thor’s belt. “I meant to ask you earlier, did you perhaps misplace that a few years ago?”

Thor’s eyes narrowed. “How would you know of Mjolnir?” he demanded.

“We found it once,” Sam said in an off-hand sort of way. “It’s a well-balanced weapon.”

Everyone stared at him. Including Thor. “You have wielded my hammer?” Thor asked. Tony really wished that his brain was wired differently sometimes. He barely stopped his snicker by pretending to have a coughing fit.

“Uh,” Sam said, cheeks a little pink. “If you mean that big piece of metal hanging off your belt, then yeah, I picked it up. It felt good in my hands.”

Tony gave up, dropping his head on the table and howled with laughter.

“You’re all ridiculous,” Coulson told them, but Tony could see the twinkle in his eyes.

Thor finally got the joke. “Ah, you’re amused because you think I’m referring to my manhood as my hammer.” He beamed at them all. “I’m sure Jane would be the better person to ask.”

Tony fell off his chair.

~o0o~

When they’d finally collected themselves, Steve called them to order. “What did your father say?” he asked Thor.

Thor’s lip curled. “This serpent god demands human sacrifice,” he said. “My father spoke of the Stygians being Set’s first worshippers. He hungered for power and ate as many of the lesser gods as he could. Life is valueless to him.”

“So basically what you’re saying is that Set is happy with the world of men being destroyed?” Tony asked.

Thor nodded. “He was sealed up in what my father calls a pocket dimension by his own hand.”

“Huh?” Dean frowned. “He put himself in exile?”

“Not by design,” Thor explained. “However, much power is needed for him to escape which is why he is building up his army.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound good,” Rhodey said. “I’m guessing that’s why he’s creating this army of followers here.”

“I wonder how he’s doing it?” Bucky mused. “I mean, if he’s stuck in another dimension, then how is he reaching this one?”

There was a brief silence. “Perhaps that is why the serpent crown was created?” Vision’s calm tone broke it. 

“You’re thinking it’s some sort of portal?” Bruce asked.

Vision nodded. “There seems no other explanation.”

“So then we destroy it,” Steve said.

Wanda shook her head. “While the crown has power, Set has too many followers now.” She frowned. “I feel it calling to me.”

“Oh hell no!” Wilson said. “If that thing has the ability to affect us then we need to make it go bye-bye right now.”

“It cannot be destroyed,” Thor declared. “However, my father has offered to store it in the vaults of Asgard, along with the other dangerous objects we have removed from the Seven Realms.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve said. 

“Odin has told me that I can examine it there and see if we can decipher its secrets,” Jane said. She looked excited.

“I too would like the chance to commune with the crown,” Wanda said. 

Steve clearly didn’t like that idea. “I don’t think that would be wise,” he tried diplomatically.

“I will accompany Wanda,” Vision said. “I will ensure that no harm comes to her.”

Steve met Tony’s gaze. “What do you think?” he asked.

Surprised that his opinion had been sought, Tony shrugged. “I can’t see it doing any harm.” He looked over at Bruce. “Knowing more is always a bonus, right?”

Bruce nodded. “We know too little as it is.”

Steve sighed. “I don’t think sending half our team off-world is the wisest decision, but if you all think it’s for the best….”

“How about what _I_ think?” Fury asked. “Anyone interested in that?”

Tony _really_ wanted to answer him, but Steve’s quick head-shake had him holding his tongue.

“I’m the team leader, sir,” Steve said. “I will always put the safety of the planet ahead of our own. In this case however, nothing has happened yet. All we have is conjecture, bad internet information and some dodgy intel from strangers.” He sent an apologetic look at the Winchesters. “I reckon the hope of Jane and Wanda discovering something is worth the risk of them leaving for Asgard.” He waited, watching Fury.

“I believe that Captain Rogers is correct, sir.” Coulson’s voice broke into the charged quiet. Everyone took a collective sigh of relief. With Coulson on their side, Fury was sure to follow.

“Hm.” Fury’s grunt wasn’t reassuring, but it wasn’t a no.

“By, the by, our hunter friends have suggested that we summon Set and get him to exorcise his victims.” Tony watched Thor’s face closely. He appeared to be considering the plan.

“I believe that would be the wisest choice,” Thor said eventually.

It looked like Fury was about to have a heart attack. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he yelled.

“I would never jest about summoning a demon,” Thor told him, all sincerity. Thank god Tony could still see the funny in this increasingly insane situation.

“They have the King of Hell on speed-dial,” Bucky offered.

Thor nodded. “I am sure he will be able to provide invaluable aid.”

Fury threw his hands up. “Are none of you listening to the crazy here?” he asked.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Because everything about us is so normal.” Sassy Steve was definitely in charge today. Tony thought.

Fury’s eye blazed. “I called you here to have a rational discussion!”

“Then you called the wrong team,” Bruce drawled, well under control once more.

“I like them,” Dean confessed to Clint.

“Like you, we’re an acquired taste,” Clint said with a grin. Dean tipped an imaginary hat at him.

“So, how do we summon this demon?” Wilson asked. “I’m assuming there’s blood involved.”

Everyone stared at him. “What?” he asked. “I read.” He nodded at Bucky. “Barnes loaded those Supernatural books onto my Kindle.” 

Tony flinched. “Seriously, you’re really not using the StarkReader?” Perfecting the reader had been tough but in the future it was….and the memory slipped through his mind like water.

Wilson shook his head. “It’s too big and heavy. Stop asking me the same stupid questions, Tony.”

“One day, when I find Edlund…” Dean threatened.

“This is all your fault.” Fury pointed at Tony.

“Hey!” Tony protested. “I didn’t bring in the Brothers Grimm here!”

Dean looked offended. Sam just laughed.

“Can we please get back to the issue at hand?” Coulson sounded as though he was standing on his last nerve. And it was jabbing him in the gonads.

“Remind us again?” Clint’s cheeky grin had Tony smiling too. “What is the issue?”

Coulson just made a silent throat-slitting motion that was terrifying. Tony lifted a hand to his own neck. Clint subsided with a grumble.

“We’ll need some ingredients,” Sam said. “Most of the stuff we’ve got, but we’re also going to need some shavings from the crown before Thor takes it back to ….”

“Asgard,” Thor supplied helpfully.

“Asgard,” Sam repeated, shaking his head. “The home of the gods.”

“It’s even better than you could possibly imagine,” Jane confided, leaning around Thor.

“This is almost as good as that time with TNW and the wrestlers,” Dean told Sam.

“Only with less spandex,” Sam agreed with a grin.

“Oh, that comes later,” Tony assured them.

Dean’s eyes literally danced with glee. Tony _really_ wanted to go drinking with him.

“This is getting us nowhere,” Steve said, banging a hand on the table. “We have a legitimate threat from someone we have no control over. Can you all please fucking focus?” He ended on a shout.

“Language,” Tony sang. Steve’s flat stare turned on him.

“Not. Helping.” Steve gritted.

Tony sighed. Sassy Steve had been put away and it looked like Serious Steve was back in the building.

“We’re focused, babe,” Tony promised. “Like lasers. We even have a plan.” He waved a hand at Sam and Dean. “Well, part of a plan,” he amended.

“I should have taken accounting,” Fury told the room at large.

“I can’t see you as a little grey man,” Rhodey said. “You’re too attached to leather.” 

Fury put his head in his hand. “I give up.” He waved the other hand. “Get the hell out of here. Do whatever you want.”

They all stayed seated. Fury lifted his head. “I’m serious, you fuckers! Get out of my building!”

Tony stared at Fury. “I think we broke him,” he whispered to Steve.

“Bound to happen eventually,” Wilson said. “I mean, he’s dealing with you and Barnes on a daily basis.”

Tony flipped him off. “Fuck you,” he said. “I’m a delight.”

“Sure you are,” Clint said. “How many assistants have you been through this year?” 

“None!” Tony pointed at Natasha. “Nat keeps me honest.”

“I threaten to cut off your balls and feed them to you,” Natasha said. “Your fear keeps you honest.”

Dean choked on a laugh. “And I thought our lives were nuts,” he said to Sam.

“At least we don’t deal with angels every day,” Bucky said. “They seem like a real bunch of dicks.”

Dean flung his arms out. “See!” Tony wasn’t sure who he was talking to. “I keep saying that and those stupid fangirls of that stupid dickhead, Edlund, keep frothing about them.”

Coulson stood. “Perhaps we should take this back to Avengers Tower,” he suggested. “I think we have presumed on Director Fury long enough.”

Tony snorted. “Suck-up,” he muttered. Coulson turned that flat, scary stare on him.

Tony was moving a moment later, the rest of the team hot on his heels. Coulson was not a guy you messed with. He scared Tony more than Natasha did. Only because he seemed to be the only person Natasha genuinely respected. That spoke volumes to Tony.

He was really glad Coulson was on their team.


	15. we have swallowed him up, they said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers and the Winchesters make a chilling realisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apolgies for the delay in posting. I broke my thumb and am only now able to type without howling iin pain. Sexy times are coming. STG.

They stood outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. as Thor, Jane, Wanda and Vision disappeared into the golden light of the Bifröst. They were taking the shortest route to the tower to collect the Serpent Crown before heading to Asgard.

“He’s like the world’s best _and_ worst house-guest,” Tony mused, staring down at the singed grass. 

Steve rubbed at his eyes. “War Machine, Falcon, I need you to advise the President.” Whenever Steve handed out orders, he reverted to their team names. Tony thought that it was kind of cute watching Steve attempt to differentiate between his friends and his subordinates.

Rhodey nodded. “I figured you might.”

“Why do _I_ have to go?” Wilson whined. He hated missing any action.

Steve’s eyes went flinty. “Because apart from me and Bucky, you’re the only two enlisted men and the Secret Service has cleared you.”

“Plus, I think the President might actually have the mark of Set, so Cap needs you to keep an eye on him.” Bruce’s words had them all staring at him. “Right?” C raised an eyebrow at Steve.

Steve sighed. “I wish you all weren’t so damn smart,” he muttered.

Wilson swallowed hard. “Wait, you’re serious?” he asked, staring at Steve. 

“We didn’t see anything on him,” Sam said, but he didn’t refute Steve’s idea.

“Makes sense,” Tony admitted. “Leader of the free world, and all.” He looked at Rhodey. “Be careful,” he warned. “We don’t know what powers Set has given his minions.”

“So we’re accepting this as fact?” Wilson asked them.

“Do you want to take the chance that it isn’t?” Coulson responded. “If he isn’t marked, then he needs the protection. If he is, then he might need to be taken down.”

“It’s the fucking _President_!” Wilson exclaimed.

“He has the codes to the nuclear weapons stored around the country,” Steve countered. “Are you prepared to take the risk, because I sure as shit am not.”

Tony watched Wilson struggle with the idea that he might have to kill the most powerful man on the planet. “Fuck.”

“Exactly,” Steve said. “Just remember, some of his staff might also be Set’s followers, so keep your guard up.”

Rhodey nodded. “And what are the rest of you going to do?” he asked.

“We’re going to summon a demon,” Steve said with absolutely no irony.

Tony adored him.

~o0o~

The ride back to the tower was almost completely silent. Happy kept looking at them through the rear view mirror as though he was waiting for something to explode.

“So,” Tony said, because silence _really_ wasn’t his forte. “What does one need to summon a demon god from another dimension?”

Sam and Dean exchanged looks. “Wilson was right about the blood,” Sam said eventually. “I reckon it would be similar to the ritual we use for Crowley?” He seemed to be asking Dean.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed. “Sammy is the king of the casting, but I’m the one who generally gives my blood so that he can focus.”

“We need a clay or bone china bowl, some herbs, a few candles and the incantation,” Sam said. “We’ve got that covered.”

Steve nodded. “And you said something about some metal shavings from the crown?”

“Thor said he’d take care of that and leave the shavings in the safe back at the tower,” Natasha said.

Sam leaned back into the soft leather. “The only other thing we’d need then is a sigil, something to represent Set.”

“What about the mark?” Tony suggested, holding his hand up and spreading his fingers like the mark they’d seen. 

“The one that’s showing up on people?” Sam asked.

“Seems like an easy option,” Coulson agreed, nodding.

Sam looked deep in thought. “Too easy though. Usually it’s more obscure,” he said, almost to himself. “The black hand is the mark he’s using to control humans. We need the mark that controls him.”

“There was another symbol we came across,” Bruce interjected. “But if I remember correctly it was less associated with Set.”

“Yeah!” Sam pointed at Bruce. “A dragon or something like that?”

Bruce nodded. “It was a scaled serpent coiled with its tail in its mouth.”

“Well, that seems even more obvious than the hand,” Tony said.

“But that’s why I think it could be the power sigil,” Sam said. “The hand is like a puppet master controlling the strings. The serpent is who Set _is_.”

“Okay, that sounds plausible.” Steve acknowledged. He tapped his chin. “What would we do with it though?”

“We’d create a circle capable of holding Set and then summon him using the sigil.” Sam got animated, hands moving as he tried to describe the spell.

“How do you know what will hold him?” Tony was a dreamer, but he had a practical mind.

“Crowley is the most powerful demon around and he gave us the spell to contain Lucifer.” Sam sounded so offhanded about it that Tony boggled.

“Lucifer?” He wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. “As in, the Devil?” He made the horns over his head and Steve smacked at him.

Dean sighed. “The one the church has used to scare the kids into being obedient for centuries, yeah.” He met Tony’s gaze. “But trust us when we say, what you’ve read about the douche is only about half as bad as he really is.” Dean’s eyes slid over to where Sam sat, thumb pressing his palm.

There was a story there, Tony thought. When Sam lifted his head, the misery in them made Tony feel light-headed. “He’s a bad guy,” Sam said with what was clearly understatement. “But Dean and I, that’s what we do. We take care of demons.”

Yeah, definitely a _lot_ more story there.

Steve looked troubled. “We can’t just be expected to rely on you two to fix this.” He lifted his eyes to look around the car. “It’s our job to protect humanity.”

“It’s been _our_ job for all our lives,” Dean said. “Saving people, hunting things.” He’d said that a good few times before, Tony reckoned.

“Wait.” Sam put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Set’s symbol…”

“The hand?” Clint asked.

Sam shook his head. “No, the other one.”

“The snake eating its tail,” Natasha said.

He nodded. “That’s….The Bible…Revelation.”

Tony was already typing in his phone. “Yeah, something just pinged with me too.”

He found what he was looking for. “Chapter 12,” Tony said, lifting the phone to read: “ _And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him._ ”

There was a stunned silence. 

“Well, that’s just motherfucking wonder-fucking-ful!” Dean spat a second later.

“Just a minute,” Coulson held up a hand. “Are you saying that…?”

“Set is Lucifer, yeah.” Sam slumped back against Dean. “God, I thought we were done with him.”

Dean moved so that Sam’s head fell on his shoulder. “He’s not coming anywhere near you, Sammy. No fucking way.” Tony wondered if they were even aware they weren’t alone.

“I can’t, Dean.” Sam’s voice was small and exhausted. “Not again.”

“I’m not saying I know what the heck you’re talking about,” Steve said, keeping his voice even. “But whatever you did before, this time you’ve got back-up.” His mouth was firm.

Dean’s eyes were bleak. “He keeps trying to take Sam from me.” He tugged Sam closer. “He’s a real sonofabitch.” Yeah, Tony wasn’t touching that one.

“So basically we’re dealing with the Devil?” Natasha’s perfect eyebrows arched in enquiry.

Sam nodded, eyes closing. “Almost nothing you know about him is true,” he murmured, nodding off against Dean’s shoulder. “He lies really well. Makes you believe him.”

Tony opened his mouth to ask a question but closed it when Steve shook his head, lifting a finger to his lips. He looked at Dean. “Thanks,” Dean mouthed at Steve.

Tony flopped onto Steve, feeling Bucky scoot up on his other side. “We’re not far from the tower,” he said, keeping his voice low. “I’ve instructed F.R.I.D.A.Y. to prepare a suite for you two. I guessed you didn’t want to be separated.” 

The lack of judgment in his tone had Dean smiling a little at him. “Thanks,” Dean whispered. “A good night’s rest might be just what we need. Clear heads and all that shit.”

“There’s a set of rooms for you too, Agent,” Tony told Coulson.

“Thank you,” Coulson said. His mouth curved in an almost smile. Tony wanted to take a picture.

Tony realized suddenly that the day was almost over while they’d been at S.H.I.E.L.D. “Anyone hungry?” he asked. 

All hands went up, Dean holding Sam’s floppy arm up as well. “Happy, let’s make a quick stop at Mama’s. I’m feeling the need for some of that deep fried chicken.”

“The peach cobbler is killer,” Bruce added.

“Sold,” Dean declared.

“Pie,” Sam mumbled. “Dean would sell his soul for pie.”

Dean poked him with a sharp finger. “Hey, bitch, don’t go telling all my secrets now.” His face was soft as he stared down at Sam. “Besides, you know I got no soul.”

“But I’m not a soldier,” Sam sang quietly. 

Tony wanted to look away.

~o0o~

 

Mama’s lived up to the hype as usual, and they stumbled into the tower about an hour later, sated and sleepy.

“Everyone, get a good night’s rest,” Steve ordered. “I’ve got a feeling that tomorrow is going to be a crapshoot.”

They trooped into the elevator, giving the controls to F.R.I.D.A.Y. They filed out at each floor, Clint, then Coulson and the Winchesters, Bruce and Natasha, and then finally Tony, Steve and Bucky were alone.

“Soooo….” Tony drawled. “Your suite or mine?” He waggled his eyebrows at them.

Steve’s smile was painfully sweet for a guy who was about to be thoroughly debauched. “I think you have the bigger bed,” he said.

“It’s total over-compensation,” Tony confessed. “I have a tiny dick.”

Bucky snorted a laugh. “False modesty is extremely unattractive, Stark.”

Tony grinned at him. “Nothing false about my modesty, Barnes.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “You two are so bad at this,” he said.

“Dean!” Tony exclaimed. “We should get Dean to be the guy you two pick up to prove who has the most game!” He hadn’t forgotten their conversation from a couple of days ago.

Steve and Bucky exchanged glances. “Okay,” Steve shrugged. “I’m up for the challenge.”

“Sam might kill us, but what a way to go,” Bucky said.

Tony narrowed his gaze at them. “That was _too_ easy,” he said. The doors of the elevator slid open at the top floor and they stepped out. He balked. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“What?” Steve put a hand at Tony’s back, steering him towards the bedroom. “Us?”

Tony realized that while he’d been having a semi-hysterical internal freak-out about possibly having sex with Steve _and_ Bucky, the other two had already made some sort of deal. “Wait a minute,” he said, balking at the door to his bedroom. “What’s going on here? What have you two been discussing while I was …?”

“Sulking in your workroom like a baby?” Bucky asked, mouth quirked in that annoyingly smug and unfairly sexy grin. The one they saw so rarely that Tony counted each one of them.

Steve didn’t let up on the pressure. “You can just tell us if you’re not comfortable with something,” he told Tony in what was supposed to be a reassuring croon. “We’ll stop whenever you want.”

Tony turned to stare at Steve. “You’re giving me the _it’s okay to say no_ speech?” He wasn’t sure if he was offended or charmed.

Steve’s mouth curved even as his eyes twinkled. “Now, that would be just dumb, Tony.”

Tony sputtered a little, distracted enough not to notice he’d been backed up against his bed. He swung his head to glare at Bucky. “You’re _stalking_ me!” he exclaimed. Definitely excited.

“It’s what we call a tag-team,” Bucky said, asshole smirk firmly in place.

Tony snorted. 

“It’s okay, Tony,” Steve assured him. “You’re in charge.” Those unfairly beautiful eyes gleamed.

“Damn right,” Tony declared as he stumbled back onto the bed. “Fuck.” He scowled up at them. “I’m usually a lot smoother than this.”

Bucky grinned at him. “We’re waiting in anticipation,” he said.

Tony got naked.

Fast.


	16. all night I stretched my arms across him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times at last! Also, there may be a twist in the tail...tale?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hand is much better :D So hopefully I'll be getting back to weekly updates. Thanks for hanging in there...I hope you enjoy

Bucky kissed like he lived – fast, hard and desperate. 

Steve kissed like he lived – soft, slow and careful. 

Tony couldn’t decide which he preferred more. Then he remembered that he didn’t have to choose. He got to have both.

“Stop thinking so hard, Stark,” Bucky muttered into his hip. “I can see the smoke rising from here.”

Steve snorted. As he was kissing Tony, it was a surprisingly gross experience. Tony shoved at his shoulder. “At the risk of sounding like a six year-old, ew.”

Steve grinned down at him, eyes bright and happy. “You haven’t stopped though,” he pointed out, looking down to where Tony’s hand was wrapped around his dick.

“Meh,” Tony tried to shrug, but Bucky’s bulk held him down. “I’m a selfish, petty man. There are many things I will tolerate in the quest for great sex.” 

Bucky sucked a hickey on his thigh. “I hope you don’t think that this is how it’s always going to go?” he asked. “We’re equal opportunity fuckers and fuckees.”

“Buck…”

Tony cackled at Steve’s blush. “Babe, we’re in the middle of a threesome. No place for the vapors.”

Steve nipped at Tony’s shoulder. “You’re awfully mouthy for a guy who’s at the mercy of two legendary superheroes.” 

Tony laughed harder. “Legendary, huh?” He had a joke about that, he really did, but just then Bucky licked at the head of his cock as though it was the best sort of lollipop. Tony’s hand slackened, dropping away from Steve to gape at Bucky.

“Sweet baby Jesus,” Tony moaned as Bucky made a meal of him. Watching Bucky moving, sucking made Tony get even harder. He wanted to come, but Bucky had a firm grip at the base of his dick, holding off Tony’s orgasm like the asshole he was.

“No.” Steve’s voice was firm. “You clearly need to learn about control.” He moved around behind Tony, pulling him back and up into the vee of his legs. His cock was hard against Tony’s back. 

Tony had a vision of a leather collar and a quirt. It made him whine. “I’ve changed my mind,” he told them breathlessly. “I don’t want this anymore.”

Bucky lifted his head, mouth wet and lips swollen. He raised an eyebrow. “Okay.” 

He started moving away and Tony grabbed for his head. “Don’t you dare, you bastard,” Tony growled. “You’d better finish what you started.”

“Or?” Bucky asked, smirking. 

Tony hated him.

“I’ll think of something,” Tony promised, mind a blank, staring at him. 

Bucky’s smirk widened. “Sex makes you stupid, doesn’t it?”

Steve snorted another laugh, this time against Tony’s neck.

“Shut up,” Tony muttered, trying for menacing and failing completely. 

Steve was still, suddenly serious. “This isn’t a game,” he said. “It’s not something I take lightly.”

Tony felt Bucky’s finger at his hole, making him hiss. “I know that,” he said on a shaky breath. “It means everything to me too.”

Steve smiled. “Tony Stark, closet romantic?” he teased at Tony’s ear.

“”Kiss me, you asshole,” Tony ordered. 

“You keep doing whatever you two are doing up there,” Bucky said. “I’m pretty happy right where I am.” He lifted one of Tony’s legs over his shoulder. 

Tony couldn’t look away from him, halfway to uncomfortable at being so exposed.

The first touch of Bucky’s mouth against his hole had Tony arching up on the bed. Steve’s big arms wrapped around him from behind. “Fuck!” Tony gasped for air. Being held down was apparently a thing for Tony too.

“Lube.” Bucky wasn’t asking. Tony flailed a hand towards the bedside table. 

Steve leaned over, still holding on to Tony. He scrabbled around a little until he crowed in triumph. “Seriously, you need to do some cleaning in there, Tony,” Steve told him as he straightened.

Bucky snapped his fingers. “You can play happy house husband later,” he told Steve. “Right now, I’d like to make sure Tony’s first experience with us contains as little pain as possible.”

“That would be excellent,” Tony agreed. “There’s a reason I invented a semi-indestructible suit to keep me safe. Me? Not so much with the pain.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and squirted lube onto his fingers. The fingers on his metal arm. Yeah, Tony was totally discovering kinks he had no idea he had.

“Hold on tight, Stevie,” Bucky said as he pressed one finger in.

“Holy fucking fuck!” Tony howled as the cool metal breeched him. It felt alien, smooth and with zero give. “Buck.” He wasn’t sure if he was telling him to stop or begging him to continue.

“Mm.” Bucky bent down again, pushing his tongue in next to his finger. 

Tony was so busy watching the Bucky Barnes show that he’d forgotten Steve. Although how that was possible with those ridiculous muscles holding him close Tony wasn’t sure.

“Tony.” Steve’s voice was a rasp in his ear. “You’re so fucking gorgeous like this.” He reached down to Tony’s cock, pushing Bucky’s fingers away. Bucky glared up at Steve for a moment and then shrugged. He continued fucking into Tony with his finger and his tongue, stripping him of every illusion of restraint.

With Steve working his dick and Bucky working his ass, Tony wondered how his little backflip in time had resulted in this completely surreal experience. He wasn’t questioning things, no sir, but he’d fight even harder to keep Steve like this. 

Alive and in his bed.

“Thinking again,” Bucky complained as he lifted his head. “Stop.”

Oh yeah, definitely a kink they would have to explore, Tony thought hazily as they took him apart.

~o0o~

The morning sun filtered through the drapes. F.R.I.D.A.Y. adjusted them to allow Tony to wake up slowly, in increments. Everyone had learned to let it happen rather than experience a Tony Stark woken too quickly.

He yawned, lifting his arms above his head in a luxurious stretch. He stopped abruptly when he realized he was flanked by two bodies.

“Huh,” he mused out loud. “Not a dream then?”

Bucky mumbled something in German and shuffled closer, his face mashed against Tony’s neck.

“Morning.” Steve’s soft greeting had Tony lift his head. “You snore.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “I do not.”

“I can ask your invisible robot butler to play back the recording I asked her to make,” Steve said. His eyes were gleaming.

“Such an asshole,” Tony sighed, dropping his head back down to the pillow. “Have you just been lying here staring at me, you giant creep?” he asked.

Steve grinned. “I put a feather over your mouth. It was fun watching it trying to fly.”

Tony sputtered a laugh. Steve’s humor always startled him. “Why do I like you again?” he asked.

“He’s great in the sack,” Bucky slurred against his skin. “Shut the fuck up and let me sleep.”

Tony shoved at Bucky’s shoulder. “No rest for the wicked, Buckeroo,” he said, laughing when Bucky rolled off the bed.

Steve sighed, getting off the bed on the other side and going to where Bucky was lying. “I’m embarrassed for you, Buck. Letting a civilian get the jump on you like that.” He hauled Bucky to his feet. “As your commanding officer….” Bucky shut him up with his mouth.

Tony watched them kiss. Two beautiful animals in perfect sync. He rubbed at his chest. They’d missed out on so much in his previous time line. He blinked. More and more was fading. He remembered less of his life of the past two years, filling instead with new memories of a love that had literally stood the test of time.

“He’s got that look on his face again.” Bucky’s voice brought him back to the present. He blinked again, admiring how they looked together. 

“God, you’re pretty,” he blurted. Two pairs of blue eyes turned to him. It was just this side of too much being the focus of their attention. Tony felt stripped naked in more ways than one.

“I’m up!” Tony declared, launching himself off the bed. “Places to go, Satan to kill.” He hustled to the bathroom, aware that he was trailed by Steve and Bucky. He handed them each a disposable toothbrush, passing the toothpaste over when he’d put his own on.

“That’s one fucking huge shower, Stark,” Bucky noted, leaning against the doorframe, brushing his teeth idly as he looked around him.

“We should shower together,” Tony said around his toothbrush. “Save water. Protect the environment.” He was distracted by the miles of flesh in front of him. Neither Steve nor Bucky seemed to be particularly worried that they were nude. It had taken years for Tony not to flinch at the sight of the scar in the center of his own chest. 

“Okay,” Steve shrugged, spitting out the toothpaste foam and rinsing his mouth out. Tony gaped at him as he stepped into the shower, lifting his head as the warm water immediately started falling. It appeared that a sexually satisfied Steve was a hedonistic Steve.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You getting in?” he asked. Tony took a breath. “You think too much, Tony.” He walked to where Tony stood with his toothbrush hanging limply. 

“You say that a lot,” Tony told him.

Bucky cupped Tony’s face in his hands. “You need to feel more,” he said, pressing his lips to Tony’s. His mouth tasted of toothpaste and something else, something sweet that Tony wanted to bottle and keep forever.

They kissed slowly, lazily, learning each other’s mouths. Tony hadn’t had much of a chance to kiss Bucky last night. Steve had been too busy with that.

Bucky slowly edged him towards the shower, stopping only when Tony backed into Steve. “Hi there.” Tony turned to Steve, loving the sight of that familiar smile. 

“Hi,” Tony replied, bringing his arms around Steve’s waist. “You look happy to see me.” He waggled his eyebrows obnoxiously.

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve told him. 

But he stayed there in Tony’s arms, smiling at him.

Alive.

~o0o~

Dean and Sam were in the kitchen when they finally came down. Steve had ridiculous beard burn down the side of his neck that Tony was exceptionally proud of.

Dean’s little smirk and Steve’s subsequent blush made Tony want to _swagger_. “Morning,” Dean drawled. “Looks like someone had a good night.”

Bucky came in behind Steve with a matching burn. Dean’s eyebrows went high. “A _very_ good night,” he amended.

Sam kept his head down, but Tony could totally see the grin on his pretty face. “I am a rock star,” Tony announced.

“A cock star,” Dean replied. Steve choked on the gulp of coffee he’d just taken. Tony bumped the fist Dean held out.

“I hate you all.” Clint’s voice had Tony turning around. He hadn’t noticed him perched on the counter in the corner, curled around a large cup of coffee.

“I’m a sharer,” Tony told him, walking over and stealing his mug. He grimaced at the first sip. “God, you’re a complete heathen, Barton, this is swill.”

“Nobody knows how to work that machine.” Clint pointed at the coffee maker squatting on the counter next to him. “I think you need to be an astronaut.”

“Or you could just ask F.R.I.D.A.Y.” The machine burbled into life at Tony’s words. He stood in front of it, wondering if intravenous coffee drips would become a thing one day.

He grabbed the cup that eased out of the belly of his favorite beast, breathing in the life-giving fumes. “Ah, hot, black caffeine, how I love you.”

“Thanks.” Natasha plucked the cup out of his hands, arching an eyebrow when he opened his mouth to protest.

“No, really, go ahead with the coffee theft.” Tony grumbled, turning back to the next cup.

“You really shouldn’t have, Tony,” Bruce helped himself before Tony could get there. Tony’s eyes narrowed. “I’m feeling a little green today so this will definitely do the trick.” 

Everyone took a breath. 

Bruce took a sip and sighed. 

Everyone else breathed a little sigh of relief in response.

Tony knew they were being manipulated, but even the smallest chance of the Other Guy showing up ensured his cooperation.

“Heard anything from the others?” Clint asked, sneakily snatching the next cup that emerged.

Tony wanted to howl, but the dark rings under Clint’s eyes stopped him. “Rhodey is so pissed,” he said. “I’ve had about a million texts telling me how difficult the President is being.”

“Have either of them spotted a mark?” Bruce asked.

Tony shook his head. “Rhodey says no, but he’s not seen the President naked yet so he can’t say for sure.” They all blinked.

“That’s something that he and Wilson are planning?” Natasha asked.

“Falcon says that at least one of the Secret Service agents assigned to the President has the mark,” Steve said, trying to steer the conversation to safer topics.

“He been taken out?” Clint asked.

“Director Fury has dealt with the situation,” Coulson said as he walked into the kitchen, looking fresh, as though he wasn’t wearing the same clothes he’d worn yesterday.

“Agent,” Tony sighed, handing him the next cup. 

“You’re becoming a real boy, Stark,” Coulson said with a smirk. “Thank you.”

Tony gritted his teeth, wanting to take it back. “You’re welcome.” He didn’t mean it at all.

Coulson stood beside Clint, leaning a little against his legs. Tony watched as Clint subconsciously adjusted his position, taking a little more weight. He was happy to see that some things were progressing as they should. 

Dean got to his feet, heading for the coffee machine. “Please sir,” he begged, holding his cup out to Tony. “Save me from the swill.”

Sam put his head on the table, shoulders shaking. 

“Oh my god,” Bruce moaned. “It’s bad enough that we have to deal with Tony and Bucky, now we have another one.”

“Hey!” Bucky protested. “I’m not that bad.”

The response to that was instantaneous. 

Everyone laughed.

~o0o~

When they’d all eaten and satisfied their various levels of coffee addiction, they made their way to the living area where a couple of battered duffels had been tossed onto a sofa.

“My eyes are offended,” Tony said, looking at the Winchesters. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. please make a note to get them new luggage.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied. “Should I order Louis Vuitton or Prada?”

“Oh hell no,” Dean said. “A thousand nopes and then another ten thousand.”

Tony glared at him. “Those. Are. Ugly.” He pointed an accusing finger at the duffels.

“Those. Are. Ours.” Dean replied. 

Tony slumped. “Fine, but put them somewhere I can’t see them,” he said. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. cancel that order.”

“Yes, sir,” she said.

Sam zipped one of the duffels open, pulling out a bowel and something that looked suspiciously like a pestle and mortar.

“What are we cooking?” Clint asked around a bagel.

“Hopefully Lucifer, that son of a bitch,” Dean growled, opening the other duffel. The knife he pulled out was impressive. 

Tony knew that because of the expression on Natasha’s face. She was impressed. Well, her nostrils had flared a little, and her thumb had twitched. As good as it gets.

“Demon knife,” Sam said, obviously reading Natasha’s micro-expressions. “Pretty useful in a fight.”

“With demons.” Bruce’s voice was flat. “How has this become our lives?”

Tony cleared his throat. “Super soldiers from World War Two. Thunder god from Asgard. Gamma-rayed green rage monster. Deadly assassins who can’t be killed. Genius, billionaire, philanthropist super-hero in a suit.” He shrugged. “Can anything _really_ surprise us anymore?”

Bruce sighed. “But we’re talking about the Devil.” He took off his glasses and scrubbed at his face. “A religious construct used to terrify people in the Middle Ages.”

“He’s real.” Sam didn’t look up from where he was grinding something. 

“You’ve met him?” Clint asked. “You said something earlier about Lucifer trying to take you away.”

“I’ve met him.” Sam lifted his head. “He possessed me some time back. Locked me up in the Cage with him for a while. It broke something in me.”

“Fuck that!” Dean spat. “You’re not his bitch anymore and I won’t let him fuck you over again.” His hand shook as he reached out to Sam.

“Why?” Coulson wasn’t sitting with them. He held himself aloof, standing back. “Why does he want you so badly?”

Sam flinched, looking away again. “I’m his true vessel.” He said it so quietly that it could have been a whisper. “I’m the only one who can allow him to manifest safely in human form.”

“Uh…” Bucky sounded about as confused as Tony felt. “Say what?”

“Lucifer likes wearing Sammy as his meatsuit,” Dean said with a snarl. 

Steve frowned, obviously working something out in his head. “According to Biblical canon, Lucifer was a son of God.” 

Sam nodded. “One of the archangels. Sinned and thrown to earth.”

“About a million daddy issues, which I can totally relate to,” Tony added. “What about the other archangels?” He frowned. “There are about six of them, right?”

“Any of them think _you’re_ their human?” Steve asked Dean. 

Tony always forgot just how _smart_ Steve was. He wasn’t someone who was followed simply because he was the biggest and the prettiest.

“Yeah,” Dean rasped. “Michael wanted a Winchester too.”

“How come he didn’t get you then?” Bruce asked. “I mean, if Lucifer got Sam?”

“Because our other brother said yes to Michael instead,” Sam said. “And he’s still down there, in the Pit, at Lucifer’s mercy.” There was a collective shudder. Even if you didn’t believe in the Horned One, you didn’t want to be in his clutches.

“How do we get him out?” Steve asked. “I mean, if we’re taking on the Devil, we might as well make it a rescue mission too.” He met Sam’s shocked gaze. “Let’s not bring him here. Let’s take the fight to him.”

“You want us to go to Hell?” Dean’s eyes were as wide as Sam’s. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Steve shrugged. “How hard can it be? I mean we’ve been to Asgard. Tony’s taken a trip through a rip in the universe. An excursion to Hell sounds like fun.”

“Fun?” Sam stared at him. “Are you for real?”

“And people call us the psychotic ones,” Dean said, flopping back against the sofa. “Sure, we’ll just take the detour through Purgatory and take on the Devil himself.” He laughed. He didn’t sound like he thought it was funny.

“Okay.” Steve clapped his hands together. “How do we do this?” 

Tony’s feet suddenly felt very hot indeed.


	17. we are breathing river water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a plan. There is totally a plan. Until the plan changes. Eh....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is certainly heading in an unexpected direction. Thanks for hanging on for the ride

Several arguments later, they’d agreed that only a small team was going on the mission. Steve and Bucky had both insisted, a manic light in their eyes. Tony thought that the idea of taking on Hell itself was disturbingly a turn-on for them.

Bruce had opted to sit this one out, mostly because he had no idea how the Other Guy would react when he hit Hell, but also because someone needed to stay behind. Clint and Natasha had both seemed far too eager to face Old Nick.

That left Coulson and Tony arguing their case.

“Someone needs to take the lead if something happens to us,” Steve said, shaking his head at Tony. “You’re the other team leader, you need to stay.”

“How about, fuck no?” Tony asked. “As if I’m letting you crazy kids out of my sight. Who knows what shenanigans you’ll get up to without me to keep an eye on you?”

Steve’s flat look spoke volumes. Bruce hid his laugh in his hand, the traitor. Coulson’s dry, “Please,” didn’t help either.

“Responsible member of society notwithstanding, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come with us.” Steve was digging his heels in, and stubborn Steve was Tony’s least favorite Steve.

“Don’t think I haven’t spotted the sarcasm, mister,” Tony said, glaring at him. “I’m not negotiating on this.”

“I don’t know if your armor will be able to make it all the way into Hell,” Sam interjected with an apologetic shrug.

“I wasn’t just sulking in my rooms when I came back to New York, you know,” Tony told them. “I was actually making some major adjustments to my suit.”

The skeptical expression on their faces made him want to do grievous bodily harm. “I’m being serious.” He held out his arms. The cuffs weren’t as small as he’d managed to make them in the future, but they were a way better option than lugging the armor around in a briefcase or having to wait for it to come when called.

“Pretty,” Bucky said. “Not sure if they’re doing anything for your outfit though.” 

“That’s why you’re my favorite,” Tony told him with a grin. Bucky winked at him.

He shook his wrists, and the armor slipped out over his skin like liquid metal. Within about two seconds, Tony was covered. “Ta-da!” He did the jazz hands just to piss Steve off.

“How did you do that?” Bruce was on his feet a moment later, running his hands over the armor.

“Not that I’m not enjoying being felt up by you, Brucie-bear, but this is getting into awkward boner territory,” Tony drawled and Bruce snatched his hands away with a muttered curse.

“You are infantile,” Coulson told him.

Tony tapped his palm and the armor slid back into its new and shiny carry-on. “You’re just jealous,” he told Coulson, manfully avoiding sticking his tongue out. 

“Perhaps Colonel Rhodes might appreciate the upgrade?” Coulson suggested. “After all, he’s out there facing Set’s minions.”

Tony _really_ hated him. “I don’t want to be surrounded by reasonable people,” he declared. “My genius needs wings, not lead balloons.”

“I think you might have lost control of this conversation,” Dean stage-whispered to Steve. 

“I thought Dean was high maintenance,” Sam said. “He’s easy like Sunday morning compared to Tony.”

Tony slumped against Steve. “Don’t leave me behind,” he pleaded, opting for sincerity. “I’d go out of my mind if you did.” He refused to consider the possibility of time trying to reset itself and making sure Steve died. The only way he’d know that Steve was safe was if he was with him.

Steve stared down at him. “What’s going on, Tony?” he asked, keeping his voice low. As if that was going to stop the other nosey-parkers from listening in.

Tony’s gaze flicked to Bruce and from the sympathetic expression, he knew that Bruce understood.

“I think perhaps it would be good to have Iron Man with you,” Coulson said, cool and calm. Tony gaped at him. “He’s the only one of us here with the ability to fly, and it may come in handy down….there.” He waved a hand at the floor.

Tony cleared his throat. “What he said.” He flailed his hand at Coulson. “Agent knows best.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you supporting him in this?” he asked Coulson. Tony held his breath. Coulson and Bruce were the only ones who knew why he was here, that he was here at all.

“Personally, he’s irresponsible and impetuous.” Tony opened his mouth to protest, and Coulson held his hand up. “But professionally, he will do everything in his power to ensure that you all return home alive.” He met Tony’s gaze. “If Dr. Banner cannot be there then Tony is the best alternative.”

“Alternative?” Tony bleated. “I’m not some twelfth man who gets substituted at the eleventh hour!” His heart was beating too fast. 

“Fine.” Steve heaved a sigh, poking Tony in the ribs. “But you’d better obey orders.”

Tony gave a mock shiver. “Ooh, I love it when you get all Captain-y on me.” Steve went bright red. It was _adorable_.

Bucky dropped his head onto Steve’s shoulder and laughed.

~o0o~

Dean pulled out a battered leather-bound book, turning open to a page near the back.

“That looks like it’s been some places,” Clint noted. Tony spotted the barely perceptible flinch Dean gave, and the small nudge that Sam made against his thigh. 

“It was our father’s,” Sam said. “He kept a record of all of the monsters he fought, how to kill them, how to save the humans. We started adding to it when he died.”

“Sounds like a wonderfully terrifying read,” Tony said, watching Dean.

His eyes were shuttered. “It’s our history,” Dean said. 

“So, it’s like a script to the scariest Hollywood movie in the world?” Tony kept it light.

“Access to Purgatory?” Steve asked, playing the straight man to Tony’s joker.

“We need someone to guide us there.” Sam didn’t look at Dean, and hoo-boy, Tony thought, there was a story in the tightening of Dean’s jaw.

“Someone like?” Bucky got up, restless in a way that Tony hadn’t noticed before. And maybe it was due to the drugs that Hydra had plunged into his blood, but Bucky sometimes reminded him of an animal bred to kill.

“A vampire, wendigo, werewolf…” Dean rubbed at his eyes. “Purgatory isn’t the place the church has taught you to believe in.”

“Apparently nothing is,” Bruce muttered, hunching over on his seat. 

Natasha ran a hand over his hair. “What is Purgatory then?” she asked, watchful eyes on the Winchesters.

“It’s the place the monsters go when they…when we…” Sam shrugged. “It’s their afterlife.”

“Hold on a minute.” Steve leaned forward. “You’re saying that Hell is for humans, and Purgatory is for monsters?”

“Hell is for humans and _demons_ ,” Dean corrected.

“And is Heaven real?” Clint’s question was soft. Tony’s heart gave a thump.

Sam looked at Clint. “Heaven is real,” he told him. “It’s a little different to Hell though. Human souls that are bound together share a heaven.”

“Sammy and I share ours,” Dean announced, sounding almost as though he didn’t believe it.

“Wait up.” Bucky leaned on the back of the sofa staring at them. “You’ve been to Heaven _and_ Hell?”

Dean scratched his ear. “If we told you how many times we’ve died, you wouldn’t believe us.”

“That sounds like a story we all need to hear,” Bruce said, looking interested.

“ _After_ the mission,” Steve insisted. “Come on people. Focus.” 

“We need to have a plan in place before haring off half-cocked.” Coulson stepped up behind Clint, put a hand on his shoulder. “Perhaps I can sit here?”

Clint was obviously struggling. What Sam and Dean had told them had shattered something inside him. He nodded, moving along on the sofa so that Coulson could sit beside him. Tony watched as Phil sat down, carefully aligning his thigh so that it was resting against Clint’s. 

“None of us are half-cocked, Agent,” Tony quipped, eyes on Clint. “We’re all fully cocked.”

“I beg your pardon,” Natasha said. “Speak for yourself, Tony.”

He grinned at her, knowing it wasn’t his best effort. “Nat, you are the most cocked of all of us.” Her mouth quirked. Attention was off Clint though, and that was what Tony had been aiming for.

“Tony.” Steve clamped a hand on Tony’s knee. “You’re not helping me here. I’d be quite happy to head out there without aerial support if you’re not going to take this seriously.”

Tony turned his head, met Steve’s eyes. “Oh, I’m serious.” He let Steve see just how much he meant it. “ You’re not leaving me behind on this one. I’ll figure out a way to follow you.”

Steve held his gaze for a heartbeat or two. “You’re a pain in my ass,” he said eventually.

“Now, Capybara, it’s not polite to talk outside of the bedroom,” Tony chided.

Bucky choked on his own spit. Bruce made a whimpering noise, and Clint fell off the sofa, snorting with laughter. 

Steve put his face in his hands. “I hate you so much,” he mumbled.

Tony felt remarkably pleased at the bright eyes and wide smile on Clint’s face. Meeting Coulson’s approving gaze, he wondered when he’d become such a sap.

“Back to the plan,” Sam said, his kaleidoscope eyes twinkling with laughter, “Any of you happen to know a vampire or a werewolf?”

“I know a Wolverine,” Clint offered with a grin, setting them off again.

Coulson shook his head, waving a hand at them. “The Avengers, everyone, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.” His tone was droll, but he had a little tilt to the corner of his mouth that was practically a guffaw. “I might be able to help there.”

Everyone turned to stare at him. 

“I haven’t been crying into my milk waiting for you lot to realize my value,” Coulson said, only mildly defensively. “I have a day job.”

Tony gaped. “I thought you were Fury’s right…” he held up his hand to his face. “Left eye.”

Colson heaved a put-upon sigh. “It’s like herding snakes,” he told absolutely nobody.

“I think the phrase is ‘herding cats’,” Sam offered.

Coulson shook his head. “No. Snakes are harder.”

Tony sniggered. “Like a cutting your heart out with a spoon.”

Dean gave a hiccup of laughter. “Because it hurts more?” They shared another fist-bump and Tony watched Steve and Sam give an almost identical put-upon sigh.

“Snakes,” Coulson repeated. “Now, about that vampire?”

“You’ve just got a handy vampire lying around?” Bucky asked, dropping back down onto the sofa, this time at Tony’s side. “Since when is S.H.I.E.L.D. involved with the supernatural? I thought that the mumbo-jumbo crap was all Hydra’s thing?” The anger in Bucky’s voice created a bitter taste in Tony’s mouth.

Coulson’s pale eyes met Bucky’s. “It’s because Hydra decided to expand its interests to the supernatural world that S.H.I.E.L.D. had to change strategy.”

Tony grabbed Bucky’s hand when he saw it clench. “Done.” He said the only word that Bucky needed to hear. The slump of Bucky’s body against his made Tony relax too.

“How do we get this vampire?” Sam asked.

“We’d have to either get him here or go to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ.” Coulson could see the resistance.

“Let’s bring him here,” Steve said. “I’m sure we could handle a single vampire.”

“He’s the Alpha vampire,” Coulson said. “He might be a little more trouble than you’re used to.”

Dean swore. “Fuck! I knew we should have killed that bastard!”

“You know him?” Coulson asked. 

“Long story,” Sam said. “Safe to say, he won’t be happy to see us.”

“I don’t believe I care,” Coulson said. Some days, Agent had balls of steel, Tony thought.

“Oh and in case we didn’t say it, we’re going to have to kill him to gain access to Purgatory.” Dean’s announcement dropped like a stone into the sudden silence.

“What?” Steve didn’t like this new information and it showed in the timbre of his voice. “You didn’t say anything about killing.”

Sam looked at Dean. “We could try to get hold of a reaper.”

“A what?” Tony asked.

“A reaper,” Sam repeated.

“Yeah, that’s not helpful,” Tony said. “What is that?”

“Just what you think it is,” Dean replied. “A reaper of souls, a bus driver to the afterlife.”

“You’re being serious?” Bruce asked. “Is _everything_ in mythology real?”

“Never seen the Loch Ness Monster,” Dean offered. “Otherwise, yeah, pretty much.”

“Unicorns,” Tony breathed, earning himself a patented Captain glare.

“Oh yeah, horny bastards,” Dean said. Tony snickered.

“Do we have to kill a reaper then?” Natasha asked. “I think Steve is trying to avoid having to kill anyone or anything.” Steve flashed her a grateful smile.

“No,” Sam said. “They have the ability to move between the realms of Heaven, Hell, Purgatory and Earth.”

“Bus drivers,” Dean said with a grin.

“Do you happen to know a reaper?” Steve asked.

Both the Winchesters looked supremely uncomfortable. “They’re a bit pissed at me since I killed Death,” Dean admitted.

“You killed….?” Bucky wasn’t the only one gaping at them.

“It didn’t stick,” Dean replied defensively. “He’s forgiven me. I don’t understand why those assholes won’t.”

Sam shook his head. “Because they were stuck in Purgatory while Death was dead and a lot of those monsters had been reaped by them.”

Dean folded his arms. “They can carry a grudge for fucking ever.” He was actually pouting.

“You killed Death?” Bucky didn’t seem able to let that thought go. Bruce looked almost concussed with surprise.

“I could ask Billie again,” Dean said with a grimace.

Sam shook his head. “She _really_ hates you,” he said. “I don’t think she’d do it.”

“Look, it’s either help us, or have Lucifer somehow breaking free of the Cage and taking over here.” Dean held out his hands. “She’s not stupid.”

“How do you get a reaper to pop on over?” Tony asked. He’d made sure that F.R.I.D.A.Y. recorded everything that the Winchesters said. It could come in handy in the future.

“The ritual is pretty similar to summoning a demon,” Sam said, going back to crushing herbs with the pestle and mortar. “I assume that this is the route we’re going to go?” He looked around the room at them and at Steve’s nod, got busy.

Tony watched them, noting the silence as they worked. Bruce and Natasha talked quietly to each other. Steve went to get coffee for everyone, Coulson and Clint at his heels. Bucky sat beside Tony, eyes fixed on Sam and Dean.

“They’ve done this a lot,” he murmured to Tony.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. Sam didn’t say anything, but Dean handed him various items without Sam having to ask. It spoke of a familiarity that made Tony feel a little envious. He didn’t have anyone in his life that knew him that well.

Steve came back, carrying a tray with a carafe of coffee and several cups. Clint had a couple of bowls and some large packets of crisps. “This isn’t a picnic,” Bruce pointed out.

“Think of it as Purgatory fuel,” Clint shot back.

“We’re ready.” Sam’s words had them all swallowing hard. “Here goes nothing.”

“She’d better show up,” Dean grumbled.

Sam shook his head. “I hope she’s a lot less mad at you.” He started saying words that Tony didn’t recognize, although he figured the language was probably Latin. Dean held his arm over the bowl of herbs, cutting a deep slice across his forearm. The blood dripped steadily, hitting the herbs with a small hiss.

“Is that supposed to happen?” Steve asked.

Dean nodded. “Wait, there’s more.”

Sam tossed a lit match into the bowl and it sparked suddenly, flaming high and then gone. Tony stared at the bowl. There was nothing inside, no blood, no herbs, no match.

“What the fuck do you want, Winchester?” The snarl from behind him had Tony spinning. The woman glaring at Dean was gorgeous in a very Natasha way. She looked like she could eviscerate you with her mind.

“Hey Billie,” Dean waved. “Long time no see.”

“Not long enough,” she growled. “You about ready for your journey to the Empty?”

Sam stood. “Lucifer is about to break free. We need your help to stop him.”

She turned that vicious glare on Sam. “And why on earth would I do that, Sammy-boy?”

“Because if he gets out, the next step is world domination and making everyone into demons and then you’re shit out of a job,” Dean said, getting to his feet too. “Capisce?”

She frowned. “I haven’t heard anything about that.”

“Set.” It was only the one name, but Tony could see her react to Steve’s voice.

“Shit.” She closed her eyes briefly. “That’s not fucking good.”

“Which is where you come in,” Sam said. “We just need to get into Purgatory. Everything else is on us.”

Billie laughed. It wasn’t pretty. “Oh, is that _all_?” She rubbed a hand over her mouth. “You Winchesters think you’re so special.”

“We kinda are,” Dean said. 

Billie’s expression was poisonous. Sam nudged Dean, grimacing at him. “Not helping here, man.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for you,” Billie said, eyes flashing. “Lucifer can’t be allowed to get out again.”

Again? Tony wanted that story.

“Fine, you’re not granting me a favor,” Dean said. “You’re acting for the good of all humanity.”

“That smart-ass mouth is going to get you into _real_ trouble one day, Dean,” Billie warned. “When that happens, I promise that I will pull every favor that I have to get to be the one to reap you.”

Sam stepped closer to Dean, partly shielding him with his big body. “Don’t threaten us, Billie,” he cautioned. “You’ve seen what happens when you do.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Maybe we’ll all get lucky and you’ll die down there. Then nobody has to make an effort.”

Dean’s face was white. “Your boss got over his beef with me,” he spat. “I suggest you do too. I wouldn’t want to have to call in _my_ favor with him.”

She lifted her lip in a sneer. “You may have Death fooled, but you can’t fool me, honey.” She pointed at him. “I can see the fear in that pretty face of yours. You’re terrified of what’s going to happen to you when you die for the last time.”

“Can you please stop with the theatrics?” Tony was done. “We’d really like to go ahead with saving the world.”

Being the focus of those eyes was unnerving. “Tony Stark. Your father was one of the first I reaped.” She smiled a little. “He was feisty.”

Tony wanted to murder her with his bare hands. Only Bucky’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

“Ma’am, we’d really appreciate your help.” Steve wore his aw-shucks persona like a glove. “It’s sort of our job to be the guys on the front line.”

Billie looked at Steve. “You’ve cheated me as well,” she noted. “But I like you so I’m not mad.” Dean mumbled something under his breath that had Sam chuckle. “What?” she asked.

“It seems like no-one can resist Captain America,” Dean said. 

Billie made an annoyed sound. “The door is one-way,” she said. “Once you’re down there, you can only get back using the portal.”

Dean nodded. “I remember.”

“Don’t fuck up,” Billie ordered. 

“We won’t,” Steve assured her. “We can’t.”

Tony thought he was being _way_ too optimistic. “I’ll just be happy if we all get out alive,” he muttered.

Billie waved a hand and the space in front of her slid open, the scenery beyond looking like the wasteland after a nuclear disaster. “Good luck.” 

She disappeared a second later.

Steve squared his shoulders, snapping his shield across his back. “Right. Let’s get this done.”

He stepped through the hole in space, appearing a moment later on the other side. Bucky hastened after him with Clint and Natasha following. Sam was the next through, Dean behind him. 

Tony stopped at the opening. “Into the void,” he said, and stepped through into Purgatory.


	18. from the dead: a sense of scale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Purgatory isn't quite what they're expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apolgise for being late but I've had the dreaded lurgy & then got distracted by Civil War & now I want to write it!

It was grey. Tony turned in a circle, watched as the hole leading back home slid closed, Coulson and Bruce’s worried faces the last thing he saw.

“Nothing’s changed,” Dean grunted, hefting something that looked like a scimitar made of bone out of his duffel bag.

“What the hell is that?” Bucky asked, eyes avaricious. “And where can I get one?”

“I brought it back with me,” Dean said, wiping the blade on his denims. “This baby saved my life several times over.”

“The gateway to Hell,” Steve stood beside Sam, eyes constantly scanning the area.

“That way,” Sam pointed towards the deepest part of the dead trees. 

“Yeah, see, this isn’t quite what I was expecting,” Clint said, his back to Natasha’s. “It’s way creepier.”

“If you think this is bad, wait until we hit Hell,” Sam said. He led them towards the trees. They walked two-abreast. Sam and Steve, Clint and Natasha, Bucky and Tony, with Dean bringing up the rear.

“How come you get the ass-end of the adventure?” Bucky asked Dean, turning his neck a little to stare at Dean.

“I’m the lucky sonofabitch that has spent the most time here,” he said. “I know this place better than I’d like.”

“There are so many questions,” Tony murmured, sure that something had skittered behind the trees.

“Saw it,” Bucky nodded towards where Tony was looking.

“Less talking, more watching,” Steve ordered from up ahead.

Tony made a face at his back. Bucky nudged him with a smile.

“He’s right,” Dean said, suddenly more serious than Tony could remember seeing him. “Purgatory is a shithole.” 

A hiss to Tony’s left had them all spinning. All except for Sam and Dean who, almost in sync, turned the other way. Tony followed _their_ lead, his eyes almost falling out of his head at the sight of the thing heading towards them.

“What the fuck…?” he breathed.

“Don’t ask me what it is,” Dean growled. “Just suit up, Tin Man, and fire when ready.” He twirled his bone hatchet weapon and planted his feet, Sam at his shoulder.

Tony wasn’t used to blind obedience, but he was so far out of his own element right now that he obeyed Dean without question, the suit flowing over his skin in an instantly comforting shield from whatever the hell it was approaching.

Bucky stood at Tony’s back. “Whatever you’re freaking the fuck out about, I bet what I’m seeing tops it,” he yelled.

“Oh, I’ll take that bet and double it, Barnes,” Tony said as he blasted the nightmare. “Mine has ten legs.”

“Twelve!” Bucky shouted back, grunting as he took a hit from his opponent.

“This is not a fucking competition!” Clint sounded peeved and out of breath.

“Thirty, give or take a couple,” Natasha called, her usual calm an antidote to the frenzy around her. 

“No fucking way!” Tony wanted to eyeball what Natasha was facing, but just then Long-legged and Nasty knocked into him like a ton of proverbial bricks. Thank god for the suit.

“On your six, Sammy!” Dean was like a crazy person, his ax singing through the air. Tony had always thought that Steve was the finest fighter he’d ever seen. Until he’d seen Bucky. 

The way the Winchesters fought though was apparent that their battles were something else, something more than anything his team had faced.

He wanted to stop and watch them. It was a deadly ballet, Dean ducking as Sam swung his blade sharp and true into the belly of something that looked vaguely like a cave troll from the Lord of the Rings movies. Sam sliding to his knees, getting out of the way as Dean beheaded the troll look-alike with a cry.

“Tony!” Steve’s shout brought his attention back to the spider-monkey-monster thing that seemed determined to peel him out of the suit.

“I’m good!” he called back, adjusting the repulsors and sending his unwanted buddy a few steps back. “I don’t think they want us here.”

“Well, that’s just rude,” Natasha drawled. “I mean, I dressed up and everything.”

Tony’s grin was manic. “And you look lovely, m’dear,” he assured her as he sliced off one of his challenger’s legs.

“Thank you, kind sir,” she replied primly as she carved one half of the body of her many-legged foes from the other.

“Can you please focus?” Steve begged, using his shield to hack at the tentacle that had wrapped itself around his wrist.

“How long do you think we can keep this up?” Clint asked, notching and firing arrows faster than the eye could follow. “Because unlike you fellas, I’m going to run out of ammo _fast_.”

Sam started edged back towards the trees that he’d indicated earlier, still fighting alongside Dean. “I think we’ll be dead long before they stop,” he said. “We should keep moving.”

“No,” Tony said, kicking at the squat beast that was knocking at his knees with vicious teeth. “You don’t say?”

Sam’s bitchy expression showed how little he’d appreciated Tony’s sarcasm. Dean’s snorted laugh told Tony that this wasn’t a new thing. “Let’s go then,” Dean said, swinging at the tide of monsters, scattering them in a wild spray.

Steve followed Sam and Dean, holding the creatures at bay while still edging towards the thicket of trees. Bucky whooped like a lunatic beside him, punching and shooting at everything that moved. 

Clint rolled his eyes, but kept a steady stream of arrows guarding their backs. Natasha’s grin was wild and fierce as she fought around him. 

It made Tony’s throat close up, seeing them like this. Like a team. Once upon a time they’d been fighting each other, now they were a unit, fighting _for_ each other. Bucky and Steve moved like Sam and Dean, constantly aware of each other. It was beautiful and terrifying and they were his.

And he’d almost fucked it up by supporting Ross. 

The monsters kept coming, wave upon wave of them, some even calling the Winchesters by name. Which didn’t fill Tony with a whole lot of confidence. “You have some friends here?” he asked Dean as he took out a very hairy looking dude.

Dean shrugged. “What can I say, we’re popular guys.” 

Sam took a hooked talon in his shoulder, grunting in pain when Dean lopped off the claw and blew the bird-thing’s head off. “Don’t. Touch. Sammy.” He gritted the words like a warning. It seemed to be heard as the hoard backed off Sam a little, focusing on the rest of them.

Worryingly, the closer they got to the trees, the faster the monsters stopped attacking. “I’m guessing that if the ravening hoards are worried about what’s back there, then we should be too?” Tony raised an eyebrow as Tall, Hairy and Ugly took a step away from him. “Et tu, Butt-Ugly?” he asked.

The trees whispered wicked things, wanton things, evil things and Tony shuddered. “We’re not even _in_ Hell yet and I’m fucking terrified,” Clint muttered.

Sam ducked behind the tree line, Dean behind him. “This way,” Sam called.

Tony let the faceplate slide back and exchanged a glance with Steve. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” he said. The armor slipped back into place, locking into the bracelets with a quiet snick.

Bucky jostled Natasha to move. “Eh, we only have problems on days ending in –y,” he said. Clint yanked a couple of arrows out of a few of the bodies lying around and hurried to catch them.

Steve poked Tony. “I’m holding _you_ responsible for that,” he said, pointing to where Bucky had vanished.

Tony gave him the Bambi eyes. “Darling, he was an asshole long before I met him.” He flashed Steve a grin as he whirled to follow the others. “Now, onward into the breach!”

~o0o~

There was absolutely no sound once they were surrounded by the trees. 

“Okay, I take it back,” Clint said. “ _This_ is the creepiest.”

Tony had to agree with him.

The complete lack of noise, as though they were in a vacuum, was seriously eerie. Sam seemed to know where he was going though, heading resolutely further into the trees. They all followed in silence. 

Tony _hated_ silence. 

“So, how come you ended up here?” he asked Dean.

“The head of the Leviathans exploded and dragged me back into Purgatory with him,” Dean said.

“Sort of like unaccompanied luggage?” Tony raised his eyebrows.

Dean’s mouth curved. “You have a way with words, Stark.”

“I know,” Tony said with an answering smile. “I’m a genius.”

“You need to play Words with Friends with Sam, he needs real competition,” Dean said. 

“If we get out of here, it’s on,” Tony agreed. He kept his eyes peeled, but there was no movement in the trees, not a leaf or branch shifted. Not even the ground beneath them crackled under their feet. “I seriously don’t like this place,” he told Dean.

“I hear ya,” Dean agreed. “But it grows on you.”

“Like a fungus?” Tony asked with a shudder.

“Nah.” Dean shook his head. “I grew up as a hunter, was taught that the monsters were bad and the humans needed to be protected at all costs.” He looked around him. “I lost track of that for a while and this place reminded me of the purity of our mission.”

“Monsters bad, people good?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “Now that’s a bit too black and white for me.”

Dean sighed. “You and Sam should have a talk about that too,” he muttered. “He’s a fifty shades of grey kinda guy.”

Tony tripped over his feet he laughed so hard.

“Shut it, you two,” Steve dropped back to glare at them.

“Why?” Dean met his gaze without hesitation. “I’ve been here, nothing’s gonna get us here, trust me, the worst is still to come.”

“Well, that’s comforting,” Natasha drawled.

“Stop.” Sam held up a hand and Tony was far too amused to note that his two army boys halted to attention. So much teasing to come later, he thought.

Dean muscled his way past them to stand beside Sam. “This it?” he asked, looking up at the mountain of granite. The smell of sulphur hung in the air, a tangible thing that felt like a blanket dropping down over them.

“Yeah.” Sam didn’t sound enthusiastic. 

Dean dropped a hand on this shoulder. “We’ve got this, Sammy.”

Sam squared his shoulders, edging a little closer to Dean. “We’ve got this,” he said, taking another step forward and to the right. 

Tony moved up behind him and did the same. “It’s like Harry Potter!” he exclaimed, when the opening in the rock appeared. The blank expressions on Steve and Bucky’s faces made him want to roll his eyes. He didn’t. “Platform 9¾?” Still blank. Tony sighed. “Eagles and turkeys, people.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Eagles and turkeys?”

“How can I soar with eagles when I’m surrounded by turkeys?” Tony explained.

“Yeah, you’re not getting lucky again for a long time,” Bucky told him. 

Steve went a little red, but nodded his agreement. “That,” he said. 

Dean grunted a laugh as Tony flapped a hand. “Please, as if you’ll be able to resist all this.”

“Are you boys planning on jabbering all day or are we going to do this thing?” Natasha’s eyebrow had risen to murder proportions.

“We’re totally doing this thing,” Tony assured her, following Sam towards the fissure in the rock that billowed sulphurous smoke.

“What thing are we doing?” Clint asked, trailing Tony.

“You know, the thing,” Tony said, keeping his tone earnest.

Natasha was at Clint’s heels and she met Tony’s gaze for a terrifying moment. “You’re so very funny,” she said. She clearly wanted him to die in a fire.

“I feel like we need a speech,” Tony said. “I mean, we _are_ entering actual Hell.” He looked at Steve. “C’mon Cap, rally the troops.”

Steve’s mouth was flat. “Don’t die.”

Tony waggled his hand when it seemed as though that was it. “Eh, I give it two out of ten for actually motivating anyone.”

“How about my boot motivating you?” Bucky asked. “On your ass.”

Tony grinned. “I know something else I’d like on my ass…”

“Can we not?” Steve begged. “We actually have serious work to do.”

“Ah yeah, the thing.” Dean skipped behind Sam when Steve glared at him. “Hey! I’m just going with the flow here.”

“Okay everyone, we have to go in single file, but I’m not sure that we won’t get turned around.” Sam looked over at Dean. “Any ideas?”

“We could maybe tie ourselves together?” Dean suggested.

“This sounds like the start of a porno I once watched,” Tony said. “Anyone got rope?” He knew they didn’t.

“I’m going to drown you in your sleep one day,” Steve promised.

“Whatever.” Tony slid one of his ‘pockets’ open. “Guess it’s Iron Man to the rescue…again.” He pulled out the thin coil of rope.

“That looks like dental floss,” Dean observed.

“Same principle,” Tony said. “But there’s a metal element bound to the fiber that makes it stronger than any rope on the market today.” He handed one end to Sam. “You want to start the daisy chain, Sam? I’m guessing you’re taking point?”

Sam took the rope and tied it around his waist. “I’m the one who got in this way before.” He passed it over to Steve. “We should hurry.”

“What’s the rush?” Clint asked. “None of the monsters out there have tried to attack again.”

“I’m more worried about what’s going to be waiting for us on the other side,” Sam admitted. “I can’t believe that Crowley or Lucifer haven’t clued in yet with all the commotion out here.”

“Fuck.” Dean’s nostrils flared. “All I need is that slimy dickhead to make my day perfect.”

“Which dickhead are we talking about?” Natasha enquired. “I’m not sure I want to meet any more dickheads.”

“Oh, you’re gonna _love_ Crowley,” Dean told her.

“That sounds like Steve’s idea of a party,” Natasha replied, wrapping and tying the rope before passing it to Clint.

“Crowley’s the King of Hell and he’s a douchebag,” Dean said. “He’s not going to stop us from keeping Lucifer in the Cage.”

“Aren’t they buddies?” Bucky asked, knotting and tying and passing to Tony.

“Crowley got the promotion when Lucifer was locked up,” Sam said, watching closely as Dean tied the end of the rope around his own waist. “I don’t think he’ll be keen on giving it up.”

“And he’s the guy you got the original summoning spell for?” Tony asked. The Winchesters nodded. “So, on a scale of one to eternal torment, how pissed off is he going to be when you two turn up?”

Dean and Sam exchanged a look. “About that,” Sam said with an apologetic glance over at Steve. “We’re not his favorite people.”

“Hello boys.” The mellifluous voice had them all spinning back towards the gateway to Hell. The guy in the expensive suit and Burberry coat looked nothing like Tony’s expectation of a demon from Hell.

“Crowley.” Dean’s reply gave nothing away.

“ _That’s_ Crowley?” Clint asked. “He looks like a CEO.”

“Why aren’t you the perceptive boy,” Crowley crooned at Clint. Even the hairs in Tony’s nose stood up. “Now, what’s this about Lucifer and the Cage?”


	19. I am the thing that is hurtling towards you…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley isn't going to be a push-over. RockPaperScissors decides the crew. Hell is surprisingly....not hellish?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! The quest continues. I'm having way too much fun with this. I'm getting there....I swear!

“Um.” Dean’s hesitation was an inauspicious start.

“Thinking about what lies to feed me?” Crowley arched an eyebrow. “Don’t.” Tony saw the steel in his eyes. This wasn’t someone he wanted to cross.

“Set,” Sam said quickly. “The crown turned up, and we figured out that Set is Lucifer, and he’s been trying to take over people and rule the world.” He sounded out of breath at the end.

Dean’s glare should have set Sam’s pretty hair on fire. “Why don’t you just tell him _everything_ , Sam?”

“Because unlike you, my thick-headed friend; Moose over here understands that I have just as much invested in keeping that prick locked up as you do.” Crowley sneered with his entire body. Tony wanted to learn how to do that.

“Excuse me.” Steve’s polite voice broke into the charged atmosphere. “Mr. Crowley, is it?” Dean snickered and Sam dug a pointy elbow into his side.

“Just Crowley is fine, American Pie,” Crowley said. “Unless you’d like to call me, Your Majesty?” He quirked his mouth and Tony realized that the fucker was flirting with _his_ boyfriend!

“I’ll call you something alright,” he muttered.

Crowley’s sharp gaze turned to Tony. “I know who you are,” he said, tapping a well-manicured finger against his lips. “You’re Tony Stark.”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” Tony retorted. It was Steve’s turn to elbow Tony.

“I’m not in the habit of inviting hunters and heroes into my domain,” Crowley said. “What guarantee do I have that you lot don't fuck everything up?”

Steve and Sam met each other’s gaze and Tony felt his stomach swoop. This suddenly felt like a _very_ bad idea.

“We’re not going to mess with your place,” Dean replied, missing Steve and Sam’s interaction. “We just want to make sure the head dick can’t get out.”

“And you have no intention of trying to rescue your brother?” Crowley’s little lip-curl was nasty. “He won’t be able to function in the world again. He’s been Michael’s bitch for too long.”

“None.” Dean lied with a straight face. “Adam’s not really our brother anyway.” 

Sam flinched, but Crowley was too busy watching Dean. “Oh, Squirrel, would that I could believe you.” He turned to Steve. “I will allow three of you to get in there and get the job done. And none of them can be a Winchester.”

Dean opened his mouth to protest, but Sam put a hand on his arm. 

“I’ll be going in then,” Steve said. 

“Not without me, you’re not,” Tony said. Steve’s eyes narrowed and Tony narrowed his own back. “Don’t even fucking try it, Capuchin.”

“So that leaves one of the three of us,” Natasha said, looking at Bucky and Clint. “Should we settle this the old-fashioned way?”

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Clint asked. 

She nodded, “How else?” and Bucky nodded his agreement too.

“You’re…” Dean sputtered, staring at them. 

Tony grinned at him. “It’s the only way they know how to settle an argument.” He watched Bucky and Clint put their hands behind their backs. “It’s always easier than ending in blood. So hard to dry-clean out of a uniform.”

“Ha!” Bucky bounced on the balls of his feet, making a cutting motion with his fingers. “Scissors beats Paper!” 

Clint scowled. “Best of three.”

“No,” Steve said. “We don’t have the time.”

Natasha stood in front of Bucky with her hand behind her back. Their eyes locked. “One, two, three.” She held out her hand, two fingers extended. Bucky held out a fist.

“Rock beats scissors.” Natasha’s glare was poisonous as she looked at Bucky. “Lucky guess,” she snarled.

“The Three Musketeers ride again!” Tony declared.

“More like the Three Stooges,” Clint murmured.

“What was that?” Bucky rumbled. 

“Nothing.” Clint wasn’t too proud to hide behind Natasha.

Crowley clasped his hands together. “Well, then. Are we ready?”

Dean stepped up to Tony. “Don’t trust a single thing he says,” he warned.

“Now, Not Moose, is that any way to talk about your former boss?” Crowley purred.

“Boss?” Steve frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Later,” Dean assured him. “Seriously, he’s a pathological liar and a demon, not the best combination.”

“You’ll need this,” Sam told Steve, passing him a slip of paper.

“What is it?” Tony hated not knowing things.

“It’s a spell,” Sam said. “It will strengthen the Cage so that nothing can get or out for at least the next thousand years.”

“After that, Lucifer’s someone else’s problem,” Dean said.

Steve pocketed the paper. “I can’t speak Latin,” he said.

“I can,” Tony smacked his ass. “Good thing I’m coming with then, isn’t it, Capsicle?”

“Does he just go around calling you names all day?” Crowley asked; genuine curiosity in his voice.

“Oh, you mean like calling me Moose, or Gigantor or,” Sam paused, “my personal favorite, Jolly Green Giant? Like that?”

Crowley’s grin was positively diabolical. “I’m slipping,” he said. “I’ll have to think up some new ones for you two.” He turned to walk towards the fissure in the stone. “Follow me, gentlemen.”

~o0o~

Tony decided to keep the suit hidden for now. He had no idea what was coming, but perhaps having a surprise advantage in hand wasn’t a bad thing. He thought maybe Hell wasn’t too au fait with Iron Man and Tony Stark. He had a feeling Crowley knew but he hadn’t asked, so Tony wasn’t telling.

He followed Steve, with Bucky at his back. Curiously, every couple of minutes, Crowley reached out to thin air and made a patting motion. He wondered if the King of Hell had Tourette’s.

“What are you doing?” Ever the tactful one, Bucky was the first one to ask the question.

“Oh, this?” Crowley stopped, waving at the air beside him. “That’s just Growley, my Hellhound.” 

Steve stopped so suddenly that Tony stumbled into him. “Your what?” He sounded more freaked out about an invisible dog than he had at entering Hell.

“He’s harmless,” Crowley assured them with another little pat. “He only bites if you try to hurt me.” The low growl that echoed through the passage gave Tony the heebie-jeebies.

“We’ll try not to do that,” Tony said, peering around Steve’s shoulder. “How big is he?” He could feel the stink-eye Steve was giving him.

“His shoulders stand just about here,” Crowley said, indicating his chest. “He’s the Big Kahuna down here.” 

“Huh.” Bucky sounded intrigued. “Cool.”

“We are _not_ getting a Hellhound as a pet!” Tony poked his chest. “Get that thought out of your head right now!”

Bucky grinned at him. “Might be nice to have a puppy around the place,” he said.

Tony pointed a finger at him silently. 

“Time’s a-wasting, boys.” Crowley started down the passage again. “The Cage is right in the center of Hell, and to be frank, it might be a bit of a tough road.”

“Tough?” Steve asked, hurrying to catch up to him, keeping one wary eye out for the invisible monster dog at Crowley’s side.

“Well, I _am_ the King, but not everyone is happy about it.” Crowley gave a dramatic sigh.

“You mean we’re going to have to fight our way there.” Bucky, as ever the blunt instrument, stated it succinctly.

“Not so much fight,” Crowley hedged. “Take a few detours, is perhaps a better expression.”

Tony didn’t like the sound of that. “Detours?” He frowned. “Like through the Bog of Eternal Stench?” Three pairs of eyes stared at him, judging. “I don’t know! I’ve never been to Hell!” He flung his arms out to wave at the surroundings.

Crowley indicated his immaculate suit. “Does this look like an outfit to wear in the Bog of Eternal Stench?” He clearly expected an answer.

“Uh…no?” Tony wasn’t entirely sure.

“When I took over, I started doing things a little differently,” Crowley said as he continued walking. “I cleaned up the riff-raff and made eternal torment less blood, and more deadly boredom.” He sounded extremely proud of himself.

“What? So terminal boredom is worse than being tortured on a rack?” Tony asked.

“What would you prefer?” Crowley shot back.

“The rack,” Tony admitted.

“No.” Bucky’s single word had Tony turning to look at him. 

“Buck…” Tony felt helpless in the face of making such a fuck-up. “It was a joke.”

“Never funny,” Bucky said, mouth tight. “The rack is fucked up.”

“Well, I have kept it around for special circumstances,” Crowley admitted, ignoring the tense undercurrents. “I use it only when I want to reward someone.”

They stared at him. “What?” Bucky sounded like he was choking.

“Honestly, relieving the tedium with a little torture works for me too,” Crowley declared with an airy wave. He met Bucky’s furious gaze. “But you know all about torture, don’t you, James?”

Tony watched Bucky flinch and then his jaw tightened. “Nobody is ever going to get the chance again,” he warned. “I’ll kill everything and everyone before that happens.”

Tony put a hand on his arm. “I’d _never_ let that happen to you,” he promised.

“I’d burn the world down,” Steve assured him, mouth tight and angry. Tony believed him.

“Well, I’m not saying I’d try to torture any of _you_ ,” Crowley said, stepping out into an open area. “I’m a civilized person. I prefer to only take out my frustrations on demons and angels. It’s not fun when they die too quickly.”

Tony had to remind himself that this urbane looking man was actually a demon, _the_ demon. He looked around. The roof of the cavern seemed miles away as he stared up. There were about ten tunnels leading off from the space. “What’s this?” he asked.

“This is where the inmates get to choose their future,” Crowley said. “Each route leads to a different level of Hell.” He pointed at the middle one, directly opposite from where they were standing. “That’s the direct route to the Cage, but we’re not going to take that one.”

“Why not?” Steve asked. Bucky and Tony moved to either side of him. “Surely that’s the easiest way to do this?”

“As I said, some of the older demons aren’t too happy with my method of rule,” Crowley explained. “The road to the Cage is monitored by several of them. And because it’s a path not often chosen, they’ll be very aware of my bringing three humans into Hell.”

“That won’t go down well?” Tony asked.

“To put it mildly, they’ll rip you limb from limb,” Crowley replied.

“Well, that sounds lovely,” Tony muttered.

Bucky dropped an arm across his shoulders. “Don’t worry baby, I’ll save you.” His little grin made Tony’s heart skip. Bucky was getting better at letting things go, not obsessing over everything. 

“Thanks asshole,” he grinned back. “Good to know you’ve got my back.”

“That’s not all I’ve got,” Bucky said with a wicked eyebrow waggle. Tony just wanted to kiss him.

“Oh, so that’s how it is,” Crowley mused, staring between them. “Interesting.”

“Tony’s not an enhanced human like we are,” Steve said. “It’s our duty to protect him.” Tony was pleased that Steve seemed to have picked up on his idea of hiding the Iron Man suit until it was really needed.

“We?” Crowley asked. “Our?”

“Ours.” Steve moved a little closer, wrapping his hand around Tony’s.

“Well, this is so much more entertaining than I thought,” Crowley beamed.

“Can we please get this show on the road?” Tony asked. “I’d like to be home in time to catch the latest episode of Masterchef Australia.”

Crowley’s gaze was narrowed on him. “You’re not the billionaire playboy you pretend to be.”

“Don’t forget genius, philanthropist,” Tony reminded him.

“Hmm.” Crowley tapped a finger on his chin. Then he seemed to decide to let it go. “Choose,” he said, sweeping a hand out to the tunnels.

“Why can’t you just take us there?” Bucky asked.

“It’s not the way Hell works,” Crowley said. “You have to choose. It can’t be me.”

“But you’re the King,” Steve pointed out.

“Yes,” Crowley agreed, “However, some things still have to be part of the soul’s free will. The choice cannot be mine.” He looked frustrated and a little peeved. Tony thought that Crowley _hated_ not being in complete control.

“That one.” Bucky pointed at the tunnel directly to the left of the one leading to the Cage. “We’ll go that way.”

Tony looked over at Steve who shrugged. “Not as if any of us have any idea which is the easiest option,” he said.

“Gentlemen, let me remind you that this is _Hell_.” Crowley headed towards the tunnel Bucky had chosen. “There are _no_ easy options.”

“That’s comforting,” Bucky muttered, taking point this time with Steve bringing up the rear.

“Again. **HELL**.” Crowley nearly yelled at them.

He vanished into the tunnel, muttering something under his breath about imbecilic humans.

Bucky sighed. “Dean said he was a dick. Didn’t warn us enough.”

“I can **_hear_** you!” Crowley shouted back.

“Wasn’t whispering!” Bucky bellowed, starting after him.

“Buck. Shut it.” Steve had apparently had enough. “We’re in Hell and you’re picking a fight with the Devil.” He pushed Tony forward, into the dark.

“No, that’s still coming,” Tony reminded him. “He’s picking a fight with Lucifer-Light.”

“I can still hear you!” Crowley sounded as though he was about to have a heart attack.

“I wonder, can demons get heart attacks?” Tony mused.

“Eagles and turkeys,” Steve muttered. “Eagles and fucking turkeys.”

“Gobble, gobble,” Bucky obliged and Tony cackled like a crazy person.

“I am going to feed you _all_ to Growley!” Crowley announced as they caught up to him. “I thought that the Winchesters were the most aggravating humans I’d ever met.”

“I’m an over-achiever,” Tony told him. “Always gotta be the best.” 

There was a brief silence, then…. “So which circle of Hell did I choose?” Bucky asked.

A brief chuckle and then, “Oh, dear boy, you’re going to _love_ this.”

Tony just knew that Crowley being happy was a very, **very** bad thing indeed.


	20. oh we're a mess, poor humans, poor flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell is just....Hell. Dante had it right and it scares the crap out of Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously, this is possibly some of the darkest stuff I've written. I'm all about the fluffy happiness. Don't read if images of torture or rape or bondage trigger you. Please. This is **HELL** people. It's not a nice place

“Yeah, that doesn’t seem like _anyone’s_ idea of Hell,” Tony said, staring at the sight in front of him. It looked like a giant stripper joint, full of gorgeous women giving men lap dances and swinging on poles in varying degrees of nakedness.

“It is if you’re a gay man or a transgender person who isn’t interested in women,” Crowley said with a nasty little smile.

Tony winced. Oh.

“That’s fucked up,” Bucky said. 

“I repeat, _Hell_ ,” Crowley said, making his way past several tables. Now that Tony knew what he was looking for, he could see the expressions of misery on the faces of the men being fondled by the women. 

“It’s almost like rape,” he said, feeling his stomach twist. 

“It’s exactly like rape,” Crowley corrected. “Interesting that this is the route you chose, James.” He lifted an eyebrow at Bucky who was looking around in disgust. “Was it very difficult hiding the fact that you were homosexual from your friends?”

Bucky’s face turned murderous. “You don’t get to ask me crap like that,” he snarled. 

“He had me.” Steve’s simple answer had Crowley turning his attention to him. 

“Really? You and James way back then?” Crowley sounded disbelieving.

“Can I kill him?” Bucky asked Steve.

“Later,” Steve promised. 

Tony saw the flash of crimson that coated Crowley’s eyes. He had a bad feeling that getting out of Hell was going to be a fuckton harder than getting in had been.

“Fellas,” he cautioned. “Let’s not poke at the scary demon king, okay?” He patted Steve’s rather impressive bicep.

“At least someone recognizes my power,” Crowley muttered, swerving to avoid the pleading hands of the tormented. “Stop that,” he said, smacking grasping fingers. “I’ve just had this coat dry-cleaned.”

Tony watched Steve’s face. He was completely gutted at what he was seeing; every emotion he was feeling telegraphed on his face. “Babe, keep it together,” he said, keeping his voice low. “It’s Hell, not a holiday camp. They’re not nice people.”

“Oh that’s a myth,” Crowley declared as he pushed a set of doors open. Bucky’s jaw was set like steel and Tony wanted to put his arms around him and hold him tight. “Not everyone who gets sent down here is a wicked person. Many of them have made deals with crossroad demons and are paying the price.”

Tony didn’t even want to know. The room they walked into was as large as the last one, but in this one, women and men were fucking on every surface. He couldn’t look away.

“I….” Steve’s face went crimson and then white. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

Tony put his hand in the small of Steve’s back. “Deep breaths, babe,” he urged. “Think of it like it’s a movie. Not real.” He found it hard to watch, the desperate desolation in all of the faces.

Steve wiped a hand across his mouth. “This is disgusting,” he said. 

“How many times must I remind you boys that we are, in fact, in Hell?” Crowley asked, gaze dispassionately going around the room. “This isn’t Happy Hippo’s Holiday Camp.” 

Tony felt as sick as Steve looked. Bucky’s face was expressionless. “This where I’ll end up eventually?” Bucky asked.

Crowley tipped his head. “Interesting question, James.” He seemed to think about it seriously. “I’m never sure, you know.” He ran a hand across the naked back of a beautiful woman who was crying as a huge man thrust into her over and over again.

“You don’t know who gets the ticket for a trip down here?” Tony asked, desperate to get out of this room of rape and suffering.

Crowley shrugged. “Unless they’ve signed their contract, then I only know when the soul arrives.” He met Bucky’s gaze. “It matters what you do right up until the moment you breathe your last.”

Tony knew that was important. “So you can be an evil fucker all your life and then one act of redemption cancels it all out?” Bucky sounded furious. And so very, very damaged.

“I don’t read the hearts of men, James.” It was surprising how kindly Crowley spoke to Bucky. “I only process the souls that belong to me or those who are sent.”

“Who decides that?” Steve asked, eyes flicking towards Bucky, concern in every line of his body. “Is it God?”

Crowley’s snort was derisive. “Why don’t you ask the Winchesters what they think about God?” he replied instead, sauntering through the mass of bodies with little care. 

Tony wanted to ask. He really did. But he wanted to get out of this place even more. “Where’s the door?” he demanded, keeping his eyes lowered, just watching Steve’s feet in front of him.

He walked into Steve’s broad back a few minutes later. “Sorry,” Steve murmured.

Tony rubbed at his nose. “Eh, it’s my own fault for not watching where I was going.”

“Don’t blame you,” Steve told him, still keeping his voice low.

“As it appears that you three are a little squeamish, I believe that I should warn you about the next circle.” Crowley turned to face them, standing in the doorway. “I’m sure you’re realizing that the closer we get to the center of Hell, to the Cage, the worse the punishment is?” 

Tony gave a short nod. “I assume, like Dante’s Inferno, it’s levels of evil being punished?” he asked.

Crowley gave a little smile, a proud father to Tony’s perfect pupil. “Indeed.” He waved a hand at the door behind him. “This is the last circle. The one before the entrance to the heart of my humble kingdom. It is the worst. I want you to be prepared because you already seem so uncomfortable with my methods of dealing with the souls of the damned.”

“Prepared how?” Steve asked.

“They will beg you; plead with you to release them in any way. They will ask you to kill them, kill me even,” Crowley said. “There is nothing you can do. You’re mortal, for one, and incapable for another.” His sharp eyes met Steve’s. “That little piece of paper that Sam Winchester slipped you can do nothing for them or to me.”

Steve flinched. “It’s for Lucifer, for Set, the Cage.” His voice shook.

Crowley’s smile was vicious. “If I know the Winchesters, and I _know_ the Winchesters, they’ll have passed a few options on to you on that page.” He tapped Steve’s chest. “Don’t. Try. Any. Of. Them.”

Tony watched Steve’s jaw set. He groaned. Steve was in his ‘I’m not backing down’ mode. It never ended well. “We’re here to stop Set from escaping the Cage. That’s all.” He sent a warning glance to Steve.

“While I’d love to believe you, my experiences with Moose and Squirrel have taught me to trust no-one.” There was a note in Crowley’s voice that had Tony curious.

“Your relationship with the Winchesters seems a little….fraught,” Tony said, stalling because he _really_ didn’t want to step through that door.

“They’re hunters.” Crowley stared at him like he was a moron. “They kill demons for a living. What do you think?”

Tony thought better of poking the bear. He squared his shoulders. “Let’s get this over with.”

Bucky and Steve looked as though they’d rather be anywhere else, boiled in oil even. “I don’t like this,” Steve said.

“So noted,” Crowley said. “But this is the way to get to the Cage.”

“Give them a break,” Tony said. “They’re from the forties.”

Crowley rubbed at his eyes. “Well, I would suggest they close their eyes then,” he said. “Perhaps you can take the lead in this one and have them hold on to you?”

“Why, your Majesty, that was almost kind.” Tony’s reply was met with a flat look.

“We’ll cope,” Bucky said. “Not much I haven’t seen since they brought me back.”

“It’s torture, Buck.” Steve put his hands on Bucky’s shoulders. “I don’t want you to see shit like that again.”

“It’s a job, Stevie.” Bucky patted Steve’s cheek. “I’m a big boy.”

When it looked like Crowley was about to say something inappropriate, Steve glared at him. “Very well,” Crowley sighed. “All for one and one for all?”

“Let’s get this over with,” Steve said. “I’ll take point.”

“No.” Tony stepped in front of him. “I’ll be taking point on this one.” He met Steve’s mutinous gaze. “I’m not negotiating on this one, Cap.” It was a small thing, but it was something he could do. Maybe he was thinking of this as his own atonement for the utter betrayal of his friendship of Steve. The memories were getting dimmer, but they still hurt.

“Tony.” It was only his name, but it carried a wealth of meaning.

“Don’t care,” Tony said, giving Bucky just the slightest of head-tilts. “Hook your fingers onto my belt, close those pretty blue eyes, and let’s get through this as fast as we can.” He met Steve’s gaze. “This _isn’t_ a negotiation, Caponata.”

Steve’s nostrils flared. “You’re a very stubborn man,” he said eventually. But he reached around and tucked his fingers into Tony’s waist-band. 

Tony watched Bucky do the same with Steve. “Maybe I have enough nightmares in my head,” Bucky said, simple and devastatingly honest. “Don’t need any more of ‘em.”

It wasn’t the right time, but Tony just wanted to hug Bucky and then raze Hydra to the ground all over again. 

Crowley shoved the door open. “Entrez,” he said, waving a hand for Tony to precede him. 

Tony didn’t want to take the next step, but they had a job to do, and one thing Captain Steven Grant Rogers had taught him over the past few years was that the job came first. He braced himself for what was to come. “Whatever you hear, _don’t_ open your eyes,” he murmured to Steve and Bucky.

~o0o~

The only word Tony could think of was evil. Then the rest of the thesaurus flew into his head. Repulsive. Depraved. Despicable. Abhorrent. Revolting. Awful.

And above all… _ **Wrong**_.

He swallowed the bile that threatened to flood his mouth. “Don’t look.” The words were gritted out between his teeth as he fought to take another step.

Crowley came up beside him. “I don’t like to brag, but…” His smug little smirk made Tony want to rip him apart at atomic level.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he blurted.

Crowley tucked his hands into his coat’s deep pockets. “I feel like a broken record.” He jutted his chin out. “This is Hell, Mr. Stark, not the Hilton Hotel. We don’t place nice here.”

Tony swallowed hard. Every type of sexual sadism was on display, from whips and chains, to ropes and hooks. And not one single soul cried out in anything but agony.

He turned his head from the sight of a dark-haired woman wrapping the head of a man in plastic, holding him until his chest bellowed with the desperation to breathe. 

That only brought the vision of a huge man in a leather mask and nothing else; ramming his cock into a sobbing man’s anus over and over again, blood pooling beneath their thighs.

“Don’t look,” he whispered.

Steve’s fingers tightened on Tony’s belt, rucking his shirt up a little so that he could touch skin. That tiny contact grounded Tony, preventing him from rupturing.

“Please,” a girl begged. She looked about fifteen, being fucked by a man with obsidian skin and a woman with a monstrous strap-on. “Help me.”

Tony wanted to help her. He really did. But he heard Steve behind him, “Don’t look,” and he blinked. And she was gone.

“I see you’ve become used to denying yourself the pleasures of the flesh,” Crowley said, picking his careful way through the carnal carnage. “Perhaps your ledger is no longer as red.” 

The arch glance beneath almost-flirty eyelashes had Tony stopping. “None of them are yours,” he rasped. “I don’t care what you think is going to happen, but _none_ of them are yours.”

Crowley held up his hands as he skirted a particularly vicious gang rape. “I’m not the one who decides.”

Tony wanted to shake answers out of him. To demand honesty. But he remembered Dean’s whispered caution that demons lie. “I will obliterate your world if you try to take them,” he promised.

Crowley looked at him then. _Really_ looked at him. “I rather think you would,” he mused. “Well, you’d _try_ at the very least.” 

Tony reached behind him to touch Steve’s hand. “I’m not the one you should worry about.”

Steve’s eyes were still squeezed shut, he and Bucky following Tony like trusting sheep. “Mr. Crowley, your Majesty,” Steve’s polite voice was incongruous as they walked through the valley of devastation and rape and unutterable violence. “Please stop. Just stop.”

Crowley’s gaze was a crimson consideration as he stared at Steve. “I would offer you half of my kingdom if you just promised to love me,” he said.

“Sorry,” and he sounded almost sincere, eyes tightly closed, “Tony and Bucky are about all this Brooklyn boy can handle.”

Tony felt a hot pride swell through him and suddenly this cesspool of viciousness and sadness felt like a memory even as he strode past brutal sex and cruelty, Steve’s fingers warm against the small of his back. He forced his eyes straight ahead, even as he heard screams of desperation. 

This wasn’t a battle they could win. He’d learned from a very young age to pick the ones to win and then annihilate the opposition. He wanted to destroy Crowley and Hell and everything it stood for, but the Universe needed balance and this place of persecution and torment was clearly a part of a Plan that he wasn’t privy to.

“How much further?” Bucky’s question was barely an exhalation, but Tony heard it like a shout. His boys were taking strain and it was his job to get them out of here.

He looked across the room, saw a door. Meeting Crowley’s gaze he motioned towards it. “Almost there.”

And Crowley nodded back, leading them through the minefield of shredded lives toward the Father of Lies.

“Piece of cake,” Tony muttered as he followed Crowley through the final doorway. “Like taking candy from a baby.”

They were completely fucked.


	21. hold me tight, it’s getting cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell and the Cage...Tony isn't quite ready. Lucifer makes his case. There's a double-cross in the wind

The first impression Tony got as he stepped through was the cold. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but the glacial wind that blew right through his bones wasn’t it.

They were standing on the edge of a slab of stone with an extremely narrow bridge spanning the gorge below. Tony looked down. “That’s more like it,” he muttered when he saw the bubbling lava.

“Okay boys, you can open your eyes,” he told Steve and Bucky, keeping his voice low for some as yet unnamed reason. It seemed like the thing to do in a place like this.

“Welcome to Hell, the Abyss,” Crowley said. There was something hesitant in the way he said it.

“ _You’re_ afraid of this place?” Tony was incredulous.

The expression on Crowley’s face told Tony that he’d scored a hit. “I try not to spend too much time here,” Crowley said. He clearly hated admitting any weakness.

“That’s not exactly comforting,” Bucky muttered, looking around and then down. He swallowed hard. “A drop into fire,” he mused. “Almost as bad as a fall into ice.” 

Tony reached out to him, grabbing his hand. “Just remember, no matter what happens, this time, there are two of us to hold on to you. And we won’t ever let go.”

Tony stepped back against Steve when he felt a big hand drop on his shoulder. The heat of Steve’s body behind him had Tony relaxing minutely. 

“The Cage.” Steve’s voice was strained, almost hoarse. Tony imagined that perhaps Steve hadn’t been completely obedient in keeping his eyes closed. “Let’s get this done.”

Crowley took a deep breath. “Lucifer is a master manipulator,” he reminded them as he stepped out onto thin air. Tony bit back a yell. “Don’t trust anything he says.”

Crowley turned in the air, standing on nothing. “You’ll have to use the bridge,” he told them. “We didn’t cater much for actual humans visiting us.” He spun around once more, striding across the tear in the earth, heading for the other side of the gorge.

“Not creepy at all,” Tony said. Steve squeezed his shoulder.

Bucky was the first to move. His courage sometimes took Tony’s breath away. He took one step onto the bridge, and then another, and froze. “I don’t think I can do this,” he whispered.

“You can do _anything_ , Buck.” Steve sounded so certain, so sure that Bucky’s shoulders firmed. 

Steve followed Bucky, his hands at Bucky’s hips. “Don’t look down,” he told him. “I’ll guide you.”

Tony frowned. “Why don’t we just do this the easy way?” he grumbled, tapping at the bracelets at his wrists. The armor slipped over his body like a well-worn skin. He pushed off the stone, flying over Bucky and Steve and hovered in front of them. “Wanna take a ride?” he asked Bucky with a hand held out and a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Fuck yeah,” Bucky breathed, grabbing onto Tony’s gauntlet like a lifeline.

“You just wait there, Cappucino,” Tony ordered Steve. “Be right back.” He lifted Bucky easily, flying over the chasm, over Crowley and landing on the other side.

“Now that was unexpected.” Crowley stopped halfway across the gorge. “And very impressive.”

Tony gave him a jaunty wave as he crossed back towards Steve. “Always keep them on their toes, I say,” he quipped, grabbing Steve’s outstretched hand.

“You’re refreshingly different,” Crowley said, moving faster now. He stepped onto the platform just as Tony landed with Steve. “I’ve clearly missed several news items from up there.” He stared at them, one finger tapping against his mouth. “I think perhaps you might just be able to do this.”

“Of course we will,” Tony said, tapping the bracelets once more to get the armor to retract. “We’re the Avengers.”

“I don’t know what that means.” Crowley dismissed it with a wave. “I can’t go further than this.” He pointed at a narrow tunnel. “Stick to the path and you will come out by the Cage.” 

“Why can’t you go further?” Steve asked. “I thought you were the king of this place?”

Crowley’s mouth twisted. “In a remarkable bit of mismanagement, our Father decided that there should be a place for his errant son to reside.” 

“The Cage,” Steve clarified. 

“Indeed,” Crowley said. “It’s the one part of Hell that I cannot enter.”

“Because you’d kill Lucifer to gain his powers.” Tony had a lifetime of messed-up family dysfunction behind him.

“A small matter of protection from our absent daddy dearest,” Crowley snarled.

“Satan needs protection from _you_?” Bucky sounded as skeptical as Tony felt.

“There’s always a dog with bigger teeth out there, James.” 

“And your teeth are the biggest?” Steve shook his head. “But you can’t get into the Cage.”

“What can I say?” Crowley held out his hands, shrugging. “Father doesn’t like me much.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “What aren’t you telling us?” he asked. He could spot a bullshitter a mile away.

“Father of Lies,” Crowley murmured, almost to himself. 

“Huh?” Bucky looked over at Tony. “What’s he on about?”

“I’ll be leaving you here then,” Crowley said. “Once you’ve managed to chain Lucifer once more, Growley will guide you out of Hell and back to your friends in Purgatory.”

“Just like that?” Steve exchanged a look with Tony too. 

“Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy,” Crowley said. “I’d say that it’s been nice knowing you, gentlemen, but that wouldn’t be true.”

Then he snapped his fingers, and vanished.

~o0o~

“Well crap,” Tony said, spinning around. “I hated that when Loki did it, I hate it even more now.”

Steve ignored Tony’s grumble. “We need to get in and out as fast as we can,” he said, pulling the piece of paper that Sam Winchester had given him out of his pocket. “Tony, you’re up.” 

Tony stared down at the ancient text. “Where did they come up with this shit?” He scowled. “I doubt it could be any more pompous if it had been written by the Pope.”

“Just read it when we get to the Cage,” Steve told him, stepping into the ink-dark tunnel. “I’m sick of this place.”

Tony stumbled forward when Bucky nudged him. “Hey!” he protested.

“Don’t be a chicken-shit, Stark.” Bucky’s teeth gleamed white in the fading light. “Put on your big-girl pants.”

“We are _so_ going to be discussing appropriate banter when we get out of here,” Tony threatened.

“Promises, promises,” Bucky grinned. “You talk a good game.”

“Guys.” Steve sounded exhausted. 

Tony lifted his hand and put his palm between Steve’s shoulder-blades. He forgot that Steve hadn’t seen the worst that the world had to offer. He was, after all, an anachronism, a man out of time. “Sorry, babe,” he said. “Just trying to lift the mood.”

He couldn’t see Steve’s response, but felt him take a deep breath. “I can’t….”

“This isn’t anything we signed up for,” Tony agreed. “But neither were the Chithauri or Loki or Ultron.” He swallowed hard. “Although, actually, Ultron was one hundred percent my fuck-up.”

They were making slow progress, cautiously feeling their way in the dark. 

“We’re the Avengers.” It was as simple as that to Steve. And it was one of the myriad reasons that Tony adored him. “If we don’t do it, then who will?”

“The X-Men?” Bucky suggested.

“The Fantastic Four?” Tony added.

Steve gave a choked laugh. “Fine, we’re not all that special. But still…”

“Babe, we’re the most fucking special of them all,” Tony assured him. “That’s why we’re handling this. Why we’re the only ones who _can_.”

“What I saw back there,” Steve began. “It could be us when we die.”

Ah, Tony thought. So Steve _had_ looked.

“Me, maybe.” Bucky didn’t sound too worried. “Tony, definitely.” Tony could practically hear the smile in his voice.

“Asshole,” he muttered with no heat at all.

“If that happened, I’d murder someone just so that I could be with you.” Steve’s fierce tone took Tony by surprise. And to think he’d almost missed out on this. 

He blinked. 

Why would he have missed out on this? He….there was something there, tickling the back of his mind. Something about Steve. Something important.

And, like a sigh, it was gone.

~o0o~

The Cage was poised on the top of a butte. There was no access. They stood there for a moment, just looking.

“I think this might be a solo mission after all, Capsicum,” Tony murmured.

“No.” Steve shook his head. “Nobody does anything on their own here.”

Tony pointed out the gaping slash in the ground dropping down into the fire and brimstone below. “Can you fly?” He didn’t wait for Steve to reply. “Nope, you can’t.”

“You can take one of us over with you.’ Steve’s jaw was set in that delightfully mulish way that made Tony want to kick his ass.

“And then the other one gets left behind,” Tony said. “Alone. On their own.” He loved being right. Poking holes in things was his favorite thing to do.

Heh.

Poking.

“Tony.” Steve made his name sound like a remonstration. Tony needed to learn how to do that.

“He’s right.” Bucky’s words had them turning to him. “Tony’s the one who can read the spell, remember?”

“As if I could.” Steve sighed. “You do this quickly, okay?” He tapped Tony’s cheek. “And wear the faceplace.”

Tony scowled. “I’m not a _complete_ idiot,” he mumbled, letting the armor slide over him once more.

“Yes, you are,” Steve told him with a tiny smile. “But I love you anyway.”

It gave Tony a thrill, hearing Steve say that so openly. So clearly, with no possibility of misunderstanding. “I’m a loveable guy,” Tony agreed, trying for casual and failing.

“You really aren’t,” Bucky said. “We must be nuts.” He smiled too. “Now, get your ass over there and do your thing so that we can leave this shithole.”

“Aye-aye, sir!” Tony saluted him, launching up at the same time. “Time to dance with the Devil.” He wasn’t nervous _at all_.

~o0o~

The flight across the pit took longer than expected. Apparently time and distance moved a little differently here. Tony wondered how long they had actually been down here.

The Cage was huge. Bars of something that looked like bone towered above him. “At least you’ve got some room to move,” he said.

“Tony Stark.” The voice that emerged from the blackness was less satanic than what he’d been thinking.

“Yeah,” Tony said, landing on the narrow ledge that went around the Cage. “Who’s asking?”

“That wasn’t a question.” The thing behind the voice stepped forward, lit up from the blood-dark fires of Hell. He, and it was unquestionably a ‘he’, smiled. “Welcome to my humble abode.” 

Satan didn’t look so scary there in his light blue shirt and grey pants. He was about Tony’s height with dirty blond hair, a strong jaw and bright, laughing eyes. “How do you know my name?” Tony asked.

“I’ve spent some time with some folks you may know,” Lucifer said. “Perhaps if you opened the door, I could take you to them.” The tiny smirk on his face made Tony shudder.

“No can do, pal.” Tony held up the paper Steve had given him. “I’m here to read you a bedtime story.”

“Wait.” Lucifer held up a hand. “Are you sure I cannot persuade you to release me?” He reached behind him and tugged someone forward. “Release us?” The other occupant was a young man, about mid-twenties, with haunted eyes and a gaunt face. 

“Adam?” Tony asked, remembering Sam and Dean’s mention of their brother.

“Don’t listen to him,” Adam said, pulling away from Lucifer. “He’s a liar.”

“Now, Michael, no need to be nasty,” Lucifer crooned. It was exceptionally creepy.

“Michael, not Adam then,” Tony noted.

“Adam hasn’t been here for a very long time,” Michael replied, sounding unutterably weary. “Our Father took his soul eons ago.”

Tony didn’t know what he was going to tell the Winchesters. Or _how_ he was going to tell them.

“You do realize that I’m not going to let you bind me for another thousand years without a fight, don’t you?” Lucifer’s eyes blazed. “My time of retribution is too near to allow you to jeopardize it.”

“How are you planning on stopping me?” Tony asked. “I’m out here and you’re in there.” He waved a gauntleted hand at the Cage.

“I’m not alone,” Lucifer hissed. “My children are everywhere, waiting for my release.” 

Tony didn’t look at his eyes. They’d turned into pitiless flames. “Right now, I’m the only one here,” Tony pointed out. “And you can’t get out.”

He heard a shout and spun around, almost wobbling off the narrow stone. Steve and Bucky were fighting with what looked like creatures made of fire.

“But you’re not alone,” Lucifer purred. “Open the Cage and I will set you and your friends free.”

Tony wanted to reach inside the Cage and destroy the smug bastard. He didn’t.

Instead he shot across the gulf again, firing as he flew. Multitudes blew apart, swarming over each other to reach Steve and Bucky.

“Get your metal ass back there,” Steve yelled at him, swinging his fists and sending bodies tumbling. “Perform the fucking spell so that we can fucking **leave**!”

“Excuse me for being concerned for your admittedly fine ass,” Tony snarked. “I’ll be back,” he promised, soaring back over the gorge.

“You are _not_ the fucking Terminator!” Bucky shouted. Tony flipped him off.

“Nice try, asswipe,” Tony growled at Lucifer. “I hope you like your prison, ‘cause you won’t be seeing anything else for a good long while.”

Lucifer shed his human appearance, unfolding his wings and standing about twelve feet tall. “You dare to challenge a son of God?” The words thrummed through Tony like his body was a cymbal.

“Yeah.” He shook with anger. “I really do.” He lifted the paper and read; “Tumultus draconis bestia catena prohibe tribulatione mille anni pacis.”

Lucifer howled, beating his wings against the bars of the Cage. “I will hunt down your children and sever them limb from limb,” he screamed.

“Good luck with that,” Tony snarled back. “I’ve got the Winchesters in my corner. You’re not going to win this one.”

Michael leaned his head against the bars, closing his eyes. “You should leave,” he told Tony. “You won’t have much time.”

“Time for what?” Tony glanced back to where Steve and Bucky were fighting.

“Crowley,” Michael said. “He won’t let you go so easily.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Tony assured him. “I have a few surprises up my sleeves.”

Michael opened his eyes again. “It’s not often that mortals surprise me,” he admitted.

“Well, this has been a whole barrel of laughs, but I have to get over there and save my boos,” Tony said, thumbing towards the melee on the other side. “Smell you later, Set.” He let the name fall from his lips like an after-thought and was gratified to see Lucifer’s eyes go wide with shock. “Your jewelry is with the Asgardians. It’s not going to be of any use to you now.”

Lucifer screamed then – a long cry of indescribable rage that made every hair on Tony’s body stand up. “I shall not forgive this!” he shrieked. “Your children and your children’s children and their children’s children will never be safe.”

Tony sniffed. “Good thing I’m not planning on becoming a dad then, isn’t it?” he asked. “Buh-bye.” He headed back towards Steve and Bucky with a jaunty wave.

He flew away from the Cage, slightly disappointed at how anti-climactic it felt. At least he had a good old-fashioned battle to look forward to. “Did you miss me?” he asked Steve as he shot at a particularly gruesome troll-like beast that was trying to decapitate Bucky.

“Desperately,” Steve dead-panned. “You done?”

Tony grinned, sending another beastie over the edge of the gorge to its doom. “Lucifer locked down for another millennium,” he declared. “We just need to make sure we don’t have any kids.”

“What?” Steve stared at him in confusion, twisting the arm of whatever-the-hell-that-was so that it crumpled at his feet.

“Well, Satan’s my bitch, but he’s pissed off at me, big time,” Tony explained, catching the leg of the praying mantis thing that Bucky had just hurled at him. He drop-kicked it off the ledge. “Ten points!” he crowed.

“You’re a very weird guy, Stark,” Bucky informed him, stamping on the neck of something that looked like a pterodactyl. 

“Eccentric,” Tony corrected, scattering several minions with a couple of repulsor blasts. “Not weird.”

“Less talking, more fighting,” Steve ordered. “Back to the tunnel.”

They battled their way to where they’d emerged. Steve headed in first, with Bucky at his heels. Tony took the rear, walking backwards as he shot at whatever tried to follow them. “By the way, apparently Crowley is going to double-cross us,” he yelled as he stumbled against Bucky under the weight of a rock monster.

“Well, that’s a huge surprise,” Bucky said, ducking under Tony’s arm to punch up _through_ the monster.

“Ouch.” Tony winced. “That had to hurt like a mother-fucker.” He shook the creature off him, pushing Bucky behind him again. “Keep going,” he said.

“Not long,” Steve told them. “Almost there.”

The moment they stepped through the end of the tunnel, the hoard that had chased them stopped. They just dissipated like steam. Tony stopped. “Huh,” he said, looking around. “That’s different.”

Crowley was at the entrance of the tunnel on the other side of the bridge. “Congratulations,” he smiled. “I see you made it back alive.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “Any reason you’re over there and we’re over here?” he said.

“So glad you asked.” Crowley beamed at him as though he was a favorite pupil. “I believe I need folks of your caliber down here. You know, to keep the troops in check.”

“You offering us a job?” Bucky shook his head. “Already got one, thanks.”

“It wasn’t a request,” Crowley said. “Sam Winchester turned down his destiny. He was supposed to be the Chosen One, Hell’s Prince.” Crowley’s face twisted. “He chose his brother, mortality, Heaven,” he spat. “Stupid boy.”

“I’m afraid we aren’t going to be able to accommodate you,” Steve said, not sounding apologetic at all. “Now, how about you let us pass and nobody else gets hurt?”

Crowley chuckled. “Oh, you’re just delightful,” he declared. “I’m going to have such fun breaking you in.”

Tony frowned. “That’s not okay,” he said, glaring at Crowley. “We cleaned up your mess and that’s how you repay us? By betraying us?”

Crowley shrugged, holding his hands out. “What do you want me to say? I’m a demon. We lie.”

Tony flipped his faceplate up and bared his teeth. “Well, I’m a human. And we lie too.”

He wrapped his arms around Steve and Bucky. “Now would be good, Hot Chocolate.”

The Bifröst punched through the ground, wrapping them in its unearthly light. 

“No!” Crowley’s face was as red as his eyes. “This isn’t possible!”

“Might not be your God, but he’s great in a pinch,” Tony said as Heimdall dragged them from Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a tough few weeks - job cuts & illness.... thanks for sticking with me. Slightly longer chapter as tribute
> 
> Rough translation of the spell _“Bind the dragon, chain the beast, hold back the tribulation, one thousand years of peace”_


	22. your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's got some 'splaining to do. Heimdall dropped them where?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter this time around. Real life is still kicking ass & taking names. Thanks for sticking by me - your kudos & kind words give me impetus

“Ow.” Tony rubbed at his waist where Steve’s fingers had dug in. “Next time, not so hard, okay? Squishy human without the suit.”

He looked up to see Steve glaring at him. “What?”

“Were you planning on telling us about Heimdall at any point?” Steve asked, his tone dangerously quiet.

“Uh…” Tony realized that Steve was really angry. “Yes?”

Bucky looked around. “Where’d he put us?” _He_ didn’t sound angry, just confused.

“I’m not sure,” Tony admitted. “I just asked for an extraction.”

“So, you got a god to pluck us from Hell and transport us somewhere and desert our friends in the bowels of Purgatory?” Put like that, Tony could understand a little of Steve’s anger. He decided that silence was the better part of valor in this case.

“Uh….” Tony felt a little hunted right now.

“Oh, there they are.” Bucky waved an arm and Tony turned to see Natasha, Clint and the Winchesters hurrying towards them.

“Did you do that?” Natasha reached them first. She was looking straight at Tony.

“Did who do what?” Tony asked, striving for an innocent expression. 

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “A little pre-warning might have been welcome,” she said, voice mild. She was obviously planning his painful torture and death.

“That’s just what I was saying,” Steve said, hands on his hips. “What do you have to say for yourself, Tony?”

“Um, you’re welcome?” Tony didn’t see the problem. 

Natasha took his hand carefully in hers. “Thank you.” Then she twisted his thumb back so hard that he screamed like a girl. “Dumbass.”

By the time she let him go, his entire hand was numb. He rubbed it back to life, settling for glaring at her. “You’re an awful human being,” he griped. 

“You’re alive, aren’t you?” She arched one perfect eyebrow.

“I like your dick attached to your body, Stark,” Bucky told him with a grin. “Stop provoking the pretty lady.”

“Ugh.” Clint made a face. “I really don’t need those kind of visuals, Buchanan.”

“Can someone please explain just what the fuck that was?” Dean Winchester’s bellow had them all looking at him. Sam stood at his shoulder, one big hand on his brother’s arm, either keeping him calm or holding him back. Tony wasn’t quite sure which.

“Oh, that was just the Bifröst,” Tony said with an airy wave. “Thor had Heimdall on standby for us.”

“And you didn’t think of maybe perhaps sharing with the class?” Steve had that pissy look on his face again. The one that usually meant Tony was about to be subjected to _words_.

Tony really hated _words_. Unless he was the one speaking them, and then he loved _all_ of the words.

“I wasn’t sure if we’d need him,” Tony explained. “I mean, usually we win on our own.”

“Hey!” Dean stomped over to Tony, Sam hurrying after him. Definitely holding him back, Tony thought. “What. The fuck. Was. That?”

“It was a friend helping us out of a tight spot,” Steve said. He still looked mad, but he’d stepped a little in front of Tony anyway, protectiveness in every line of his body.

Tony wanted to lick him from head to toe. 

“And a heads-up would have been too much?” Sam was the peace-maker, his hand touching the small of Dean’s back.

“Well, I wasn’t sure if Th….” The crack of lightning interrupting him had Tony grinning. “Well, _he_ can explain.” 

Tony knew that he wasn’t off the hook, but the laughing Norse god who swept him up in his arms had a reluctant smile crossing Steve’s face. “Good to see you, buddy,” Steve said, holding a hand out. “Exceptional timing.”

“I am pleased that I could be of assistance to you, my friends,” Thor boomed. “I had Heimdall watching your progress quote closely.”

“And why didn’t we know about that?” Clint was caressing his bow in an uncomfortably phallic manner. 

Or threatening. Phallically threatening? Threateningly phallic? Tony flinched regardless.

“It was just a little note that I slipped into Vision’s bag of tricks,” Tony hurried to explain. “I asked him to keep an eye on us and to pull us out if things got….hairy.”

“Why didn’t we just use the Bifröst to get into Hell in the first place?” Bucky asked.

“As the brothers Grimm over here told us, getting in was way easier than getting out.” Tony nodded towards the Winchesters. “I didn’t want to show all my cards at once.”

“ _Our_ cards,” Steve corrected. His hand went to Tony’s shoulder and squeezed. “We’re a team, remember?”

Tony winced. That was going to bruise. 

“So where did Heimdall put us?” Natasha asked looking around, apparently over her snit. Tony’s extremities were grateful.

“We’re close to my place.” Clint’s voice went quiet. “The farm…it’s just over….” He swallowed hard, waving towards a small hill.

Tony glared at Thor. “Seriously?” 

Thor shrugged apologetically. “I asked Heimdall to bring you to a remote place that had no chance of the demon-kind being around. I didn’t specify.” He sent a sympathetic glance Clint’s way. “I am truly sorry for his blunder, friend Hawk.”

Clint waved his apology away. “Don’t worry, Thor. At least we can contact Fury from there.” He started walking and they all followed him.

“Seriously, Tony?” It was Steve’s turn to hiss at him apparently. He bumped Tony’s shoulder as they walked. 

Tony felt extremely put-upon. “Excuse me, but my genius ability to think laterally just saved our asses from literal Hell. I can’t be held responsible for _where_ Heimdall dropped us off.” He moved away from Steve, pissed off himself now. 

Falling back to walk with Sam and Dean, he set his mouth in a thin line. “You having a tiff with loverboy?” Dean asked, seemingly okay with the situation after his little explosion. Tony wondered just how messed-up Dean’s life had been that being beamed by a god out of Hell was just another day in the office.

“He’s a pain in my ass,” Tony growled, shoving his hands under his armpits. The late afternoon air was chilly.

“You really shouldn’t give Dean an opening like that,” Sam advised Tony with a little smile. “He’s not one to let that sort of thing slide.”

Tony snorted a laugh. “I should know better, being around Barton all this time.”

“What happened down there?” Dean’s green eyes were genuinely curious. “Did you get the job done?”

Tony side-eyed him. “We’re the Avengers, what do you think?”

“You’re a dick, that’s what I think,” Dean shot back. Tony really wanted to be his best friend. 

“Satan got a nasty surprise, Crowley got an even bigger one, Apocalypse averted,” Tony said, spreading his hands out wide. “All in a day’s work.”

“I’m surprised you ever get laid,” Dean said.

“Lots of money.” Tony held up a finger. “World famous superhero.” He held up a second. “Hung like a horse.” He stuck up his middle finger.

“You’re a dick.” Dean shook his head, but he was laughing.

Tony grinned, good humor restored. “Damn straight.” He sobered then, staring at the tense line of Clint’s shoulders. He had some apologizing to do.

~o0o~

Tony sucked in a breath as they stood on top of the small hill. Clint’s farm was spread out below them, as warm and welcoming now as it had been so long ago.

“Nice.” Dean whistled. “This your place, Barton?”

Clint seemed to shake himself awake. “Yeah.” His voice was hoarse. “Haven’t been home in a while.”

Tony moved to Clint’s side. “I’m sorry.” It was all he could say and it was entirely not enough.

Clint met his gaze. “I should have sold it.”

“No.” Bucky sounded very sure. “You need a nest, Hawkeye.”

“I’m not a fucking bird, Barnes.” Clint glared at him. “It’s just my call-sign.”

“No.” Again, simple and sure. “It isn’t.” That beautiful metal arm came up and rested on Clint’s shoulder. “We all need a nest. This one is yours.”

Clint’s face crumpled and he let Bucky haul him in. He slumped against Bucky, arms loose around his waist. “God, I miss them _so_ much.” His voice was muffled against Bucky’s chest.

Tony felt like a complete asshole. “I….” 

Natasha nudged him with a pointy elbow. “He’ll be okay,” she said. “You didn’t plan this.”

“I…” Tony flapped his hands a little helplessly. Emotions were his least favorite thing about being an adult. 

Steve dropped an arm around his shoulders. He didn’t say anything, just walked beside Tony, a broad, solid presence that grounded him like nothing else had ever done. 

They were a quiet group as they trooped up the steps to the farmhouse. Tony wasn’t even surprised when the front door opened and Coulson waited for them.

“Agent,” he said as he filed past.

“Stark.” Coulson’s head dipped slightly and his eyes were cool as they slid over the team. 

“I don’t even want to know how you knew we were going to be here,” Clint said, shaking his head. “You bring the jet?”

Coulson’s mouth curled a little. “No, I apparated.”

Tony met Clint’s gaze with horrified glee. When they started howling with laughter, everyone else stared in confusion.

“I don’t understand,” Thor frowned. “Is this a Midgardian mode of transport that you have not told me about?”

Tony and Clint just laughed harder, leaning against one another as they wheezed. “He apparated!” Tony told Clint.

Steve sighed. “Agent Coulson.” He shook Coulson’s hand. “I’m not going to ask, just damn glad to see you.”

“I’m equally pleased to see you all returned from your little adventure in one piece, Captain.” Coulson’s eyes crinkled a little at Natasha. “Widow.”

“Sir.” She walked past Clint and Tony, bumping them slightly so that they fell over, still cackling. “Children.”

Tony lay back on the floor, sticking his tongue out at her. “I’m totally your favorite,” he told her.

“You really aren’t,” she said, one side of her mouth twitching. 

Bucky hauled Tony to his feet and Steve did the same with Clint. “You are a trial, Stark,” Bucky said with a smile.

Tony staggered towards the sofa that was calling his name. “I’m going to sleep for a thousand years,” he informed the room, face-planting into its delicious softness.

“Oof!” Clint landed on top of him, expelling all of the air from his lungs.

“I’ll kiss you awake, Sleeping Beauty,” Clint mumbled into the back of his neck.

“’Kay,” Tony agreed. “Night.”

And he was out.


	23. I end up telling my own story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's the story morning glory....Goodbye to new friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my company burned down. that's my excuse for the lack ofupdate. maybe one or 2 more chapters

Tony woke to the smell of coffee. He realized only once he’d rolled off the bed that someone had moved him while he’d been sleeping.

Holding his arms out, he lumbered to the kitchen, following the tantalizing scent of his drug of choice. “Coffeeeeeee,” he intoned.

He walked, face-first, into a big, open hand. “Stop.” Steve sounded amused.

“Why?” Tony whined, making grabby hands at the elusive elixir.

“You were about to walk into a wall,” Steve told him, taking his shoulders and guiding him into the kitchen. “Good morning, Tony.”

“Coffeeeee,” Tony sang again in lieu of a greeting.

A large mug of steaming brain juice was pressed into his hands. “You’re embarrassing yourself,” Dean told him. “ _I’m_ not even that bad.” Tony inhaled the coffee in almost one swallow. He still needed to figure out a way to do this intravenously.

A snort from the other side of the room said that Dean lied. “Sure,” Sam said around a mouthful of food. “You’re a peach.”

“Damn right.” Dean nodded. 

“Gimme some more of that, Georgia,” Tony demanded, holding out his empty mug.

“Do you have a galvanized throat?” Dean asked, clearly reluctantly impressed as he filled the cup again.

“It’s one of my super powers,” Tony told him with his most earnest face.

Steve sighed. “Sit down, please. Have something to eat.” He ushered Tony towards the breakfast nook currently occupied by Sam and Bucky.

“Please God tell me that Natasha didn’t cook?” Tony remembered the last time that had happened. He’d been admitted to the hospital with gastric poisoning.

“I’m going assume that means you don’t like my food?” Natasha’s question had Tony startling.

“Bells!” he yelped, karate-chopping the air.

She smirked.

“I made it,” Steve said, shoving Tony down next to Bucky. “I think we all needed a little comfort food.”

Tony looked down at his plate. It was overflowing with pancakes and bacon and eggs and syrup and mountains of butter. His stomach rumbled a plea. 

“Eat.” Steve watched as Tony lifted his fork obediently. “Buck, keep an eye on him.”

Only as he walked back to the stove did Tony realize that Steve was wearing an exceptionally frilly apron. “Oh my god,” he crowed. “You _have_ to wear that to bed one night, and nothing else!”

The back of Steve’s neck went red but he didn’t turn around. 

“Show a little respect, dickhead,” Bucky said, shoveling a forkful into his mouth. “It was Clint’s wife’s.”

Tony blanched, scanning the area. “He’s outside with Coulson,” Natasha said coolly.

“You just open your mouth to change feet, don’t you?” Steve sighed again.

Tony decided that speech this time of the morning was over-rated. He focused on his food.

Dean nudged Sam over, squashing him into the corner of the nook. “Move over, Sasquatch,” he grunted, putting a plate in front of Sam. “Time to eat, Sammy-boy.”

Sam’s glower as he bent his head to his food, hair falling across his face, reminded Tony so much of Bucky in that moment that he smiled.

“What are you smiling at?” Bucky asked. “It’s creepy.”

Tony just shook his head. His mouth had already landed him in enough trouble. 

“Should we go and check on him?” Steve’s worried eyes went to the window out back. Tony could just see Clint chopping firewood, Coulson standing close-by, a suited sentinel.

“Agent Agent’s got it,” Tony assured him. “He’ll keep Legolas from flying too close to the sun.”

“You’re mixing up your references,” Natasha told him, the chill now gone from her eyes.

“Eh.” Tony grinned as Bucky dodged the flailing fork that he was waving around. “I’m a technological genius, not a literary one.”

“You’re an idiot,” Natasha told him. Tony almost believed that she was actually feeling actual _feelings_. It was strangely terrifying.

“Be nice,” Steve chided her. “He’s the one who keeps you in Widow’s Bites and vodka.” He winked at Tony.

“Pfft.” Natasha’s eyebrow rose. “Getting your boyfriend to fight your battles for you these days, Stark?”

Tony made sure he smiled at her with _all_ of his half-masticated food showing. “Yesh.”

Sam snorted coffee out of his nose and Dean made a noise that sounded like a dying whale as he laughed. 

Tony was keeping them forever.

~o0o~

Forever turned out to be about two hours when Coulson eventually came back into the house, Clint nowhere to be seen. He passed a set of keys to Dean. “She’s a beauty,” he said.

Sam gaped at him. “You drove Baby here?” His eyes were wide with awe.

Dean guppied for a moment or ten. Tony worried that he’d lost the power of speech. 

Bucky waved a hand in front of Dean’s face. “You in there, Winchester?”

“I think he’s gone into some sort of fugue state,” Tony said. He turned his gaze to Sam. “What’s that about?”

“Nobody drives Baby but Dean,” Sam said, eyes worried on Dean.

“Not even you?” Steve asked.

“Only if Dean’s injured, dying or wanting food.” Sam tapped Dean’s arm. “Dude.”

Dean shook his head. “You’d better have treated her nice,” he growled at Coulson.

“Rode her hard, put her away wet,” Coulson assured him. The _balls_ on the guy. 

Dean made a high noise that practically burst Tony’s eardrums. Only Sam’s hand on Dean’s shoulder prevented him from lunging at Coulson.

“A man’s car is his castle, Agent,” Tony informed Coulson. “You’re treading on dangerous ground.”

Coulson merely smiled a shark-like smile that gave away nothing. “And you weren’t itching to get your hands on that engine?” 

Tony shook his head, swallowing the last of the pancakes. “I know better.” He pointed his fork at Coulson. “I hope you realize what you’ve done.”

“I’ve returned the man’s vehicle to him.” Coulson’s voice was still smooth and calm. “I think he’d prefer to leave as soon as possible.”

“ _He_ would like to have made that decision himself.” Dean had finally found his voice again.

Tony could see the hunter then, the stone-cold killer that struck fear in the heart of Hell. Coulson met Dean’s gaze with his usual aplomb.

And twitched. 

It was a beautiful thing.

“I apologize for presuming,” Coulson said, sounding anything but apologetic. “My concern was to get here as quickly as possible.” 

They all kept their eyes away from the windows, pretending that Clint wasn’t outside somewhere, falling apart.

“Okay.” Dean cleared his throat. “Just so we’re clear?” In the manner of dangerous men, they nodded at each other. Tony wanted to ask if they would like to check their dick size.

“Crystal,” Coulson said.

Tony frowned. Looked around. “Hey,” he said. “Where’s Thor?”

“Asgard,” Steve said, nudging Tony’s plate towards him again. “He’s going to collect Vision and Wanda and meet us back at the tower.” 

Tony sighed, digging back in again and then stopped. “Did anyone let Wilson and Rhodey know that the crisis had passed?” Tony at Steve. “I assume that the mind-control that Set had in place has fallen away?”

Natasha nodded in reply. “I called Bruce,” she said. “He was going to let the boys know. And check on the status of the hold that Set had on some of the folks they removed from the President’s service.”

Tony made a kissy face at her. “And how is my favorite big, green, hulking machine?”

“Do that again and I’ll feed your lips to you,” Natasha said pleasantly.

“You’re the second scariest person I know,” Tony confessed.

“Who’s at number one?” Dean asked.

“Pepper,” Tony replied. “I have actual holes in my feet thanks to her stilettos.” 

Natasha sniffed. “And people think you’re an idiot,” she said. Tony tipped his coffee cup at her.

“Anyone need a ride?” Clint walked into the kitchen, face set. 

“While the power of flight is at _my_ disposal, I think the rest of you are pretty much earthbound,” Tony said.

“Hill just arrived with a Quinjet,” Clint told him. “She said that Fury sent her.”

“How the hell does he _always_ know shit?” Bucky shook his head. “No wonder Hydra wanted him dead.”

Tony barely controlled his flinch. He didn’t like to remember Bucky being at the mercy of those assholes. Or Bucky being the one who’d shot Fury in the first place.

“Let’s get moving then.” Steve got to his feet, dragging Tony with him. “I reckon there will be a fair amount of clean-up to be done once the brain-washed people start coming back to themselves.”

“That anyone but us will have to do,” Tony finished. “We’ve done the avenging bit, the rest of the spies can take care of the whitewash.” He tilted his chin when Steve looked at him. “I also need to let Pepper know that I’m alive, and not a minion of the Devil.”

Bucky stood too. “I could do with a little down-time,” he admitted. “Places to go, people to do.” He grinned at Steve’s quelling glare.

Sam slid out of the nook after Dean. “We’re going to get out of here too,” he said, putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I guess our work here is done. Anyway, we have some unfinished business with a Lady.” He didn’t sound as though he thought much of the ‘lady’.

“Anything I can help with? You two were a real asset on this one.” Tony offered. “I have the resources of the multiverse at my fingertips.” He wiggled said fingertips.

“Could be.” Dean handed him a card with a number. “My mobile number’s on the back,” he said. “And if you can get me anything you can about Lady Antonia Bevell and the London chapter of the Men of Letters, we’d be much obliged.”

Sam scowled. “Why are you so determined to go after her?” He shook his head. “Just forget about her.”

“She _shot_ you, Sammy.” Dean looked like he wanted to shake Sam.

Tony was dying to know the story behind that exchange. Sam’s shoulders hunched up around his ears. “You need to stop being so over-protective,” he muttered.

“Stop getting yourself killed and then maybe we can negotiate on that,” Dean snapped back.

Tony blinked.

_So_ wanted to know that story.

“Thanks, you guys.” Clint hugged Dean first, and then Sam. “We couldn’t have done this without you.”

Sam squeezed him a little. “Don’t wait so long between calls, Barton. We like to know that our friends are still alive.”

Dean nodded. “We only have a few left now. Don’t be a douche.” He poked at Clint’s chest when Sam let him go.

Clint looked almost himself again, still pale, but that ever-present twinkle in his eyes had returned, albeit a little duller than usual. “Hand on my heart,” he promised.

Steve shook Dean’s hand. “Thank you.” He did sincerity like breathing. “Clint is right. We owe you.’

Dean grinned. “I’m the type who collects on my debts,” he warned. “It was good meeting you, Captain. I’m glad some things in life aren’t an over-exaggeration.”

“He means that he’s bringing his Captain America First Edition the next time for you to sign,” Sam explained.

Dean’s glare could have leveled a city block. “I know where you sleep, Samantha.” Sam didn’t seem too worried.

“Winchester.” Tony held a hand out. “Thanks for introducing me to the Devil.”

Dean made a scoffing noise. “I don’t believe that was your first rodeo with Lucifer, Stark.”

Tony grinned. “I’ll never tell.” He shook Sam’s hand. “Good luck with keeping this one out of trouble,” he said, tilting his head towards Dean.

Sam’s dimples flashed briefly. “Been trying all my life,” he admitted. “Not the best track record for either of us.”

“You need help, you call us.’ Tony gave Sam a card. “That number will give you direct access to F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’ll get the call at once.”

Sam nodded his thanks. 

Waving goodbye to the others, the Winchesters headed outside to the barn with Tony and Clint. The Impala was parked inside, gleaming in the sunlight that shoved through the wooden panels of the barn. Tony sighed wistfully. “She’s a beauty.”

Dean ran a hand across the bonnet, up the windscreen and patted the top of the car above the driver’s door. “She’s saved us more times than I can count.”

Sam loaded their duffels into the trunk, making his way to the passenger door. “Well,” Steve began.

Dean held up one hand. “No chick flick moments,” he said. “It’s our policy.”

Clint pulled Dean into another hug. “Take care of each other,” he ordered, sounding a little hoarse.

“Always,” Sam promised.

And they were gone. Tony was going to miss those fuckers.

When they got back to the house, they had another visitor

“You need a ride?” Hill leaned casually against the kitchen door, coffee cup in her hand.

“No thanks, emasculating woman of mystery,” Tony said. “I have my own wings.”

She smiled, all sharp teeth and wickedness. “Race you?”

Tony lunged for the briefcase as the rest of the team scrambled for the door.


	24. there are many names in history... but none of them are ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony & Fury have a confrontation. Uatu makes an appearance. And the future changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am **so** sorry. I had to wrestle with this chapter for ages  & am still not entirely happy.
> 
> Meh.
> 
> One more & done.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me.

Of course Tony beat them home. He strolled across the landing, letting F.R.I.D.A.Y. remove the suit from him.

“Anything I need to know?” he asked, walking into the living room. “What the fuck?” he yelped.

“Director Fury is here, sir,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. told him.

“One day I’m going to scrub your circuits and replace you with a microwave oven!” Tony threatened.

“Indeed, sir.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn’t even attempt to sound contrite.

“Stark.”

“Cyclops.” Tony went for casual, but nothing about Fury was casual.

“I heard you danced with the Devil,” Fury said, eye-patch twitching. “You lead?”

“It was a Paso Doble,” Tony drawled. “Skewered him.”

Fury nodded. “Good job.”

Tony almost fell over. “A compliment?” He held one hand to his chest. “I do declare, suh…” with his best southern belle imitation.

“I wanted to talk to you before the others got back.” Fury ignored Tony’s admittedly feeble attempt to irritate him. “A little birdie told me that you, the Soldier and the Captain have been knocking boots.”

Tony stared at him. “Knocking boots?” 

“Bumping uglies, playing hide the salami, fucking like bunnies.” Fury just sounded impatient now.

“First of all, ew.” Tony held up on finger. “And second of all, none of your fucking business.” He held up his middle finger.

Fury scowled at him. “This is a big mistake,” he began.

“We are adults,” Tony interrupted. “And again, none of your fucking business.” He was starting to get seriously pissed off.

“Captain America is the defacto leader of the Avengers. Him being associated in any way with you, apart from as a team-mate, is likely to tarnish his image in the eyes of the American people…” Fury was working up a head of steam.

Tony wasn’t going to stand for it. “Stop right there,” he gritted, holding out a hand. “What we do on our down time has nothing to do with you.”

“I created you, I can break you down.” Fury’s eye narrowed. “You think I won’t’?”

“What’s going on here?” Rhodey’s voice broke into the tension that hung in the air like a blanket. “Tony?” Sam and Bruce stood at his back.

Tony couldn’t help the snarl that twisted his face. “Hello my little pork dumpling, _Director_ Fury is threatening to shut down the Avengers Initiative if I don’t stop fucking Steve and Buck.”

Rhodey looked Fury. “You realize that if Tony walks, I do too, right?” His mouth was a tight, thin line. “Not even Captain America would make me stay.”

“Tony Stark is…” 

“My friend.” Bruce’s tone was uncompromising. “He’s the only reason I’m still around.”

Fury’s teeth clacked together. His skin darkened. “Is this a mutiny?” 

“It’s a guaran-damn-tee.” Steve wasn’t one to make an entrance, but when he did, it was a doozy. Tony wanted to jump up and down, pointing and squealing like a teenaged girl. “We come as a set.”

Bucky, Natasha and Clint formed a line behind Steve. They were silent but clear. The Avengers were a team.

The crack of thunder had everyone jumping. Thor, Wanda and Vision appeared in the golden stream of the Bifröst. “Friends!” Thor boomed. “We are all together once more! We have vanquished our foes! It is time for revelry!”

“Uh….” Tony had no idea how much Thor had heard. But he was being so very Thor-like in his exuberance that nobody would be able to stop him.

“Friend Furious, you must feast with us and celebrate our victory,” Thor announced, clapping Fury hard enough on his shoulder that he stumbled a few steps forward. 

Tony caught Thor’s wink out of the corner of his eye. Lord above, he loved that giant alien.

“Victory?” Fury looked like he’d swallowed something vile. 

“The Man of Iron, the Captain of America and the Soldier of Winter returned from Hel, having vanquished the enemy!” Thor beamed at Fury. “Tis a feat worthy of much festivity!”

Tony barely contained his snort of laughter. Thor was laying it on a bit thick, even for him.

“Dear god.” Fury threw up his hands. “Trying to have a sensible conversation with _any_ of you is like trying to talk to toddlers.”

“We’re very reasonable people,” Bruce said. “Unless you mess with us. Then, we get _un_ reasonable. And angry.” The slight green flush on his cheeks had Tony holding a breath. 

Fury was made of sterner stuff and pointed a finger at Tony. “Don’t you fuck this up, Stark. You don’t want to be on my shit list.” 

Tony curled his lip. “I’m not a complete idiot,” he said. “I know this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m not going to fuck it up. I’ll die trying to make it work.”

Fury stared at him for a moment. “I actually believe you,” he mused. “It must be snowing in Hell.”

“Possibly,” Tony admitted. “Lucifer wasn’t very happy when we left him there.”

Fury shook his head. “I’m too old for this shit,” he muttered.

“I understood that reference,” Steve declared, a grin on his face. “Lethal Weapon, right?” Tony wanted to eat him up in tiny little bites. And then make him come his brains out.

Fury just gave Tony the snake-eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you’re watching me,” Tony grumbled. 

“You’d better believe it, Stark. You’re a loose cannon. I don’t like cannons.” Fury stood up, his annoyance a palpable cloak around him.

“Don’t let the door hit your ass on your way out,” Tony called as Fury swept out in a dramatic swirl of leather and pissed-off-itude.

Steve frowned. “You always antagonize him,” he said. 

“And he always responds beautifully,” Tony replied. “If he didn’t want to, he’d just ignore me.”

Bruce snorted. “Because you’re never in his face or anything.”

Tony blew him a kiss. “Thanks for the back-up by the way, Brucie-boo. I love it when you get all ‘grr…argggg’ in your Bruce suit.” He made the appropriate clawed hands.

Bruce sighed. “I’m so grateful some days that you decided not to procreate.” He was smiling though.

“Please, as if the world could handle more of the Stark awesome,” Tony scoffed.

“More of the Stark awful, you mean,” Sam said, helping himself to a tumbler of Tony’s best scotch.

Tony flipped him a lazy bird. “You’re just sad that you don’t get to tap this,” he said.

“I hate you,” Sam choked after swallowing the whiskey down the wrong pipe. “Actual hate.”

Thor gave Sam a helpful thump on his back. Sam hit the floor humiliatingly quickly. It got really silly after that. 

~o0o~

It was much later that Tony finally got a moment to himself. He left Steve, Bucky and the others in the living room, escaping to the shower.

Reaction was always slow to set in. He shook beneath the sheet of water that pounding against his skin. He’d just come back from Hell. You’d think that all the crap that he’d seen in his time as Iron Man, a trip to actual Hell wouldn’t have phased him. 

Tony talked a good game.

And there was that little matter of time travel. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He’d been dropped into a life that wasn’t truly his own, that he didn’t deserve to claim as his own. Even if that previous life, where he’d been responsible for the death of one of his best friends, faded with every breath. 

He swallowed hard, resting his forehead against the glass tiles. “I’m so fucked,” he whispered.

_You have done well._ The voice in his head startled him. 

_Uatu?_ Tony remembered the name, it was the clearest memory he still had apart from Steve’s body on the courthouse steps.

_Yes_ Uatu replied. _I wished to inform you that I have made a bargain with the One-Above-All if you wish to accept it._

_What kind of bargain?_ Tony was wary. The last time he’d spoken with Uatu, he’d been sent back to right a wrong and ended up with no Pepper and a pair of boyfriends. And just who the hell was the One-Above-All?

_You have set right what you caused to break?_ It was a casual question with a very not-casual answer.

_Sort of,_ Tony hedged. _Maybe?_

_I see your conflict, Tony Stark, and that is why I would give you another choice._ Uatu sounded amused.

_You told me this was a one-way thing,_ Tony reminded him. _You change your mind?_

_It is not I who changed, but the One-Above-All._ Uatu paused. _He has been watching you and wishes to grant you a boon._

_Why?_ Tony was confused. _I haven’t done anything really._ And he hadn’t. Just because he’d spoken to General Ross was no guarantee that the Superhero Registration Act wouldn’t come into being.

_Would you do the same as before?_ Uatu asked. _Make the same choices as you did in the future?_

Tony shook his head even as Uatu was asking. _No way,_ he said. _The SRA would never get the Stark stamp of approval._

_Then you would never be at odds with your beloved._

Tony scrubbed at his face. This was all getting confusing. _I like the person I’ve become since I’ve been here,_ h said, thinking of the changes he’d made, some subtle, some not.

_Indeed,_ Uatu agreed. _The you that is here now is not the you that was there then. The you that came back to this time was close to the you that you were but no longer are._

Tony’s head hurt. _Okay, that’s enough._ He got out of the shower, Hell washing off him with soap and hope and spiraling away down the drainpipe. _Can I stay here?_ The thought of being sent back to that time … the time where he and Steve were at each other’s throats, where Steve was dead…he felt sick.

_At the start of your journey you asked for the chance to save your Captain._

_But that isn’t guaranteed, is it?_ Tony asked as he dropped the towel and rummaged in his drawers for a shirt and boxers.. _I won’t know if I saved him until 2017._

_Why would I do that?_ Uatu asked him, sounding a little offended. _It would be cruel of me to offer redemption with one hand and still punish you with the other._

_Two years,_ Tony mused, sitting down on the edge of the bed. _That’s more than I could have wished for._

_Once I bid you goodbye, the last of your memories of your life before, your life then, will dissipate forever,_ Uatu warned.

Tony barely refrained from rolling his eyes. Supernatural beings all had the tendency to pontificate. _I don’t remember much anymore anyway,_ he admitted.

_The timeline that you walk along now is a new one._ Uatu’s voice was fading. _Be happy, Tony Stark._

_Wait!_ Suddenly Tony was terrified. _What if I fuck up again? You know that I’ll fuck up again._

_There are no more new beginnings,_ Uatu told him. _Just follow your heart._ And the presence that had filled his head was gone.

Tony actually rolled his eyes then. “Goddamn, fucking asshole, omniscient, wannabe fuck-with-my-head…” He wanted to kick something.

“Tony?” Bruce stood in the doorway. “You okay?”

Tony blinked at him. “Uh…” 

Bruce came into the room. “That was an interesting list of expletives,” he noted, dropping down beside Tony. “Anything I should know about?”

“Uh…” And for the life of him, Tony couldn’t remember why he’d been pissed off.

~o0o~

Tony flapped an impatient hand. “Fuck’s sake,” he groused, “Leave it alone already!” 

Steve smacked his hand away. “Stop fucking fidgeting and then maybe we can be done with this.” The steely-eyed patented ‘Captain’ glare was leveled at Tony. “God, you’re such a baby!”

“That’s not what you said last night,” Tony leered, waggling his eyebrows.

Steve looked distinctly unimpressed. “You look like a demented Labrador,” he said, finally stepping away. “There, it’s done.”

“Thank fuck,” Tony groaned. “Only you would make a big deal out of tying a bow tie, Rogers.”

“And only you would make it such a big _or_ deal, Stark.” Steve shook his head. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”

Tony kissed him quickly, skipping out of Steve’s reach with a gleeful cackle. “Because you love me,” he sang. “I am the wind beneath your wings.”

Steve rubbed a hand over his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” He sounded incredibly fond.

Bucky burst into the room. “You two douchenozzles are holding everything up!” He grabbed each of them by the hand. “Move it!”

Tony balked on principle. “I’m never on time,” he protested. “The world would probably end if I was.”

“I know that Nat will end _you_ , if you’re late,” Bucky said, towing them behind him. 

“The wedding won’t start without us,” Tony declared. “We’re kinda important.”

“Not _that_ important,” Steve said, dropping an arm around Tony’s waist. Somehow he and Bucky had managed to sandwich Tony between them, hustling him along.

“It’s a conspiracy!” Tony yelled. 

“I will rip off your head and spit in the hole.” Natasha’s hiss had them stumbling to a halt. “Get your fucking ass down there, Stark.” She pointed to the garden where Bruce stood, nervously fiddling with his tie.

“Fuck.” Tony couldn’t take his eyes off her. “You look gorgeous, Mata Hari.” 

She curled a lip in a small smile. “Of course I do.” She pointed again. “Ass. Move. Now.”

Tony moved, Bucky at his heels. He turned back only once to see Steve lean down and brush her cheek with a kiss. He did not have a lump in his throat, dammit.

“If I still liked dames…” Bucky mused. Tony nodded silent agreement as they pushed the doors open leading to the garden. “Still not sure if Banner is a lucky man or needs therapy,” Bucky added. 

Tony traipsed down the path scattered with thousands of bright green four-leafed clovers and flat black and red spider cut-outs. Natasha really shouldn’t have trusted him with the décor. He was goddamn hilarious.

“Lucky,” Tony assured him. “Damn fucking lucky.” He reached Bruce eventually. “You doing okay there, boo?” Bucky peeled off to sit down beside Rhodey and Sam. The team took up both front rows. It was reserved for family after all.

Bruce swallowed hard, his eyes wide and panicked. “What the hell am I doing, Tony? I must be out of my freaking mind.” He was breathing like he’d run a marathon.

Tony put both his hands on Bruce’s shoulders. “You are marrying the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said. “The fact that she could gut you like a fish has nothing to do with your fear.”

Bruce’s panic faded into a glare. “You’re an asshole,” he told Tony. “I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to make you my best man.”

“Pfft,” Tony sniffed. “You know I was the only name on that list.” 

Bruce let his head drop against Tony’s shoulder. “She’s sort of perfect though, isn’t she?”

Tony snorted. “If a deadly praying mantis who can fuck you and then murder you afterwards is your idea of perfect, then totally.”

Bruce lifted his head, a grin on his face. “It really is,” he said.

The strains of Queen’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ started up and everyone turned to see Clint walking down the aisle. 

The laughter grew louder and louder as he walked past the rows of guests.

He stood opposite Tony and Bruce, his eyes narrow and promising swift retribution. “I suggest you never sleep again, Stark,” he mumbled.

“But you look so pretty in your red velvet suit, baby.” Tony made a kissy-face at him. “The green tie just brings out the color of your eyes.”

Bruce’s strangled laughter had Tony grinning harder.

“Nat is going to tear off your balls and feed them to her pet iguana,” Clint told him.

“Who do you think chose the tie?” Tony shot back.

The betrayed expression on Clint’s face was priceless. They were all laughing their asses off then, even as the bride and Steve headed towards them.

“Dead.” Clint said, making a slitting motion across his throat.

Tony turned his gaze to Natasha whose eyes were bright and mouth was smiling. “Totally worth it,” he said, jutting his chin out toward her. “Totally.”


	25. in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's happily ever after...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally done - a million apologies for the wait but the plot bunnies have been nibbling at my brain & I have about 3 new stories plotted out clamoring for attention.
> 
> Thank you for your patience & encouragement. I would like you to know that I may not reply to the comments but I clasp every one of them to my ample bosom with joy.
> 
> Until next time <3

“I heard that people often get lucky at weddings,” Tony said as he swayed in Bucky’s arms. “Do you think I have a chance?”

Bucky grinned down at him, tugging Tony closer. “Anyone special in mind?” he asked.

“The blond over there,” Tony said, turning Bucky so that he could see where Steve was dancing with Wanda.

“Hm.” Bucky made an approving noise. “He’s pretty.”

Tony looked at Bucky. “A wager, perhaps?” He raised an eyebrow.

“What’s the prize?” Bucky countered.

“First one to second base gets to choose the next toy.” 

Bucky’s eyes were narrow on Tony. “Second base? Are you twelve?”

Tony stuck his tongue out at him. “So what do you suggest, Mr. Maturity?”

The smile that crossed Bucky’s face was pure evil. “We let the pretty boy choose.”

“Well, that’s not going to work,” Tony protested. “You’re his favorite.” Two years together and Tony still bitched about it.

“Get over it, Stark,” Bucky said. “It’s all about the arm.” 

Tony knew Bucky was joking, but there was something almost breathtaking about the new arm. Tony had spent months on it, lovingly putting together a prosthetic arm that looked, felt and behaved just like a real one. The gratitude sex after he’d given it to Bucky had been pretty spectacular.

“May I cut in?” Rhodey tapped Bucky on the shoulder and nodded at Tony. 

“Aw, Pookie, you jealous?” Tony crooned as Bucky handed him over to Rhodey with a grin.

“Endlessly,” Rhodey dead-panned. He put his hands on Tony’s waist. “I’m leading.”

Tony snickered a little. “Asserting your heteronormative masculinity?” He deliberately stood on Rhodey’s foot.

“You learned how to dance from Jarvis,” Rhodey said. “I _know_ how badly you lead.” He kicked Tony’s ankle.

Tony grinned, dropping his head onto Rhodey’s shoulder. “It was a beautiful wedding,” he sighed.

“It was,” Rhodey agreed. “Especially when the Other Guy showed up for the second set of vows.”

Tony turned so that his laughter was muffled against Rhodey’s neck. “Oh my god, that was fucking hilarious.”

“After we’d all shit our pants we had a good laugh,” Rhodey said. “You couldn’t have warned us?”

Tony shrugged, slumping a little more against Rhodey. “Wasn’t sure it would happen,” he confessed. “Our giant avocado tends to avoid people when there’s no need for avenging.”

“How’d you get him to do it?”

“Told him that Banner was going to keep Nat all to himself from now on if he didn’t,” Tony said. “I figured a little old-fashioned green-eyed monster taunting would do the trick.”

Rhodey shifted, holding Tony up. “You made Nat’s day,” he said and Tony could feel the smile against his hair.

“I know,” Tony intoned.

Rhodey snorted. “You are not Han Solo. You will never _b_ Han Solo.”

Tony pretended to pout as he pulled back. “I could totally be Han Solo,” he insisted. It was the principle of the thing.

“Are you happy, Tones?” The abrupt subject change made Tony a little dizzy.

“What?” He blinked at Rhodey.

“I just want to know if you’re happy.” Rhodey watched Tony’s face carefully.

Tony swallowed hard. It wasn’t in his nature to talk about emotions. But this was Rhodey. Rhodey who knew him better than anyone, except perhaps for Pepper.

“If I say yes, will you leave it at that?” he countered. 

Rhodey shrugged. “Maybe.” His gaze didn’t move though. 

“I had a fucked up childhood,” Tony began.

“I was there for a lot of it,” Rhodey reminded him.

“Just shut up and let me get this out.” Tony glared. “You asked.”

Rhodey nodded. “I’ll recognize any stalling tactics,” he warned.

Tony looked across the dance floor to where Bucky had cut in on Steve and Wanda. Steve was grinning at Bucky as he was twirled across the floor. “I’m the product of my upbringing,” he said over a lump in his throat. “Everyone thinks I should be happy because I’m so rich or smart or handsome.” Rhodey snorted. 

Tony grinned at the sound. “That’s not why I’m happy.” 

“Enlighten me,” Rhodey prodded.

“I’m happy because I have the best friends in the world. Friends who would literally lie on a grenade for me.” Tony had managed to avoid the water-works at the wedding ceremony, but apparently he was still emo-guy. “I’m happy because I have the best job in the world.”

“Avenging?” Rhodey asked.

“Eh, it’s okay.” Tony grinned. “Plus, all the cool alien tech, amirite?”

“If you get alien tech it means that we’re being attacked,” Rhodey pointed out. “Not always a great by-product.”

“Silver linings, Sweetpea, silver linings.” Tony waved the hand that was on Rhodey’s shoulder. 

Rhodey dipped him suddenly. “I knew something was happening with you when you broke up with Pepper and got together with the two old men,” he said when he pulled Tony back up. “I know that you talked to Bruce about it.” He sounded only slightly offended.

“Uh…” Tony squinted, trying to remember his own headspace back then. It was a fairly blank space. “It was? I did?” 

“It was, and you did,” Rhodey assured him. “I was mildly pissed off at you. Why didn’t you come to me?”

Again Tony tried to remember why he’d talked to Bruce about something that had obviously bothered his bestie for two years. “I have no idea,” he admitted eventually. “Maybe we should ask the groom?”

Rhodey’s arms tightened around him. “Don’t pester him today, Tones. He just got married.”

“Which is, of course, exactly why I _should_ pester him,” Tony insisted, trying to drag Rhodey across the dance floor towards the happy couple. Well, Bruce was smiling at least. With Natasha, it was a crapshoot.

“Tony.” Rhodey was laughing as he protested. “It’s not that important.”

Tony shook his head. “You’re still mad at me two years later, Buttercup. It’s important.”

They reached Natasha and Bruce who were doing a vague facsimile of a shuffle. Natasha was leading. “So, Rhodey the real boy, is wanting to know what was so secret when I broke it off with Pep and took up with my boys that I only spoke to Bruce here.”

Bruce stared at him. “What?”

“The thing. You know. That I didn’t talk to him about?” He jabbed a thumb at Rhodey.

“What thing?” Bruce asked, eyebrows drawn in a straight line. “There was no thing.”

“There was too a thing,” Tony insisted. “James the Giant Peach says there was a thing, so there was a thing.”

“What thing?” Natasha asked. “And why didn’t I know about it?”

“The thing!” Rhodey pointed between Tony and Bruce. “That they talked about and never told us about.”

“What thing?” Steve asked, coming up behind Tony with Bucky in tow.

“Oh my god,” Tony grabbed Bruce’s face between his palms. “There was a thing apparently that I confided in you about that Rhodey didn’t know about and he’s all still mopey and shit. What was the thing?”

“Well, you’ve never talked about your sex life with _me_ ,” Bruce said between squashed lips. He looked like a deranged goldfish.

“Why would I?” Tony asked. “I get all my sex-ed from Jellybean.” He nodded towards Rhodey.

Steve looked horrified. “You talk about our sex life with War Machine?” The angry flush on his face was very becoming and Tony would have appreciated it more if he didn’t know that it meant no nookie for the next while.

“I’m scarred for life,” Rhodey told Steve, expression very grave. “There are things you just shouldn’t know about your team leader.”

“What are you all talking about?” Sam strolled over with Wanda and Vision. “And why does Steve look constipated?”

“He’s trying to decide whether to kill himself or Tony,” Bucky told him. “I reckon it’s about fifty-fifty.”

Tony glared at Rhodey. “Look what you’ve done!” He threw a hand out. “I’m going to be sexiled forever!”

“What’s going on and why wasn’t I invited?” Clint appeared at Tony’s shoulder, holding on to Coulson’s hand. Tony still had nightmares about Agent Agent and Birdbrain being an actual couple. Something in the universe had gone very wrong.

“I have no idea,” Vision said. “But Steve is apparently about to withdraw sexual congress from Tony.”

Steve just dropped his face into his hands. “I hate my life.”

Bucky patted his shoulder. “You wanted Stark,” he reminded Steve. “Don’t be surprised that your life is a circus.”

“Hey!” Tony protested. “All I wanted to know is what Bruce and I talked about two years ago because _someone_ ,” he narrowed his eyes at Rhodey, “was being a bitch about it.”

“You speak of the time-travelling,” Thor boomed, coming up behind Clint, Jane and Darcy on each arm. “That was a most interesting few weeks.”

“Time-travelling?” Tony stared at Thor blankly. “I’ve never time-travelled.” He looked around at the others. “Have I?”

“Not that I know of,” Bruce said. “Although I’d really like to travel back to a couple of minutes ago before this entire conversation started.”

Thor frowned in confusion. “But I thought….” Jane stood on his toes with a very sharp heel. “Nothing!” he yelped in a high falsetto. “I was mistaken. I know not of what I speak. I must have imbibed of too much wine!”

Tony exchanged a look with Bruce. They’d definitely corner their favorite Norse god later and pry the truth out of him.

“Alrighty then.” Tony dragged the words out. “Since nobody knows anything, may I have this dance?” He held out a hand to Steve.

“I’m still mad at you,” Steve said even as he wrapped his arms around Tony.

“Not my fault.” Tony felt obligated to defend his own honor. “Bruce was the one who brought sex into the conversation.”

“You talk about our sex-life with Rhodes.” Steve gave him a flat, unimpressed look. “Bucky was right. I have no idea why I love you.”

“I’m irresistible,” Tony said. 

“You’re very resistible,” Steve countered. “All the resistance.”

Tony grinned. Not many people got to see this side of Captain Sassy Pants. “So, at these shindigs, it’s customary for the best man to hit on the maid of honor.”

“I walked the bride down the aisle,” Steve reminded him. “I wasn’t the best man.”

“I was talking about Barton,” Tony said with a little eyebrow waggle.

Steve stumbled on a startled laugh. “Coulson would slit your throat with his tie.”

Tony thought about that for a second. “You’re probably right,” he admitted. “I’d settle for the father of the bride.” He beamed at Steve.

“I hate you,” Steve told him.

Tony put a hand behind Steve’s head and brought his own face up. “Lies,” he whispered before kissing the fuck out of him.

Steve smiled into the kiss. Tony did too. It took his breath away that this was his life now. That he was loved, not just by Steve and Bucky, but by his team.

He chuckled while Fury was led around the dance floor by a beaming Hill. That way lay nightmares for sure.

Pepper waved to him, grinning as Happy bulldozed his way through the dancers, all effort and no execution.

He watched as Bruce tried not to wince every time Darcy stood on his toes. 

He couldn’t stop a soft laugh as Vision and Wanda drifted across the floor, floating several inches above it.

He saw Clint and Phil doing a reasonable facsimile of a shuffle, Clint’s head tucked against Phil’s neck.

He gaped as Thor threw Jane in the air with a yell and caught her again before her shriek had finished echoing around the ballroom.

He caught Bucky’s wink as he spun Natasha in a circle, her head flung back as she laughed.

Somehow he’d managed to muddle through life and acquire this…family of crazy people who accepted him as he was.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Steve’s question had Tony looking back up at him.

“My thoughts are _far_ more precious than that.” He lifted a hand to Steve’s cheek. “You know I love you, right?”

Steve flushed. “Of course I know,” he mumbled.

“I should say it more.” Tony rubbed his thumb across Steve’s lips. “I’m going to say it more.”

“That would be great.” Steve’s eyes shone. “I didn’t think I’d get a chance to be happy in this world.”

Tony held Steve tighter. “We got really, really lucky,” he murmured into Steve’s neck. “I don’t even want to imagine how awful my life would be without you and Bucky and the team.”

Steve’s arms were a comforting band around him. “Good thing we don’t have to find out,” he said.

“Mm, good thing,” Tony agreed.

~o0o~

For the rest of his life, every so often, Tony would see something flash out of the corner of his eye. When he turned to look, it would slip away like quicksilver.

He chalked it up to migraines, exhaustion, needing new glasses…

He knew it wasn’t.

Somehow he knew that it wasn’t an itch he should scratch.

So he didn’t.

And they lived (mostly) happily ever after.


End file.
